I did.. panic attacks!!!
Did you exhibit some wierd behaviour ...
by Brummie 30 Replies latest jw experiences
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Xandria
The Guilt, The PANIC Attacks, the fear.. all of it was HORRIBLE and confusing. Some understood, others didn't and some still can't in some aspects. Yet you go on. Even now, when I think I am going on fine.. I get smacked with something and it comes flooding back.
X.
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Robdar
I started lying to my parents, couldn't sleep, had bad dreams of Armageddon when I did sleep, cried all the time, felt wound up inside, suffered anxiety attacks where my heart would beat so hard and fast that it would shake the bed, I started developing muscle twitches, I started drinking to the point of intoxication, and finally withdrew from society and attempted suicide. I went through therapy but didn't find any relief. I was pathetic.
Then, I faced the truth that I could no longer go on in the organization and my family would have to either deal with it or shun me. They shunned me at first and then dealt with it. Although I started the fade 24 years ago, it still took me a few years to work it out. Leaving the WTS still affects me but not in the way it did when I first started out on my own.
Rob
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ko38
I was very dissenchanted to say the least.
Being a newbie here right when it happened I made some post's that were mean.(SORRY)
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bikerchic
You know Brummie I hadn't really thought much about this I mean at the time it didn't register with me what was going on.
I do remember in therapy my therapist told me to take up a hobby and best yet was to get involved in something physical like dancing or something. She said something about right brain/left brain and how it would help to reprogram the logical/methodical side I think that's the right side with some learning/creative thinking, left side to reprogram. I doubt I'm making sense here because what she said didn't make a lot of sense to me either.
Here is what I did, at first I started going to line dancing classes they were fun and I totally enjoyed going and it was on a meeting night, lol. Some time later I started cycling and that took on a life of it's own as I started right away training to do a 50 mile bike event and I had probably never rode a bike further than 1 mile in my life! Like I said it took on a life of it's own and I must have put nearly 4,000 miles on my two bikes in the next 18 months! I felt like Forest Gump.........
Anyway the crazies went away and mind you I was in the throws of trying to repair my marriage, finding out more about the Brotherhood/Elder arrangement than I ever wanted to know and finally making the decision to quit going to the meetings altogether which is why my therapist told me to reprogram myself in that way.
Does this make sense or am I still crazy?
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Tigerman
bikerchic . . . no, you're not still crazy; you did the right thing. I think our bodies have to be used ( exercised) so our minds and souls work okay. Thanks.
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SheilaM
I was so scared that Thunder would stay in or go back...I still have dreams about him going back and re-uniting with his parents
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Vivamus
Oh yes, i looked like i was having a nervous breakdown and was totally worn down. When the elders called me even at work i told my manager what was going on. He told me next time they'd bug me i could transfer the call to him and he'd deal with them. He told me i could call on him anytime i needed it. I was so thankfull i cried, almost.
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Elsewhere
I became suisidal... oh and would leaving my book bag open in the shower for a month be considered wierd?
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Brummie
gawwd, I'm so glad that we all got through the worst of that period in our lives, I can relate to what all of you have shared, what a shame that many are going through it still. I hope some reading each of you're experiences will now know that they are not going mad or crazy but are experiencing the upside down emotions of mental abuse.
thx for sharing (group hug)
Brummie