Dear Mario,
I'm glad that you are still here. I know that you have suffered unbearable grief and despair. Please know that you can get through this. Use us here on this forum as shoulders to cry on and as a way to express your grief. Each day the darkness will get less and less until you see a little glimmer of light. Keep reaching for that glimmer of light and hope. Even though you will never forget, you will get better someday. My younger brother experienced the mind numbing grief of losing his son to leukemia. Several years later my older brother lost his son to a brain tumor. It was the strength and understanding of my younger brother that helped my older brother through his grief. I know that you can get through your grief with some love and understanding from those of us here and those that are helping you locally. Promise me this one thing my friend, please don't give up.
Mr. Shakita