Out of the Blue, An Elder Calls

by FreePeace 27 Replies latest jw experiences

  • FreePeace
    FreePeace

    Last night, my cell phone rang and it was a number I didn?t recognize. I answered, and the voice said, ?Is this Doug?? I said ?yes,? and he said, ?This is DD ? (an elder I used to ?serve? with).

    It has been six years since I left, 5 1/2 since I was df?d. I have not heard from them since that time.

    I immediately asked, ?How did you get this number?? He said, ?Your mother gave it to me? (thanks mom). He asked if I wanted to get together and talk. I said, ?Oh, are you thinking about leaving the organization?? He said no. I asked what he wanted to talk about, and he said something about seeing if I wanted to come back.

    It is funny? the explosion of different emotions that converged on my brain at that moment. Anger, bitterness, resentment? I found it hard to speak without my voice shaking.

    I handled the call calmly, with respect and dignity for him; I did not yell, however I firmly made my position crystal clear.

    I said, ?I appreciate the intent of your call, but let me explain my position, DD. I am happier than I?ve ever been. It is soooo much better NOT being a Witness than it ever was BEING a Witness. I am no longer religious. I do not believe in the bible at all, or god necessarily. I am agnostic. I am as much of an apostate as you?ll ever find, and I am never coming back. Furthermore?just to make my position perfectly clear?IF it is all true and Armageddon does come, I will die flipping Jehovah off while I tell him, ?Fuck you!??

    I stated again that I appreciated the intent of his call, that I had nothing against him personally, and the reason for my being so direct was to emphasize that I am NEVER coming back, and to NOT CALL ME AGAIN unless you are thinking about leaving the organization.

    I told him that the WTS was corrupt, that they lie, and that they are blood guilty for hurting so many people. I brought up the UN issue, and told him that it was provable that they were part of the ?Beast? for 10 years? all he had to do was call the UN and ask.

    He remained silent through all this, and then said something about us being friends at one time. I said, ?Yes we were. But your beliefs preclude a friendship with me. You will only accept me as long as I believe like you do. I, however, will accept you no matter what you believe.

    After a few of his awkward comments, I told him, ?Please relay what I?ve said to the body. Don?t call me again. If I ever want to come back, I?ll call you.?

    He said ?Okay,? and asked if I spoke for Tracy (Think41Self) as well. I said, ?Yes, and you are welcome to ask her personally IF you can find our [unpublished] home number, because I?m not giving it to you. However, if you do talk to her, I?m not sure she?ll go as easy on you as I did.?

    He said, ?Okay,? and the call ended.

    So why did he call? Well, it is that time of the year to check in with df?d people, and recently, my brother gave a talk in his congregation while visiting my mom. Apparently, my brother asked him to call me (Farkel and AlanF knows my brother). That pissed me off too. Why can?t my brother call me? Maybe he is afraid? maybe he?s too emotionally involved to deal with it.

    Any rate, I trust they won?t be calling again.

    Doug Kelley

    Edited to correct formatting

  • blondie
    blondie
    So why did he call? Well, it is that time of the year to check in with df?d people, and recently, my brother gave a talk in his congregation while visiting my mom. Apparently, my brother asked him to call me (Farkel and AlanF knows my brother). That pissed me off too. Why can?t my brother call me? Maybe he is afraid? maybe he?s too emotionally involved to deal with it.

    So your mother gave out your unpublished number...she could have called you and asked your permission. But I suppose they hope don't they. I think you were very clear.

    Blondie

  • funkyderek
    funkyderek
    I am happier than I?ve ever been. It is soooo much better NOT being a Witness than it ever was BEING a Witness. I am no longer religious. I do not believe in the bible at all, or god necessarily. I am agnostic. I am as much of an apostate as you?ll ever find, and I am never coming back. Furthermore?just to make my position perfectly clear?IF it is all true and Armageddon does come, I will die flipping Jehovah off while I tell him, ?Fuck you!??

    "OK - so we'll put you down as a maybe"

  • franklin J
    franklin J

    hey doug,

    You did the right thing; handling this as cool as you did. I have been in similar situations and handled it as you did. There is always a tempation to tell them all #$%&?! you!

    Your old friend did count the time; you can be sure of that.

    If it is any consolation; you know he really believes that he is doing gods will.

    regards, Frank

  • 95stormfront
    95stormfront
    Last night, my cell phone rang and it was a number I didn?t recognize. I answered, and the voice said, ?Is this Doug?? ...........

    It is at this point that I would've terminated the call. Unless I recognize a voice personally, I feel it's incumbent of the person initiating the call to identify themselves "first" and will often insist that they do before any conversation takes place. That way I start off in a position of control and strength.

    I hate it when people try this tact with me and nobody does this worse than bill collectors and JW elders when they're trying to corner someone into talking to them, as if if you tell them who you are first, then identify themselves that it is incumbent upon you to talk to them.

  • waiting
    waiting

    Hey Doug,

    My mil kept asking the elders to come and talk with my husband (she doesn't care about my spiritual welfare). My husband, after many attempts to be polite with her - told her forcefully to STOP. He put it too her like this. "I'm never coming back to the meetings. If you keep sending the elders around to talk with me - I'm going to REALLY tell them how I feel. I will be disassociated........and then you'll never be able to talk to me again - and out of respect for your spirituality - I'll never speak to you again either. Is that what you want, mom?"

    Well, since we live next door to her, and she's 86, she stopped asking the elders to come by. But she still blames me for his leaving - as if he isn't smart enough to make his own choices. Ahhhhhhhh, the life of the wicked daughter in law.

    Glad you told the truth to your former friend - maybe give him something to think about when his guard is down.

    waiting

  • 95stormfront
    95stormfront
    Your old friend did count the time; you can be sure of that.

    You can be assured that there was another "elder" on the phone listening in secretly on the whole call also to serve as a second witness to anything said for their kangaroo court judicial purposes. Every confrontation I've ever had with an elder went this way.....the tag team "good cop bad cop" approach.

    Probably should've jsut got his number and called him back to be sure.

    If you even cared to.

  • Doubtfully Yours
    Doubtfully Yours

    They'll call again. No soon, but they'll call again. That bunch never gives up!

    DY

  • Incense_and_Peppermints
    Incense_and_Peppermints
    Last night, my cell phone rang and it was a number I didn?t recognize.

    since you have his number, you should call him every so often to see if he wants to leave his "religion".

  • 95stormfront
    95stormfront
    since you have his number, you should call him every so often to see if he wants to leave his "religion".

    Great idea!!! You can tell him that you're just offering "encouragement".

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