Hi and welcome to the board! Things might be easier for you when you entirely realize they do not have the truth. There are tons of great references on this board.
disfellowshipping
by mamas 17 Replies latest jw friends
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jaredg
mamas,
welcome to the board!!! i too was DF'd and am shunned by my family for the relationship that i am in. both sides of my family are devoute JWs. i feel your pain. things will get better though so look to the future. i hope you trust and love your partner b/c you will have to lean on her for support during this tramatic time in your life. you will always miss your family but remember that they miss you too!! they are just doing what they think is right. in time though things may change. you can alwyas come here for support or if you'd like to talk in person sedn me a PM!
much love,
jared
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mamas
jared,
thank you for your comment. i like hearing experiences from df'd persons. it hits closer to home.
big thank you to everybody for your comments
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orangefatcat
Not until Hell freezes over, Kay Kay_mp .
Welcome Mamas, I hope we can help you with coming to grips with the disfellowshipping. It's a real bummer. Especially when you love your family. I know that it is terribly painful right now, but trust me, with time this pain will ease up. I haven't had any contact with my family since 1999. Just once I took it upon myself to visit my mom when she was sick in the hospital , but she was nice to me and told me she loved me. Thats just dandy, so why do our families ostrasize us. They don't know anybetter, they are brainwashed. The only thing they know is if they go against several men in this organization then they will get the chopping stick too. You see the Organization has only one hold on the witnesses and that is the rules of disfellowshiping. They figure if they put the fear of God into its people, then they will have more obedient worshippers.
I can't understand why our families can't live by that natural law of love. I think it must break them up to some extent that they have lost a family member. But they are being forced to deny the natural law of love for fear of consquences. Thats how they are brainwashed. You can't think for your self. You become robots and yessbots to an organization that uses words that aren't even in the Bible. The biggest con is committed by the Organization.
Don't you for one minute think any less of yourself. You have rights natural rights. Noone has the right to subvert that.
You will read so amazing stories of persons who have overcome the clutches of the WTS. Enjoy the ride. You are entitled to have and be loved and no one can take that away from you as that is a God given gift.
Love Orangefatcat..
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mamas
orangefatcat,
first of all...what a name!! lol....and thank you for your words. they brought tears to my eyes. i know that my fam is deeply devoted to their religion and that is why they are choosing that over me. but thank you.
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Fleur
Oh, 18. You're so young!
I'm a ripe old...well almost twice your age now, not quite! I was 24 when I had my first doubts about the org. and stopped going to meetings, was 26 when I was df'd for divorcing a man who treated me horribly and having a relationship with (then marrying) one who treats me like treasure.
I lost 99 percent of my family and all the people I grew up with. It's so hard leaving when you're born in; and they don't discriminate in shunning whether you leave for a straight or gay relationship; my family has called me horrible, hurtful things like 'fornicator' and 'adulteror' even though I was divorced before getting into a physical relationship with anyone.
The best thing that you can do is build a good support system; among others who truly know how you feel and the road you've walked. I can understand the shunning and df'd part of your story but I know that since I'm straight that I can't claim to understand everything you've gone through.
I hope that you will be able to truly find yourself now; so that no matter what happens, whether you're with the lady you love now for the rest of your life, or if you eventually move on to other relationships, you will know that the one option that you don't have is going back to the organization because it would mean selling out all that you are.
You can make it, be strong. It's not an easy road, but there are others a bit further down who I am sure will open their hearts, and offer their wisdom, to you to help you along.
Welcome to JWD.
hugs
essie
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jgnat
I agree it is not right, but you can't make adults act in a mature manner. It must be awful missing them. Do you have other supports; friends, school mates, that you can rely on for emotional support?
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londoner
Hi mamas,
unfortunatly ther's no quick fix solution, but, if you continue to show your family how much you love them they are giong to feel the same pain of missing you, and in time things may get better. In the meantime you will find more love here than in any Kingdom Hall. No one here will ever shun you, judge you or critise you for who you love.
Love and kisses from all
XXX