congregational cliques

chuckyy

It was my experience during my 13 yrs as a JW that congregations usually had a social clique. In other words, there would be a group of people in a congregation that would only associate (and sometimes only go out on field service too) with people within that social clique. If you were in the clique, fine. If not, you would be virtually excluded from everything. I have seen people so hurt by this that they even leave the org

Was this sort of thing happening in your congs??? Have you had first hand experience of this????

under74

ya, it happened at the congregation I attended when I was a kid and it was one of the things that made me refuse to attend meetings even when my mom begged me.

Golf

As you age in life and get involved in other groups, friends, etc. there's always cliques.

Guest77

upside/down

There's always cliques? True....

What I experienced in the bOrg went way beyond cliques. It was more like "gangs" & "bullies". They didn't just "hang" together due to mutual friendship and so forth, but were on a mission to make as many people as miserable as possible and were cold heartedly calculating in the "mind f*cking" they inflicted on their victims. They were cruel and abusive to everyone they could especially other women and their children.

It was usually a catch 22, because if you weren't living as they would have you live you were "bad association", a term that dehumanizes and justifies any shunning or lack of inclusion in socializing with "the pack."

If you think this is NORMAL behaviour, than you've been in the bOrg too long! Or you're a "gang" member in good standing. They literally drive people away that aren't fake, pretentious and don't "play the game". But they not only drive them away, but send them on their way with a load of guilt and shame for not making the grade, that is many times unbearable.

What I find amusing (and sad) is that I've noticed that if you watch over a long period of time, almost all of these "gangs" implode and self destruct under their own weight. See where family "perfect" is in 10 years, see where bro & sis "brown nose" are in 10 years, see where the "golden boy" Dub youth is in 10 years. Many times they end up turning on their "own". Their perfect little plastic worlds ALWAYS fall apart. Look beneath the surface and you will see some VERY UNHAPPY people, they know it's only a matter of time till they get shredded by theri own and that's why they try to stay "on top" for as long as they can hedging themselves by having the right "connections" for that inevitable day that they fall from grace somehow (it's inevitable with highly judgemental bullies).

The Dub clans remind me of a bunch of pubescent highschool kids, stuck in a time warp. They never grew up and instead "play" adult. The sad thing is is that they've ruined the lives of many families and this I feel is one of their most reprehensible "identifying" traits.

Be glad your out! Never Again!

u/d Insane

Doubtfully Yours

That happens in my congregation. Socio-economic little groups.

DY

pleaseer2001

When I was younger my parents really didn't have alot, my dad worked hard to build his buisness.I felt that their were many in the cong that pushed my family to the side. I noticed it filtered it's way to ones my own age as well. This was one of the things that made me draw closer to people who had nothing to do with the wit.Funny thing is my dad does extremly well now and guess what! They seen to have many more friends in the cong now. Funny i think!

I really dislike the thought!

The JellyBaby

Congregation cliques! and I thought it was just my imagination. It's funny how each one would give you a chance to be part of theirs. If you didnt join in the conversation about so and so....you'd failed your initiation. I must have seemed such an odd-bod at my cong, I couldnt stand that 'He said, she said thing'

iiz2cool

What I experienced in the bOrg went way beyond cliques. It was more like "gangs" & "bullies". They didn't just "hang" together due to mutual friendship and so forth, but were on a mission to make as many people as miserable as possible and were cold heartedly calculating in the "mind f*cking" they inflicted on their victims.

That is an excellent description of the congregations I was in for 20 years. I was not in any of the cliques, and it was hell. Makes me wonder why I did it for so long. I must be stupid or something.

Walter

Dustin

Good topic. I had alot of experiences dealing with that. I was always on the outside looking in. Even though I was a dedicted JW, something was always missing. I never really fit in, never fit the mold. Eventually you become used to it. I stopped going to any witness social gatherings about 10 years ago. I even stopped going to all weddings, because I didn't have to come home feeling like there was something wrong with me. That was a big part of why I eventually left the organization. As for service, I usually went with my family. It was alot safer that way.

Dustin

TheEdge

Yep - Upside / Down, you have it there - remember being at school during games lessons? All the boys were on the field, (or girls when it was Hockey or Netball) and 2 were chosen by the teacher to make 2 teams - in turn they chose from the remaining kids who they wanted on their team ? Ring a bell with anyone ?

congregational cliques

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