ARHG!! I cant stand it!

by filip 17 Replies latest jw friends

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  filip

  I know you all have adviced me just to keep low-profile and not bang out and tell my super-elder dad that I dont believe in his crap.

  But I just cant stand it! All around me everywhere I go theres this vomiting sense of thick JW-air. Especially with this tsunami-incident; all I hear is: "Oh its a sign that the end is near and this and that, thats what Jesus that, that there would be earthquakes..." gees, if that makes me the son of god I can be pretty sure to predict that 2000 years from now, there will still be earthquakes, LOL

  I have to go to the meetings 3 times a week! plus field service saturday morning! and all im thinking is, why do I have to do this when I dont even believe in it? its a waste time!

  But I cant do anything, cause Im still only 15 so Im practically in prison until Im old enough to move away from home. Arghh! its a pain!
• 

  logansrun

  filip,

  Well, I'm really sorry about this. Take your time, though. Try and keep your wits about you. If you can talk to a trusted teacher or counselor at school that might help. DON'T jump off the deep-end and start smoking, doing drugs or anything like that. Play it smart and be glad you are coming to some insights very young for a person raised a JW.

  Bradley
• 

  GetBusyLiving27

  Well at least you have a good bull-shit detector. Just ride it out and when you have you're chance and you're old enough, get the hell outa there. You can do it. I know it sucks because I went through the same thing when I was you're age too.
• 

  kaykay_mp

  Three more years--you can tough it out. That's what I had to do.

  And please take logansrun's advice.

  laters

  kaykay_mp
• 

  Eyebrow2

  filip,

  Have you told your dad you are not comfortable at least going out in field service? I realize you have to be careful what you say of course.

  Try not to let this religion put too a big a rift between you and your family. I know that is easier said then done. But I say that to you out of personal experience: I was quite a loyal witness, and because of it, I was never very close to my oldest sisters. I didn't shunn them, but at the same time, didn't feel comfortable seeking them out because they were not witnesses. I regret that.

  I understand you are frustrated. If you have not already, I suggest possibly keeping a journal and write about what the exact things are that frustrates you about the religion. Most teenagers that rebelled that I knew growing up were just sick of it because of the restrictions. That is why I had left for a few years in my teens. It wasn't until after I was in my mid 20s that I woke up and started to truly look at the religion with an open mind. When you ARE ready to speak with your parents about this, you want them to understand that you are not just being a selfish teen, thinking only of the fun you may be missing. (not that THAT isn't a good reason to question it haha).

  If you are going to meetings out of respect for your parents because you live in their house, I really commend you for that. It is not an easy thing to do. But when you are 18 you can lead your own life.

  By the way, will your parents allow to attend college if you want? Just curious...JW parents in my day weren't very encouraging in that area, but things surely have changed the last 15 years!
• 

  filip

  Yes, I can certainly sense bull-shit when I smell it.LOL

  Well, Brad I wasnt thinking about start smoking or doing drugs. Its just another unneccesary addiction that keeps the body and brain in prison. Right now Im just enjoing the small things. For example just entering this site. When I first started reading here a month ago or so, I felt like I was selling my soul to satan... now I feel good about it.

  The thing is I just cant move out right away as soon as Im 18. Then I would still have a year left of the danish college (yes, Im from Denmark, a little country next to Sweden). After that I need to find an apartment, get my economy straight and for all that Im gonna need help from my family.

  So maybe i can move when Im 20 or so. If I left home already at 18, and my whole family then would turn their back to me I would be really f****d
• 

  Valis

  filip, you might be f'ed because they won't associate with you, but I can tell you from my own experience that moving out when you can will lead to a tremendous growth experience for you. AND just because you move out at a young age and try to establish your own life it doesn't mean you have to become some druggie or idiot loser kid. Find yourself a job perhaps like at a hotel when you get a bit older...odd hours can keep you from going to the hall and being subject to the million and one "spirit directed" bossing sessions you have to deal with. Maybe even find some voulunteer stuff to get you out of the house. Oh and ya, stay in school as long as you can, even after you leave. You will be the better for it.

  Sincerely,

  District Overbeer
• 

  A Paduan

  Is their financial support really necessary to your future ?

  What if they were poor ?

  ADDIT - I have no idea what the community / social supports are like in Denmark.
• 

  filip

  this morning I have just been out in field service, and I hate it. I couldnt hide that I was upset, but everyone just thought that I was tired (which I also was, because my dad dragged me out of bed like shit'o'clock).

  No one thinks that I have drifted this far out of THE TRUTH. Im quite sure that my family and some other super-elders have noticed that maybe Im not as spritual as I could be, but NO ONE thinks that I have already left "the truth".

  An ideal situation for me would be that I could tell my family that I dont believe in it, and they would accept and not turn their back on me, so I would first have to move away from home when I am ready.

  I think its so unfair, if everyone would turn their back on me and not talk to me, as is the case with other people leaving the truth. Psycological its so hard to be "hated" like that. But its just another thing that convinces me that JW is a creepy cult, that I just need to get out of!

  Its funny, right now my mom and dad are discussing downstairs very seriously about me being so negative this morning for going out in service. They make ME look like Im the bad one, for not jumping of joy everytime were going in service or to the meetings.

  Oh yeah, btw Im happily not baptised so I wont get df'ed, wont I? Though my dad will loose "his privelige" as an elder. Oh I would love to see the look on his face when they say from the speaker that hes not an elder more...
• 

  Gill

  Hang on in there Filip! I know it feels like a terrible prison right now, and emotionally it is, but things could be worse.

  Not knowing your family I don't know what the best reaction would be.

  I can tell you what happened in my house. It was five years ago now. My husband and self were still going to meetings, our oldest children were 15 and 16 years old. One day my fifteen year old son said, when I asked him to get up and go to the meeting with us "No'! He said 'I'm not going any more. If you want to go, you go, I'm not stopping you! His sister said the same.

  We were bloody angry, even outraged. It wasn't even just a case of not wanting to go to the meetings and possibly dying at Armageddon but they were disobedient!

  I'm going to be totally honest with you here! So brace yourself. This is not to our credit. My husband and son got into a pushing match and not far off a punch up. Things were very very hard for quite a few months in our house.

  Gradually his decision, he did explain to us that he though it was all crap by the way, but his and his sister decisions set my husband off thinking. A year or so later he also decided not to go and associate any more and finally myself.

  You see, at your age there's two ways you can go. Stick it out until you're old enough to make your stand or, at the young age of 15, when you're still protected by the law and society, and you can't be evicted, you can, in a mild a manner as possible I'd recommend, stand your ground. It may be very rough. Your parents may even react as badly as my husband and myself did, being very angry.

  Myself, I wish I'd know the truth about 'the troof', when I was your age. I admire your spirit. But I think whatever choice you make, to stand your ground now or make your stand later, you have to be ready for repurcussions and unpleasantnesses to follow.

  Remember, you're not baptised. That's a big plus in your favour!

  I never thought that I'd recommend someone read the Watchtower again but if you have a look at the latest one Feb 1st 2005 and page 28 you'll find that there's an interesting story about a young man called Eric. May I say you don't have to go back to 'the troof' like Eric does at the end but it seems to show that parents should be patient with children who do not want the truth.

  Also, if you reject the truth now, but are a well behaved son otherwise you will not be asked to leave home.

  If you reject the truth at 18 you may be forced to leave.

  Perhaps, if you can take the consequences and can brace yourself for them, you should stand your ground in a kind a manner as possible, now.

  Think about it.