when did you stop believing?

by cherryblossomgirl 22 Replies latest jw friends

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  ColdRedRain

  At the bright old age of 9. Momma made the mistake of turning me on to science.
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  ColdRedRain

  So you're a sconnie, ehh? Prepare to be VERY disappointed this Sunday :)
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  duffy

  I think the disbelief began at a circut ass. in Canada back in the late 80's. I was down because my wife had run off (again) and now had my son. This 'sister' who was in a wheelchair, all gnarled up from some degenrative disease and had been for probably longer than I had been alive, was asking why I had been missing meetings. I told her I was depressed about my situation. She told me that she NEVER GOT DEPRESSED because she prayed so much. This woman who had to have someone else take care of her every intimate detail for decades. She never got down or sad or anything. I felt two things; the first was like a lousy piece of sh*t because I was sad over losing my family. The second, She was full of sh*t.
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  Beachbender

  My family started studying when I was 10 or 11 I can`t remember. All I do recall though is

  my birthday and Christmas taken away with no questions asked! How tramatic for a child,

  then a bible, and strange people were tossed into the mix I was very unhappy and I believe

  now is when depression had set in for me. No one noticed or cared though. This was after

  already dealing with a birthmother walking out on her 3 children,a divorce, and then a stepmom

  who plainly made sure of the fact that she was this wonderful person to take over this already

  made family and to put my birthmother down at every shot.She was a drinker, a smoker, and

  a gossiper, boy did she have some issues to deal with God about! JW`s havn`t helped with

  her haughty and mightier than thee attitude either!
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  JustTickledPink

  About the sister in the wheelchair, I can actually imagine in her mind she isn't depressed because she must believe soooo fully in the new paradise she can't allow herself to see the reality of her situation. She can't comprehend that she is stuck in a wheelchair, otherwise her mental state would shatter. She has to ignore reality and keep believing for fear that this is all for her. My mother is in the worst state of denial, and always comments on how "happy" she is, when her situation clearly shows otherwise.

  But what did it for me? Actually nothing to do with doctrine. It had to do with the people. They never were nice and welcoming and social... they didn't include me because I came from a single parent household, and we were poor, we always rated second class. I worked so hard to gain their approval but it didn't work. When I started socializing with worldlings they accepted me and thought I was funny, I enjoyed hanging out with them. It was at that point I realized that "worldly" people were normal. That they were super nice, and I made some wonderful friends. I learned what UNCONDITIONAL love meant. Then it all fell into place. The Witnesses lie about worldly people... I have only seen good things and had wonderful friendships and met a wonderful husband.
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  lonelysheep

  I stopped believing once I finished the knowledge book and started doing research for my bible study using the insight books....the topic was the fabulous great crowd and the (something) sheep. It was explained to me who was going to be destroyed in armegeddon, who was going to live, who would be teaching the resurrected ones about everything we'd learned and lived through, and what a so-called privaledge it was to be one of the baptized ones who hold jehovah's favor. It all seemed contradictory to what I was taught from reading the bible verses. But they taught those verses, applying it to what the society dictated to be true; whereas I read the verses and took them at face value (or the implication), which is opposite of what we were being taught from the brooklyn boys. I remember thinking who are they to say who will and won't be holding god's favor?! No one can read his mind so what gives them the right to even claim to?! That's part of where (I think) the higher-than-thou attitude came into play. In addition to the numerous cover ups of their beginnings. [I'm so glad I'm reading CoC now.]

  After thinking it all through, (which I then realized I hadn't ever done without being in a wts haze of everything they say is golden), none of it made sense to me! I realized that they were no different than any of the 'worldly' churches I actually grew up to hate! Then the blood issue that inside, I was already trying so hard to convince myself of its truth, became what it really is: BS. After that, I went to only one more meeting, listened to the public talk on a sunday, and became totally turned off by what was being said. I realized that they really were controlling every last detail about my life. I felt so duped over the last 4 years, and got up to leave before it was over.
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  jb

  For me it was when my older brother Scott was killed in a car accident. I remember my Dad coming in arround 5 in the morning and waking me up. He brought me into my parents room and started reading my some scriptures. I couldn't tell you what they were because I was so confused. I couldn't figure out what he was doing , he worked 3rd shift and shouldn't be home. Then he told me.

  We did the big funeral thing. And during the calling hours I saw my poor brother just laying there. I went up to him and just lost it. My Mom brought me outside with some help from an old family friend.( who was also an Elder and the one who showed my parents the "truth") I was crying uncontrolably so he slapped me in the face and told me to snap out of it I was going to see my brother in the new system anyway!

  That was it for me. I was 13. I kept going living my life like a "normal witness" would but I knew I didn't believe in the new system. More questions followed but I waited until I was out on my own before I took a real hard look at them.
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  Incense_and_Peppermints

  I was crying uncontrolably so he slapped me in the face and told me to snap out of it I was going to see my brother in the new system anyway!

  good lord. sometimes i really hate the jw's...
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  cherryblossomgirl

  My avatar is a cat with a secret to tell. What that secret is, I have no idea. You can just tell by his smirk.
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  Mulan

  When I was 50 years old. Wish I hadn't had the blinders on all the years of my life, from age 4. It took my husband (an elder) constantly telling me things that weren't right, and finally wearing me down so that I would actually look at the evidence. Sometimes dares work.