JW girls and me

by Dustin 46 Replies latest jw friends

  • outbutnotdown
    outbutnotdown

    Upside/down's post just reminded me of something. I got df'd at the same time (sex before marriage) as my, then fiancee. Within six months we had gotten married and she was reinstated. There was one brother in particular that asked my wife out on a date, more than once. (He, and everybody else in the hall knew we were married.)

    I figured the elders should know about this "brother" who would do such a thing as to interfere with a marriage, so I went to the nicest elder I knew at the time and told him.

    To my surprise, he not only knew about it but he was going to do NOTHING about it!!! I was SHOCKED!!!!

    So to answer your question Dustin, yes JW girls (and boys) are very different from non-JW's. When they live in an environment that allows someone to "interfere" in a marriage because the husband is df'd, you can see why.

    Brad

  • Descender
    Descender

    JW girls were very easy to pick up, much easier than most "worldly" girls. They would usually pursue even if I wasn't interested and my mom was always annoyed at the JW girls calling me at all times of the night. And I wasn't even that good of a witness, I went to college, and I wasn't really interested in going to bethel or being an elder. But I was still a bit self-righteous and vain when I was a JW teen and turned down most girls interests if they didn't have good reputations or if they weren't very attractive (I know, I know). My JW morals wouldn't allow me to sleep with them. Now I could kiss and fondle as much as I wanted.

    From my experiences, there were a lot of wild sex-crazed JW girls. I dated super pioneer girls to fence sitters that had mildly bad reputations. Those were some of the horniest girls I've ever met. I remember two twins from another congregation telling me that they didn't mind sharing, they were very persistant, but I stood my (good witness) ground. Plenty of girls, including upstanding pioneers felt me up in private, or under the table at resturants after field service or an assembly. I went skinny dipping with witness girls a few times, and after a wedding my best friend brought a bunch of girls, that were down from Kansas City, back to his apostate brothers house where we all stripped down to our underwear and sat in the hot tub. Then all of us good witnesses (3 of the girls were pioneers) ended up sleeping with multiple partners, although no sex actually transpired.

    Those were strange times. The district conventions were definitely a time to find girls. My friend and I would search out the ones that we thought were most attractive and he'd always introduce us because I was never really that forward. But there were plenty of girls that weren't interested in us once they found out we were baptised. I guess they figured baptised boys wouldn't put out as easily or we might tell on ourselves if we got a conscience tinge. I ended up marrying a bad witness girl, most were. But that didn't end so well either. I advise dating "worldly girls" because they don't have as many pent up issues like a lot of witnesses do.

  • JustTickledPink
    JustTickledPink

    I always thought I was pretty, tried to act nice, but there were only a very few eligible brothers in our circuit, none really in my Hall. So I always got ignored.... so I dated my first "worldly" guy at 18 and boy oh boy he could kiss... There wasn't anything better, and soon I left, not because of worldy guys, but in all honesty, the only single guys around where always so much older, had lots of baggage, etc... I was told to wait until the new system.

  • jws
    jws
    Did any of you other guys always go to the district convention hoping you would find that dream JW girl you had always been looking for?

    Yes, and met several girls there. Problem being they usually lived so far away. I don't know about them being mean - at least no meaner than other girls their age.

    Things were wierd growing up JW and it didn't help give me any social skills for dating. At my hall, asking a girl out on a date was very serious. "Dating is for marriage..." and all that crap. It felt like proposing to even ask a girl out. Couples that started dating and broke up were as scandalous as a divorce. At first, my sex drive was pushing me for marriage/relationship because that's the only way you're supposed to "get some" as a JW.

    After a couple more years of becoming more "worldly" and having relationships with non-JW girls, I wasn't as serious and I found dating girls (JW and non-JW) much easier. In our new hall, once it was known we drank and were "cool", my brother and I were pursued by several girls who weren't giving us the time of day before. All of them, however, seemed to want somebody strong in "the truth". But there 2 different kinds of girls. Some that really meant that. They wanted Mr. Good Guy. Others wanted somebody strong in "the truth", but they wanted them to be a bit bad.

    I think most of the JW girls are pretty much like other girls. Some want to live by religious rules and date somebody just as strict. Others want to have fun and excitement and live a little more dangerously. And it all depends on attraction too. The one thing in common is that most of them wanted to stay JWs. I was the same way from a guy's standpoint. I wanted to stay a JW, but find somebody who could be more fun. Whenever we'd meet girls at conventions, they seemed to be quizing us on how "spiritual" we were. Maybe we took it the wrong way though. Maybe they wanted us to not be so spiritual...

    The problem with the "wilder" ones is that once in a while, they develop a conscience and decide to go to the elders. Or, if you hurt their feelings, they might go to the elders. I wound up on the outs with the "in" group in our hall and I think that was over one girl. She was so hot for me, but I wasn't really attracted to her. But, one night we ended up making out anyway. She was so inexperienced. She was just in a daze, probably thinking "It's finally happening, I found my man, etc.". She wasn't very "active". I avoided her after that and all of a sudden, the whole "in crowd" was marking us. Some of them were confessing their own drinking, etc. Big mess.

    I left the JWs a few years later and stayed single until my early 30's. I married a great non-JW girl. I am SO happy I never really clicked with any of the JW girls I dated. I'd hate to have been stuck in a relationship where I was the "non-believer" mate.

  • poipoi
    poipoi

    It is a serious desicion when choosing a marrage mate. Matter of prayer is needed. Haveing good qualitys and being healthy spiritualy,has to do a lot on the out look on matters; helps in that area. If you have your personal relationship with Jehovah God and putting him above all things we will be apt to look for those who do the same.

  • Incense_and_Peppermints
    Incense_and_Peppermints
    so I dated my first "worldly" guy at 18 and boy oh boy he could kiss

    worldly guys do everything better!!!

  • Balsam
    Balsam

    Let me tell you about my oldest son, raised in the JW till he was 18. Well he started going wayward about 15, and took on the bad JW boy persona. Well up until then the JW girls would not give him the time of day. But once he took on the bad boy, the JW girls came out of the woodwork, calling him, wanting to see him secretyly. Sexually teasing him at meetings, assemblies and conventions. Of course it was not long till they all wanted a taste of him and he of course was thrilled to give them what they wanted. Much to my JW mentality and horror.

    As his Mom I was totally puzzled by these goings on. Of course most of the details I didnt' know till my sons and I all left the witnesses and he told me of his sexual escapades among the JW's. What the heck is the attraction to the bad boys who treat girls with total lack of caring, and just hanging with the worldly guys seem to make them instantly appealing. Here I was warning the girls away from him because he totally had no respect for them or the so called "troof". Its funny now looking back since we are all out. He finally settled on a stripper who knew the JW was never one. He is in his glory I suspect at 21. He better enjoy it now because the hair falling out and the pauchy stomach comes along pretty quick. LOL

  • kaykay_mp
    kaykay_mp

    I never wanted to date anyone in my own congo. Hell, that's what the assembly was for. When we were all teenagers, they were either busy getting all the other JW girls pregnant or dating some rich worldly girl (couldn't blame them!).

    I was all into this guy from a congo 25 miles away, and his sister and I became good friends. Pretty soon we started drifting apart. I wondered why. Since my brother and him were sort of good aquaintances, I asked him to get the scoop on why he was trippin'. My brother came back to me a couple of hours later and said, "he said your butt was too jiggly."

    What a fkkin' jerk. My butt rocks.

    True story!

    "You want something to hold on to, ya know."

    laters

    kaykay_mp

  • freedom96
    freedom96

    I don't think they were much different. People are people, and just because a girl is a witness, doesn't make her automatically become nicer, or a better person.

  • Dustin
    Dustin

    Poipoi, you apparently haven't read many of my posts. First of all thank you for responding,but as far as I'm concerned Jehovah, and his stupid rules can kiss my white ass. I was never one for his dating rules. I think I broke almost every one of them.

    Dustin

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