Steaming Angry - Forced to explain Shunning to my 5year old daughter!!!

chok

I am absolutely hopping mad angry!!!!

To those of you who know me, you are aware that I have been fading for over a year now. I have a daughter who is 5 and a son who is 2 y. In brief Iast year I separated from my husband, left the organisation, met someone else and am now expecting with my new partner.

Well I have had the usual ups and downs with my JW family. My parents have decided that they will continue to talk to me (although they are pushing me to disassociate myself - to make things easier for them). My younger brother and his wife though havent had much contact with me, and up until today I wasnt sure what their decision was.

Well today I was out shopping with my 2 children when I saw my sister in law with her baby daughter (my niece) a visiting JW friend. She looked at me, I looked at her and was abouts to say hello, when she turned away from me. I started to walk on, realising she was shunning me and hoping my daughter hadnt spotted her aunty and cousin. But she had, and started getting excited and pointing to go and talk to her. I had to steer her away and explain in as kind and brief way as possible that her aunty and uncle would not be talking to me, because I dont go to the meetings anymore. Her immediate reaction was whether her grandparents would still talk to her. I reassured her that they will and she was relieved at this, and seemed to take it quite well. I just hope they dont change their minds.

But I am so angry...what sort of crackpot, evil kind of religion is this!!!?!?!?!?!?! Love of thy neighbour, they havent got a friggin clue what love is!

I need to calm down...I keep getting really stressed over so many incidents, which I know is not good in my condition...but I am so ANGRY!

Chok

dh

They are so full of shit.

FreedomFrog

....I know it's hard. My son, 6 years old, gets angry because "Grandma and Grandpa makes mommy cry".

I'm told it gets better (I've only been out for about 4 months).

Hang in there.

FFrog

kls

Yes you need to calm down . There is nothing you can do about relatives shunning you any more then you can with acquaintances of the cult that show their true self . Show your daughter that you hold your head up high and if people want to shun you because of your beliefs of knowing the Truth that it will only make you stronger. Your daughter will not understand now but as she gets older she will . You need to shrug it off for you and your family or they will destroy you when ever you are faced with seeing them . Remember you beat the cult and they are still in so who is the weaker.

Seeking Knowledge

Your daughter will not understand now but as she gets older she will .

That's what I'm hoping for as well, that my son will understand why his father & his family treat me the way they do. Never been a JW but I'm certainly treated as someone who has horns Just hold you head high & hang in there!

SK

Leolaia

***g70 3/8 p. 12 Hippies Who Have Found the Answers ***

However, there is a system of government that right now is bringing genuine peace to people from all races and nationalities! It is replacing prejudice and hate with equality and love. It is influencing persons from all walks of life to live together as brothers. This new system is no part of the hypocrisy and lies of this world. It guides its subjects so that they are not trapped by materialism, while still providing decently for themselves and their families. And instead of family ties breaking down, it teaches them how to strengthen family ties with bonds of love and mutual respect.

Preston

They are so full of shit.

DH, my thoughts exactly.... - Preston

Raphael

We all know that JW theology teaches members to hate those that abandon the faith, many on this forum if they are honest will have to admit that they also at one time treated others in this way...love is only extended in a very limited way towards "unbelievers" or persons whom are not and never have been JW's.

Worse still ...when individuals try to work towards re-instatement, they are treated like spiritual lepers and the humiliation they have to endure before being welcomed back into the org is a disgrace...it reflects the attitude of the brother in the parable of the prodigal son and not the compassion of the father who ran out to meet his son , while still along way off...

Instead of the loving shepherd...warmly and gently embracing the lamb that had strayed...Watchtower shepherds beat the sheep that have strayed instilling fear and dread into their flock...

Fleur

Ugh, my heart goes out to you. I have walked this road, and still have to, with my child.

My sister did a terrible thing to her; she didn't shun her the first few years after my df-ing, because she thought I would get reinstated. When I didn't, she got really angry and then suddenly cut us off cold. My daughter had been very close with her aunt and is grieving the loss like a death in the family.

My sister tried every avenue to get to my child to brainwash her, I had to put a stop to letting my child go visit my parents without me for example, because she would show up. But then, she cut my parents off too for not shunning me. She's a total 'elderette' and thinks she has a hotline to heaven and knows and sees all.

What she doesn't see is the damage that she has done to my child, out of which the only good that has come is that my daughter, now older than yours by a few years, doesn't ever, ever want to be a Witness.

i'm sorry that you have to go through this.

((((((((hugs)))))))

essie

upside/down

I have never treated anyone like this- even as a Dub.

Not to be insensitive during your "being steamed", but you mention that you "left" your husband and are now "expecting" with a "partner". All I know is that these kind of situations could cause anyone to react in such a way. There aren't enough facts. The following is purely HYPOTHETICAL...

Example#1- You're husband was willfully non-supportive, cheated on you so you left him, you made a poor decision (maybe not) to get pregnant while not married and had your kids in tow. I kinda feel sorry for you.

Example#2- You cheated on (or didn't love) your husband who was a decent guy and ended up leaving with your kids, got knocked up and are now bitter. I have a hard time feeling sorry for you.

I know there are probably a lot of facts and it's a long story so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. But I personally feel you need (or needed) to make a good secure homelife for your pre-existing kids before throwing fuel onto the fire. That said, if you've been on this board for about a year, it should be painfully obvious that the "shun" card is played well and hard by the Dubs- it's their last and most punishing defense. And that you can't control anyone,especially people (Dubs) that are already being "controlled".

I'm currently shunned as well as my kids 15, 13 and 12 respectively. You need to work with your "partner" at becoming your own "island" and replace what's been lost with new family and friends- it can be done and you'd be surprised how resilient kids are (more than us I think). That way when they are grown you can look them in the face and tell them the "real" whole story and not have them hate you.

That said, the Dub practice of "shunning" in all it's forms is "cruel and unusual punishment", which our "worldly" Constitution forbids. They are hypocrites. But many times we make our own bed and more often than not , have to sleep in it.

Focus on your kids and making their lives as whole and love filled as possible and this will help get your focus on something more "positive". Because the "shun" is an unbeatable weapon.

u/d Apology

Steaming Angry - Forced to explain Shunning to my 5year old daughter!!!

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