I refused a shepherding visit ! (page 2)

ddean3673

I don't know how realistic it is...but I just moved, and went to the new cong. long enough to get my card sent, then quit going. They never noticed and didn't know where I lived.

bikerchic

Can I get into trouble for refusing a shepherding visit. This is my second refusal, although last time i said we were going away (OK, i lied). They will probably just drop in now, un-announced. Whats the rules? What could he do?
I'm not overly worried - dont get me wrong. We were just hoping to drift away quietly, didn't want to make any waves. Should i be up-front with them, or just keep stalling, and hope they go away?
Phil

I refused them all the time and look at me! Well ok, not such a good idea.......

Rules, they change them as they go so it's best to decide what outcome you want for you and your family. Do you want to be DF'ed, DA'ed or just a passing thought to the JW's? Then make YOUR MOVE to accomplish what's best for you.

For myself I found that moving away from the area of my local congregation worked best for me to fade, then my elder sister and bil followed......so I moved farther away but now I'm to the point of just being open and honest with my family. I think it gets to a point where they realize you are out and aren't coming back so they give up on trying to get you back in. Hopefully I'll be like any other worldly person to them soon.

Whatever you decide to do I wish luck! Oh and welcome to JWD!

Kate

Doubtfully Yours

Good move this time. However, they won't go away!

DY

Pole

I also refused a visit in a rather explicit way after a few months of not going to the meetings. The funny thing is that I got three calls from another elder, asking me about my service report (for 3 consequtive months). Each time I said I had nothing to report. Last month was the first time I didn't get called.

I guess they are finally getting the message. I don't care at this stage anyway. My wife's out, my mother is half-out. They were the only reason I decided to pretend for a few months.

My advice: if they come to your place, say you're just about to leave and that if you want to meet them, you'll give them a call. They need some time to understand you no longer recognize their "authority" as elders. It's really hard for them to grasp that a regular congregation member like you finally discovers these WT policemen have plastic guns.

Goldminer

I refused a sheperding call once also.I even did it right in the KH,the look on the elder's face was priceless but I was sticking to my guns.Since then the odd CO has come to try to "encourage" us and that's it,we've never had another sheperding call from the local elders.

Besides,they count their time when they do those calls,so what is the real intent to it?

Elsewhere

It doesn't sound like he is on a witch hunt... you should be fine.

He was just going down the bullet list of people like he us supposed to before the CO visit.

Incense_and_Peppermints

Sunspot

so they went from ignoring you completely to getting pushy and stalking you. hmm...psychologists have a term for that - it's called "passive/agressive" / which in my book describes them to a "T"...

iiz2cool

That's how it started with me. The more I refused a shepherding call the more persistent they became. Then they started phoning and coming to the door. Once they even followed my vehicle in 2 vans when my wife was driving and I was at work - then stopped their pursuit when they saw the driver wasn't me. She called me at work and yelled, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU INVOLVED IN???" The knocks on my door became more persistent. The last time they came they pounded on my door so hard I thought the glass would break. That time I answered the door and told them not to come back. Then I wrote a letter and DA'd, and it was probably the wisest decision of my life.

confusedjw

One could say it was nice that they are interested in you, but of course it's more of a corporate interest as Elders have become like middle managers in a corporation. I used that term with a CO and he got defensive.

Everyone is a cult victim

BrendaCloutier

If you get "the call" again, you might record it. Even though it isn't useful in a court of law, it might be useful if they start to twist their conversations. Read your message recorder info. It should tell you how to do so. If you are not on that phone, ask them to hang on until you get to a different phone as you're in the garage or basement or something.

I refused a shepherding visit !

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