JWs and Gnomes

by helios 11 Replies latest jw experiences

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  helios

  Here in the UK we are very keen on gardening and many of our gardens are adorned with various features. But one that stands out to many people is the love many UK residents have for GNOMES. Now you must understand that whatever you read about political trends and devotions to various elected governments the real divisions in the UK are not along party lines. In fact there are only two main groups. THOSE LOVE GNOMES AND THOSE WHO HATE THEM.

  I hate them. There I confess it! I haste their stupid plastic smiles theire idiotic conical hats and their total lack of good taste. I long to attack them with petrol bombs, blow them up

  But I digress!

  There lived in a village a few miles away a JW family. The pioneered, there were the glowing light of example when the CS came. They were always "at the front" It was rumoured the WTS always telephoned them for advice when doctrinal changes were to be made. Some rumoured that light radiated from certain anatomic openings in their bodies.

  So it was I called at the house on day and resolved in my wicked heart to wage war on the garden gnomes. For their garden was bursting with them. I walked passed the army of plastic smiling figures and entered the house. I stll recall the critical moment my attack began.

  YOU HAVE A VERY NICE GARDEN MY BROTHER!

  well yes I do.

  BUT I HAVE A GREAT FEAR FOR YOU FOR I SENSE DEMONIC AGENTS ARE AT WORK

  What.....?

  FOR I SEE IN YOUR GARDEN A WORK OF SATAN........................................GNOMES!!!!!!!

  Gnomes but they are just garden ornaments.

  NOT SO FOR GNOMES ARE DRAWN FROM NORDIC MYTHS AND ARE REALLY EARTH SPIRITS..ELIMEMTALS WHO PROTECT PRECIOUS METALS. SUCH THINGS ARE DRAWN FROM PAGANISM ARE THEREFORE DEMONIC ORIGIN.

  ............................................................................................................................

  A few days later the garden was totally devoid of gnomes and has remained so.

  Deep in some local authority refuse tip they lie.

  Just proves some folk will swallow anything>
• 

  unclebruce

  When I was a kid the Congregation Servant's (pre elder days) wife used to talk to her gnomes and she gradually got worse and started taking thenm inside for the book study .. this was kinda strange because most jws wouldn't touch a gnome with a barge pole .. so anyway there we sat crammed in their front room studying the Babylon the Great book with half a dozen gnomes.. weird family - her son Roger Hein was head of Spanish congregations in Australia and to my knowledge, still resides in Sydney Bethel ..

  unclebruce

  ps: I only got on OK with the one with the fishing rod lol

  pps: I really got over my fear of gnomes when I lived next door to the guy who made practically all the gnomes in Sydney (he taught me how to airbrush)
• 

  Incense_and_Peppermints

  you know, jehovah's witnesses sure miss out on a lot of wonderful things, like gnomes, fairies, pixies, unicorns, harry potters and frog princes, just because they live in a miasma of FEAR.
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  rebel8

  I remember in the 1970s being instructed at the meeting to go home and immediately destroy all Proctor and Gamble products. The WTS had just "learned" that the star and moon logo on their products was a symbol of devil worshipping, which was supported by the manufacturer of the products. When it was later found to be an urban legend, the JWs backpedaled and said, even if P&G wasn't into devil worship, it would be against the rules to have anything in your home that depicted the planets, so they should have been thrown away in the first place.

  Then we were told to cease consuming any candy bars that had nougat in them because the nougat was made from blood. Again, a myth. Then the JWs backpedaled and said, since nougat contained gelatin (does it?), it was better not to eat it. But Jello was allowed. Go figure.
• 

  Satanus

  Unc

  her son Roger Hein was head of Spanish congregations in Australia and to my knowledge, still resides in Sydney Bethel ..

  Does he have any gnomes to keep him company in his little room?

  S
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  chappy

  Have an aunt who, in the process of moving into a new residence noticed that the crossbuck doors looked like a cross. Yep, new (plain) front and rear doors installed that very day before she would move any of her belongings inside. She also refuses to use garden stakes with a cross piece on it. Funny, I reminded her that she called them stakes; just got a strange look from her.

  chappy
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  unclebruce

  Does he have any gnomes to keep him company in his little room?

  I doubt it ..but it'd be fun to put one there
• 

  Sunspot

  ** Gnomes but they are just garden ornaments.

  NOT SO FOR GNOMES ARE DRAWN FROM NORDIC MYTHS AND ARE REALLY EARTH SPIRITS..ELIMEMTALS WHO PROTECT PRECIOUS METALS. SUCH THINGS ARE DRAWN FROM PAGANISM ARE THEREFORE DEMONIC ORIGIN.

  Funny, I must have slept through the lesson on Gnomes.

  I can't recall ever hearing about them.

  **

  you know, jehovah's witnesses sure miss out on a lot of wonderful things, like gnomes, fairies, pixies, unicorns, harry potters and frog princes, just because they live in a miasma of FEAR.

  I agree. I *do* recall when the trend of Unicorns was in full swing, my girlfriend, and elder's wife, had a giant poster of a unicorn on her 7 yr old's bedroom door. I asked her about what the Society said and she got really testy with me and said when the Society puts it in writing---I'll remove it.

  They were SO particualr about everything else (WTS "side" teachings) but this one thing she was adamant about.

  I also remember the P&G nonsense, the hot dogs, candy bars, etc that were off-limits. Sounds like something more out of OUTER LIMITS!

  Annie
• 

  jeanniebeanz

  Welcome, Helios.

  What deep childhood trauma made you so intolerant of Gnomes; do you know?

  Yeah, Witnesses are the most superstitious people I have ever met. Remember coming home from visiting my sister one time, and my *ex* had thrown out all of my pegasus and unicorn figurines, pens, etc., because he was convinced that the reason I was not following his 'spiritual lead' was because the items had placed the house under demonic control.

  Keep in mind, my dad was an elder, and most of the pegasus and unicorn things I'd accumulated had been as a teenager in his household... Superstitious and un-united to boot.

  Jean
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  metatron

  The wiseguy answer would be

  "They're plastic - like you"

  metatron