Were your parents control freaks?

by Dustin 39 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  orangefatcat

  I also recall my parents would also go through my personal things. As most of you know that I have severe back neck and hip problems. I can say with some assurance that my father would tell me that I walked hunched over. I have a hump (dowager's hump) on my upper back. Its been there since I was young. Anyway he use to get mad at me because he felt I wasn't erect enough. so after school and on weekends he would make me walk with a large telephone directory on my head until I straighten up.

  It was so humiliating to say the least and today had he been aware that I w as born with spina bifida occulta he may have left me alone. As well he accused me of faking every illness so that I could get out of school. Even the day my appendix's nearly burst he said to my mother there is nothing wrong with her and yet I was crawling and rolling on the floor in agony and barfing up tons of bile. My mom told him to take me to the hospital . All the way to the hospital he sad your not sick your just faking it to get attention all the heaving my guts with bile. As soon as we got to the hospital I practically passed out on my fathers knees and a doctor walked by and said what is wrong with her and my dad said her mom thinks it s her appendix's , Right away the doctors examine me and did xrays and emergency surgery. Oh yes I faked it too.

  He had no love or affection for me what so ever.

  Orangefatcat
• 

  Nosferatu

  Orange, that reminds me of my first athsma attack. I had it on a meeting night, and I was faking it to get out of the meeting. My mother threatened me with a beating. Only long after the meeting and when I couldn't lay down to go to sleep is when I was taken to the hospital.
• 

  poipoi

  You know as I have siad before the bible has principals and so there is were indivual can make there desicions. Parents are going on what they believe is what is going to benefit. When one has grown and can decide for them self, the matter shouldn't even be irrelevent. lol Jehovah commands that you respect your parents, so that there is peace, you don't what to be peaceful you want to be peaceable. And really you didn't get to watch some tv shows and so on and so fourth. Way out the balance between that and what privlages you did have. We have to be able to forgive just as Jehovah freely forgave us. I didn't have the greatest discapline but I understand why and the history and what has helped me is appreciation for what my parents have done for me. More and more as every teenger dreamed of freedom and respect I gianed that. They knew that I can handle my responsibilitys and make sound desicions. So with that siad, Well, i'll give a sisterly hello
• 

  Nosferatu

  We have to be able to forgive just as Jehovah freely forgave us.

  I don't have to forgive anybody, and I sure as hell not forgiving Jehovah either. I got SCREWED. I tried putting my burden on Jehovah, but the bastard didn't want it. I was taught to bend over, take a kick in the ass, and Jehovah would kiss it better. That didn't happen. I had to learn how to stand up for myself without Jehovah protecting me. I'm much better off now than I was with Jehovah standing here watching and not doing a damn thing.
• 

  ValiantBoy

  I forgave my parents once they demonstrated remorse and worked to corrct their actions. I mean, that's hwat the congregation says we have to do to be forgiven...so why can't we have the same standards?
• 

  poipoi

  Things do happen to people. Death, lost of loved ones, or being reproved whatever but i see it as a stepping stone to learn and to know that jehovah has put out those princapls and commandments for us to benifit. It is our heart condition. What do we allow in our hearts; or not allow.
• 

  Dustin

  I have forgiven my parents. They did the best they could to raise me, and I am apreciative for that. I just hate the JW religion more than anything for ruining childrens' lives with it's stupid rules.

  Dustin
• 

  kaykay_mp

  it's time for me to wax serious on one of these posts today:

  My grandparents were total control freaks. They had me watched virtually every second of the day, even at school. They knew everyone in the town, and my g-dad was an uber-elder. Anytime I broke a routine, talked to a member of the opposite sex (even if I asked to borrow something), etc.

  I was drving to school one morning and I found a few bucks in the van, so I decided to deviate from my usual route to school to go to McDonald's for a yummy Bacon Egg & Cheese Bisucit (the staple of field service goers in Tennessee). I thought every thing was kosher until I got home from school. Thirty minutes later my g-mom pops in and says, "What were you doing going to McDonald's this morning?" "Oh no, I don't understand, I went straight to school." "No, someone saw you go."

  Son of a bitch.

  And I can remember this other time I went to Wal-Mart to get a pregnancy test (bc I was messing with a worldly boy on the dl, which was eventually found out as well). I managed to get the test home and waited until late at night to take it. Then I put the test with the box deep in the outside garbage can so I wouldn't be found out (results were negative btw). The very next day when I get home from school, my aunt tells me, "so, are you pregnant or not?"

  laters

  kaykay_mp
• 

  orangefatcat

  Poipoi:

  I respectfully disagree with what you have said. The word of God tells us to obey our parents but at the same time God's word tells parents not to browbeat their children or beat them in submission. Respect is a two way street. My parents didn't like anything I did and frankly you have no idea what many many parents have done to their children on this or other forums. Check out this site and read some of the things parents have done to their children. www.silentlamb.com. Read some of the horror stories. It will make you think twice about us condemning our parents and or guardians.

  My grandma was the women who deserves all me deep love and devoition and respect, she was n't abusive in any way. And she wasn't a JW either in fact she was a saint in comparrison to some of parents that professes they were Jehovahs chosen people. She was kind and caring and loving. If some JW parents would have heeded the word of God perhap many young ones wouldn't have left the organization. IMHO. What goes around comes around I say. Some parents aren't meant to be parents. I am not saying we are perfect, but in comparison to some parents who try and control and threaten their children we have good reasons to feel the way we feel.

  Maybe some parents thought they were doing right by their children for the few that did, there are thousands who didn't do right by their treasures. Many have been abused and hurt in ways you may never know. And you say forgive as Jehovah forgives. I don't think so. Jehovah doesn't forgive anyone who destroys the lives of their charges. So dear friend listen before you leap and you will do better not judging us for what decsions we have made in our lives to protect ourselves,and our sanity, mental and emotional health and well being.

  Orangefatcat..
• 

  Dustin

  I think poipoi left. I gave her a verbal lashing on one of my other posts. It was fun.

  Dustin