mind games to free yourself of jw fear mentality

by boy@crossroads 11 Replies latest jw experiences

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  boy@crossroads

  I find that to get rid of the jw mentality I have to play mind games on myself as I go throughout my day. One tactic that I've been using recently involves telling myself "Now as I go through this (whatever) situation how would you act if you had never been exposed Jehovahs witnesses". it really is an amazing thing for me b/c after I think about the situation I really do become more comfortable and the true "me" comes out. I find that I become more sociable and approachable.

  I've been doing my fade for about 6 or 7 months now. Up to this point I've been very careful about keeping a low profile as to my activities (e.g. attending other churches, opening myself up to outside association, reconnecting with old highschool associates). I've basically been living my life like Neo from Matrix and treating old witness associates like Agent Smiths. When I first started my fade I would just dissappear when I saw one but now I'm starting to just not give a shit. I have to continually tell myself (for example if i'm out with some old friends and if a witness sees me) that "I'm not doing anything wrong I'm just living my life. They are the ones that are wrong."

  I've definitely come a long way since the last meeting I stepped foot in. Some of the things I still have an issue with are feeling comfortable around people smoking (theres always that little voice) and feeling comfortable in the midst of a large "worldly" crowd (I always feel like I shouldn't be there and that its a waste of time b/c we will all be destroyed). My head says "its all bullshit you know it" but my heart is just damn stubborn.
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  Purza

  I hear you. I have been faded for about 2.5 years now and I still have trouble with singing happy birthday or celebrating xmas. It is weird -- I feel as if I am doing something wrong. I have to almost talk to myself out loud to tell myself it is okay now. Its strange realizing that we were programmed to think/feel a certain way about these things. It does get a bit easier as time passes (or so I am finding out).

  Good luck to you on your fade.

  Purza
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  PinTail

  Not me, I just nonchalantly do like it I take a notion, if family or witness friends don't like I tell them to just pound sand Shane.
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  AlmostAtheist

  Some feelings are stronger than others, and some people are more affected by feelings than others. But I have to ask, have you *proven* to yourself that the Watchtower teachings are bogus? If not, you owe it to yourself to do enough research to satisfy your questions. You don't have to carry around any question at all about blood, birthdays, Christmas, "Faithful and Discreet Slave", all of these doctrines can be comfortably shot down using the New World Translation.

  If you haven't done this for yourself, you must do so. The peace of mind can't come without it.

  Dave
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  franklin J

  keep up the good work...
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  Special K

  Sounds to me like you are making fine progress at fading away from the J.W.'s

  and I really like your way of using pointed questions to yourself to thwart that old J.W. mind controlling thinking.

  Good for you!

  Special K
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  GetBusyLiving27

  Whenever I feel instinctively bad about celebrating anything or just whatever I think of the experience in CoC of those brothers and sisters in Malawi that got screwed over by the Society. Works like a charm.
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  boy@crossroads

  I appreciate everybodies responses !

  to almost atheist- while I know that their doctrines are bogus I haven't really sat down to research all of them. I take more of a "let your heart guide you" approach. I think once I totally get rid of Jw fear then I will go back to research just how wrong they are. But being in the early stages of the fade I'm just trying to establish fact from fantasy as regards the "world".
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  Doubtfully Yours

  It sound like you're doing alright in your fade. However, by all means, don't go harboring the wrong mentality (JW-related, by the way) that "oh what the heck, I'll be destroyed anyway", thus giving up good values you're acquired.

  Just because you leave the WTBTS doesn't mean that you should now develop bad habits that are damaging to your mind and body, such as smoking, drug usage, heavy drinking, tobacco chewing, overeating, etc.

  Don't "throw the bath water with the baby in it", so to speak, like so many do when exiting the JWs.

  DY
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  bebu

  I take more of a "let your heart guide you" approach.

  That's not so bad. But your problem is that your 'heart' has been severely tainted by mere teachings of men. So AA's advice to investigate various things is good. But it looks like you have a proven method at work, which is to counter the habitual thoughts with the truth at each point. Over time, you'll naturally feel the freedom which is truly yours.

  bebu