Broken Fairy,
Along with other comments, I too, do not consider you to be "broken". From the words you write, I see much strength. I see you fluttering on delicate, fragile wings, trying to be yourself in an overwhelming world.
Do not let others dictate how you should be. It seems you have been condemned for depression. From my own past experience I know that out of dark depths of depression. light, love and insight arise. Christians from eras past have called it the dark night of the soul.
It is true that to the making of books there is no end. Why? How can all of reality be placed in books. Even John says that the few years of Christ's works could never be expressed in books. One must dwell in reality itself, our own inner reality as well as the reality outside of us. James Thomas in his post above has said it much better than I .
For me, the words, do not abandon the gathering of yourselves together does not mean sitting in windowless meeting places, reviewing day after day, repititious dogma. It means exactly what you are doing right now, seeking others, where love may be found along with right works.
Along with all the other posters, I welcome you with open arms, and tears in my eyes. Stay with us for a while, drink in warmth and comfort and shelter from hostile winds.
Your insight into the scriptures you have mentionned, tell me you are on the right track. No one can take away the understanding you have. You say that you have three Bibles. To facilite your Bible study, to find texts you do not know how to locate, try this site, there are others also.
http://www.blueletterbible.org/
Fly, girl, fly, remember the Monarch butterfly, can fly in one season from the northern reaches of Canada, to Southern California and Mexico to congregate with others of the same species.
