which is worse.....?

by undercover 12 Replies latest jw friends

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  xjw_b12

  undecided said:

  Sometimes I question myself if I really loved the brothers or was it just borg fever.

  Good expression. I like that.

  Scottergirl; said:

  If given the choice, I would sooner fade away w/out any notion of insincere caring. I do not have time for hypocrites. So no encouragement would be better to me than encouragement only for the reason of returning to the borg.

  Have to go along with that. And most of the letters I've seen posted here in the past month or so, are definately NOT encouraging. They are letters of condemnation. They are malicious and rude, and totally devoid of any affection or love.

  I cannot fathom how the authors of such letters think their words are going to "encourage" us to go back to "Jehovah's Loving Organization" ©

  xjw_b12 "Millions Now Living Will Never Learn ? ©
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  orangefatcat

  To fade or not to fade that is the question??

  Fading is less painfull if you think no one truly cares. Not fading and hoping someone cares well that is a whole different kettle of fish. I know some really truly and deeply care when someone is faltering in the faith. I feel that their concern is in many cases genuine. Can you live with the fading or do you need the caring. The choice is yours.

  If caring and love is what you seek, just pray that in the end your not hurt and end up leaving disfellowshipped.

  Sometimes I have seen faders leave with no fan fare and have never been disfellowshipped. But if you chose the other method you may be disappointed anyways. Are you leaving the organization? If so, then my mind tells me to just stop going and walk away. As fast as you can.

  IMHO by Orangefatcat.
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  Midget-Sasquatch

  I'm not even going to consider the "sheperding calls" and drop-by-visits from jws just counting time or trying to get some dirt. They're an annoyance, but they tend to renew my zeal for my present course of quiet dissention.

  The visits and calls from those few that really care about me however, are more painful than the silence. I don't doubt their motive of wanting to nurture, and save me, but the cult control is so overriding of them, that "it" becomes central not me. Its an agenda that only exacerbates and antagonizes the split between us. I'm made to feel like I'm the one turning my back on everyone, bein ungrateful and callous towards everyone. It drags one back into that unhealthy dynamic, albeit even momentarily.

  No --- any comfort I may get from knowing that they do genuinely love me isn't enough to salve the repeated infliction of emotional pain. Its especially hurtful to those of us who may already have low self-esteem/negative self-image issues. In the interludes of silence that I'm blessed with, I hear no blame, I don't feel "wicked" and even as an agnostic, I have moments of wanting, desiring something spiritual. Maybe I'm solitary by nature and thats why I love it so. One things for sure, in the silence I can relive just the happy moments with my loved ones, and try to attenuate (but not forget) the painful ones.