I've hardly ever posted here but started because of a JW friend I had and now am married to since November. It seems like the lack of apparent genuine love for one another within a congregation I keep hearing about may be the most common as well as hurtful reasons a JW begins to question so many things and even drop out of the Watchtower.
I know I've felt a lack of love within standard churches at times but then feel I've been shown a lot more care and concern than such a lack of love as what it seems so many JW's experience, though I'm sure any -- such as my wife -- can share times when they've felt cared about; just not nearly as much as one would think over a life of over 27 years as a JW. It seems so strange to me that those either in higher positions of authority or those in good standing, i.e. pioneering, etc., might be so out of balance, overall, when it comes to trying to help vs. trying to condemn.
I'm still looking for ways to try and keep my DF'd wife convinced that she's not a bad or God-condemned person just because a group of imperfect people judged her and DF'd her. Would they have DF'd King David back in the day?!? I hope you do fine and that people such as my wife can find more peace and understanding that this lame organization does not indeed represent any real and objective truth -- at least none that I can discern. I should say I at least acknowledge that overall good moral teaching is a plus, but I can't find any other upside to the WT...
Slow to help....Quick to punish!
by FreedomFrog 52 Replies latest jw friends
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The Leological One
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FreedomFrog
I hope you do fine and that people such as my wife can find more peace and understanding that this lame organization does not indeed represent any real and objective truth
Thanks TLO...I also hope your wife can find peace as well.
Like my husband always tell me, I try to fix things and while "fixing" I break things because I'm in panic and I need to learn to slow down . And he's right. I'm a person that needs things to be fixed RIGHT NOW. It's hard for me to have patience when it comes to "fixing" things. I'm a very emotional person and I can't go to bed when someone is upset with me. I've just got to learn that you can't fix EVERYTHING over night.
FF
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Doubtfully Yours
And there you have it all in a nutshell... "Wait on Jehovah". The 'cure all' for JWs!!!
DY
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FreedomFrog
yep, I guess I'm not "waiting on Jehovah". Oh well, I'm gonna be destroyed!
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Sassy
Freedom frog, you have some good advice here.. Unless you care about being a witness, I wouldn't bother going to the JC. Although the attorney was a good idea... but it does seem to me that if they think they can nail you with christmas celebrations or going to church, they are going to do what they are going to do any way..
one day they will contact me I am sure.. I won't go.. I'll let them do what they may.. because I refuse to let them steer any part of my life any more.. they can do what they want but I won't be there to hear it, or be interigated..
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FreedomFrog
one day they will contact me I am sure..
Sassy...how long have you been out?
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steve2
How closely these experiences miror mine! After 1975, I began to seriously doubt the Watchtower, but I desperately wanted the elders to help me. I had felt tormented by my doubts. On several occasions, I approached the elders. They were so quick to question my motives and preach about doing more of what Jehovah required. But they did little else. No visits. No encouragement. I got the impression my problems - especially my doubts - were just too much for them and they were too busy with their theocratic schedule.
The last straw for me was when a close JW friend - not an elder, by the way - told me this: He had been concerned enough about me too so had approached the Circuit Overseer (I think that's what the traveling elder was called). The CO had brushed off my friend's concern and said (refering to me): "He's mental" which in New Zealand is shorthand for branding someone as mentally sick and being beyond help. When I heard this, I realised in one sudden moment that any help I had longed for from the organisation would not be coming my way.
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FreedomFrog
The CO had brushed off my friend's concern and said (refering to me): "He's mental"
Wow Steve...that was harsh. It's hard to go through something like that, especially when you're basically crying out for help. It stays with you for a very long time. At least you can thank them that they didn't listen and you were able to break free.
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The Leological One
"Like my husband always tell me, I try to fix things and while "fixing" I break things because I'm in panic and I need to learn to slow down . And he's right. I'm a person that needs things to be fixed RIGHT NOW. It's hard for me to have patience when it comes to "fixing" things. I'm a very emotional person and I can't go to bed when someone is upset with me. I've just got to learn that you can't fix EVERYTHING over night.
FF"
I know what you mean about having a really hard time just letting things go and going about business when feeling something's wrong. I've learned I can't expect my wife to get over things right away. She may even try to get back in the hall at some point, and I told her if she ever did I'd be there with her to support her while everyone there had to ignore her or look mean or whatever they'd do. Sometimes she gets into crying spells about feeling so unworthy of God and feeling like she hurt a lot of people by getting DF'd, and she seems stuck between hearing me recite verses about forgiveness, grace, and mercy as opposed to the going about doing works to get back in favor -- the works obviously being to put in hours as a JW vs. just getting out and loving one's neighbor as one's self, etc... I hope one day that I'll be able to convince her to check out this site and maybe read a couple books I have as well as check back on several things throughout the WT's history... and then I have to hope it won't totally make her feel everything in this world is as being wrong as some of the things she's been learned to be subjected to and under all those years.
Sorry for the rant, but thanks for your input, and my best wishes to you and all others here. :)
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jgnat
Leological One, do you have Crisis of Conscience? It seems to help a lot of exiting JW's feel better about their decision. After they get over their shock and grief at the level they have been deceived.