What was your turning point?

by jeanniebeanz 43 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Gill

  Hi TheEdge. Yes, it was a horrible thing to see and I"ve toned it down a little as well. It shocked my husband who was also there.

  It seems to me that the 'resurrection hope' that the JWs have seem to give some the idea that death should come sooner than later because, what's the point of suffering. You may as well die now quickly, not be a burden to anyone else, and you'll be resurrected in the future. But this lie can fuel cruelty. Every day of a persons life can cease to be valuable. Time spent together doesn't matter because, we should be spending our time serving Jehovah, knocking on the doors of empty homes, getting in our time, for our own personal salvation in the future. Like putting money in the bank.

  Pioneer Sister Wonderful, as evil as I saw her, was also brainwashed an suckered into this crackpot belief system. Her whole family are JWs and she was brought up as one. She has literally given up much meaning to her life by concentrating on pioneering and several extravagant, holidays and cruises a year.

  But she did begin the breaking of mine and my familys chains.

  The WTBTS is cruel. Because it does not value its individual members, their lives, their dignity. It glorys in their suffering as a sign that they , the WTBTS, are Gods mouthpiece on Earth. But the GB do not have to suffer any persecution or suffering like its humbler members. Say anything unpleasant about WTBTS they'll sue your ass off. The most litigious religion that exists.

  So, I went by ' by their fruits you will know them....' and found it wasn't the JWs.

  Now 607BCE finally clinched the deal. No exaggeration but I nearly fell off my seat when I read about that.
• 

  TheEdge

  Gill - have only recently found out about the 607BCE thing - and have resurrected (is that copywrited?) an old thread I found...am amazed that it hasn't been questioned along the way - but I suppose JW aren't that educated generally (discouraged), if they were they could think for themselves. Is looking at History books considered apostate? Must be if History disagrees with the 607 thing - sad.
• 

  Gill

  TheEdge - Yes only found out about 607 BCE last November.

  I always assumed , having been brought up a JW and i believe brainwashed, but I assumed that everything the WTBTS was true even if they couldn't prove it. I still believe though that JW children are brainwashed and victims of the WTBTS as are their parents if their parents were brought up JW. Those brought in are sadly deluded but sometimes only for a while.

  I visited my parents one day and my mother reminded me NEVER to look on the internet at sites on Jehovahs Witness as they were full of apostate sites. I rushed home and straight on the internet. I was sceptical for the first hour or so and then things began to click into place. I haven't stopped reading and posting since.
• 

  The JellyBaby

  Seeing a particular member of the cong. Democratically D'flw, not Theocratically..!..(Get rid of a problem, not deal with it)

  Then as the years rolled by, far too many instances of hypocrisy, favouritism, disunity, emotional blackmail, and damn right dishonesty within the cong. itself.

  Finding out about the UN association.

  Then the night they announced the org was to be a registered charity....Tax evading so and so's...and all the false reasoning that went along with this....'pay ceasars things to ceasar'...Yeah,right!
• 

  larc

  I left many years before the internet or many books were written about the JWs. What did it for me, was reading the early writings of Russell and Rutherford. Those two sure did write a lot of foolishness, and many of their interpretations of scripture were totally different than today. In many ways, it was a different religion, and this led me to have very serious doubts about this religion having God's blessing.
• 

  seeitallclearlynow

  I just read this person's account of what it was like growing up a JW child. Very telling and poignant, as have been many stories told here by others specifically and strictly raised as JWs. I feel for all of you.

  http://www.premier1.net/~raines/hate.html Growing Up in a Religion of

  Hate

  Jerry Bergman, Ph.D.

  
• 

  seeitallclearlynow

  FlyingHighNow -

  There's more, but I kind of figure no one will make it this far into my post.

  I'm with TheEdge, Heather - your story is very interesting and readable. And you're a very expressive woman. I wouldn't halfway read your posts.

  Because of all those Job like events we became irregular and we were dropped like hot potatoes. It was horrible. I kept observing that the elders and certain "strong ones" were just like the Pharisees. They were like the line in the Kingdom song: "Proud hearts that know no pity for the meek(or was it weak?)" We became as liabilities to them and so we were not worth their time or their compassion.

  You really summed it up. Of course, I think there have always been certain people, people who have been through troubling times, who showed more compassion than this. But they were usually "kept in check" so as not to show too much love....(my experience lol)
• 

  FlyingHighNow

  Are you kidding FlyimgHighNow - I could have carried ON reading - if there's more I, for ONE, would love to hear it

  Edge, maybe sometime I'll start writing it all down. Then I'll have to edit it. It will be a loooooong story if I'm not careful. It's just very painful. I ended up getting some amnesia after an illness and surgery in 2000. I hope I can remember the important details.

  FlyingHighNow -

  There's more, but I kind of figure no one will make it this far into my post.

  I'm with TheEdge, Heather - your story is very interesting and readable. And you're a very expressive woman. I wouldn't halfway read your posts.

  Thank you, See. I'm glad that my post wasn't tedious and difficult to fathom. Like I said above. I'll have to write it all down. There's so much to it all that it could be a long story. There are some things in it that are so bizarre, they'll add some much needed dark, but comic relief.
• 

  seeitallclearlynow

  Hi Sugarbritches -

  Hi seeitallclearlynow--- and everyone. You said that the reinstatement is more painful that the disfellowshiping- how is that? I have a friend who is about to be reinstated and I'm just curious. Thanks- Sugarbritches

  Well to me, when you're disfellowshipped, you're in a very different mindset generally than when you're seeking reinstatement. In my case, I was angry, fed up, wanted to be left alone, couldn't care much less about all of it, you know? The peace of not associating, not bothering with all the oh-so-important-issues and -activities was such a relief. But when you decide you want to come back, you're forced into very stressful and degrading "committee" meetings during which these men stare holes in you and decide your fate - will you be considered worthy of being in their wonderful company? Will you be deemed worthy of possibly not being destroyed for being so wicked and worthless? Then, you have to do the little "assignments" they give you to prove you're repentant - and of course, if you're not repentant, it's harder to swallow it and just act repentant and like you don't really still hate your ex-husband. Lol. You might have to write to any whom you've "done wrong", asking for their forgiveness. In my case, I wrote a letter that passed somehow, because I never apologized in it. That was cool. Then you have to attend all the meetings, sitting in the back like a pariah, keeping your head down as you enter and leave, speaking to no one. After several months of this inhumane treatment, it starts to really get to you and you may just cry through most meetings. That alone is humiliating. The more hard nosed elders will go out of their way to make a point of welcoming every single person attending the Book Study at the Kingdom Hall except you. That is so mean and infuriating. You will have to continue to prove yourself for months after your reinstatement in order to regain various little privileges. You're supposed to get them back one at a time basically, and you're supposed to be so humble and grateful. You're supposed to ask for these from time to time. But I never asked once. So suddenly I got them all back at once. Who cares. There will be a stigma attached to you for some time to come, and how bad it is will depend on how much you're liked to begin with. It might also be in your head, depending on your nature. For instance, in my son's case, he felt "dead" while disfellowshipped, and this made me so angry at them for making a child consider himself "dead." But once he was finally, finally, reinstated, he went about his business as it were, completely and utterly welcomed and loved by all. He's a very social person and very popular, so no stigma there. Thank goodness. Anyway, since you asked....
• 

  Jez

  The story of my life at freeminds.org (womens section) is called "Pretending" because that is what I did, my whole life. Looking back, I now believe that I never really believed, if I did, I would not have done 1/2 the things I did. I was in constant turmoil and conflict between what I was told was 'right' and what I felt was 'normal'. Finding JWD just confirmed everything and gave me the necessary facts to support my feelings.

  Teenager life as a JW="how to get away with 'wrongdoing'"ie. boyfriends, drinking, swearing, going to school dances, seeing JW friends very hypocritical and doing the exact same thing, how to get out of meeting attendance and service.

  17 year old teenager="how to survive marriage at 17" Had sex before marriage, felt that to right it in Jehovah's eyes, I HAD to marry him. Biggest mistake of my life. Physical abuse for the next 14 years. BUT cannot leave! MUST maintain the front at all costs. Divorce is not an option.

  Children come along= "how to teach them things I don't believe in" My heart breaking when everyone else got valentine day card except them, embarressed for them, hating not giving them xmas presents, telling them to stand for O Canada, knowing I was not suppose to do that, hiding in my house on Halloween. Meeting other parents and their 'worldy' children and realizing that I am not any better than them or more deserving of life. Looking at their children and thinking OMG THEY are suppose to DIE?!?! This is one of the first times that I really really starting thinking and not just feeling that JW were wrong.

  Age 30= "how to leave a JW abusive man" CANT do it. Even though the elders had a confession at a JC meeting from my ex, they did not df him. I was shocked, I truly believed that they would rally around ME. Not once did they, they wanted all forgiven and forgotten. Well, I did it anyways depite being told NOT to, to stay, one elder saying that "many of our sisters survive through alcoholic husbands" I thought, you idiot, I will never speak to you men about this again, from now on, my decision. I left, I met someone else, fell in love, remarried. After not seeing elders for months, they quickly sought me out and df'ed me.

  I still claimed that I would get reinstated at that time, still thought it might be the truth. Things that changed my mind significantly were:

  *My sisterinlaw's begging plea for me to get reinstated, not because she believes it is the truth and my eternal salvation is on the line, rather so that she does not get in trouble and it makes it 'easier' on her to associate with me.

  *This site opened my eyes to SO MUCH, not just to doctrinal/teaching wrongs, but to THINK for myself. THINK, reason and ask, DOES it make sense? Only through this site did I learn not to blindly accept, rather to question everything.

  *Last but not least, one of the final nails in the WBTS coffin for me was my recent elders meeting. They were in the last chance saloon, and they pathetically failed.

  Love to all Jez