Did you gain any good character traits as a result of being a dub?

by beebee 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    It's hard to specifically lay anything specifically at the feet of the WTS, because many people have similar experiences, and are nurtured in the same way.

    I learnt a lot at school, that was coloured by the JW experience, and the interest it drew through periods when I didn't want drawing to anyone's attention made things a little difficult. Probably little more than the Hindu or Quaker boys, though. At least I was open enough about my religion that I found out SOMETHING about their beliefs.

    By virtue of my parents having been raised as JWs I was taught to read really early and there's no doubt that opened up whole worlds to me (they didn't stop me reading Greek Mythology strangely enough). I also got an incredible knowledge of the minutia of historic Israel and the ability to yell at the TV Quizes when people miss the easiest of bible questions.

    Probably the "Theocritical Monastry Skull" had the biggest impact on me. I enjoyed giving talks, so it augmented the encouragment of self-expression I got at school. This came up when I was asked to read a part in a book, during English Literature classes. I got great grades in that, especially for interpretive expression (perhaps learnt in part due to my detesting hearing the bible read in a monotone). I got a good idea of certain people-skills (good and bad) just by watching the way the various Conductors would offer counsel. Taking it as the Conductor, later in life, consolidated those lessons.

    But these are mainly life-lessons that I've expressed. What about character traits? How do you tease those out of your experience? Aren't they part genetic, part nurture? How much of it can you attribute to a particular religious upbringing or to the way the various generations of your family have raised the successive generations?

    I guess human beings are walking contradictions, however they are raised.

  • Doubtfully Yours
    Doubtfully Yours

    As a result of having been a JW, I have a very positive outlook in life; I don't complaint half as much as I hear people complaint; I don't hold grudges, and I'm quick to apologize when I feel I've offended someone or I've screwed up a task; I try my very best not to bad mouth anybody else.

    On the other hand, having been a JW has made me very uptight morally. I mean, I can't stand things that other people consider normal, like tattoos or men with earrings and long hair. Also when I see women with a lot of cleavage or skimpy clothing, oh I just cringe horribly inside.

    I must work on this because I'm refusing people based on their outside appearance and that's not good at all.

    DY

  • TheEdge
    TheEdge

    I think I learned the true meaning of Love - after seeing so little of it.

  • franklin J
    franklin J

    ..no

    perhaps some self discipline...but I attribute any values in my life as coming from the way of life my mother and father taught me, not Jehovahs Witnesses.

  • imnottheonlyone!
    imnottheonlyone!

    I am not condoning the way I was raised, but I think it did me a few favors in life. I was out in service since I was born, answering at the Watchtower study since I was three, and giving presentations at the Theocratic Ministry School since I was 7. I think that I was given some advantages among my peers to communicate in a way that was far above my grade level in school and life. I was able to achieve a top ranking in my career without a college degree. I honestly think this can be attributed to the skills and confidences I gained from being forced to participate. Does that make sense?

    I remember a couple of years ago, I watched a trial of a ex-witness, Christian Longo. He had killed his three children and his wife, put them into suitcases and tossed them into the Pacific Ocean off of Oregon. Watching him on the stand, I immediately recognized that he had used the speaking and life skills that had been drilled into him as a young JW to gain an extraordinary amount of trust. He knew how to dress up in a suit, look like a professional, speak fluently (got to love the Theocratic Ministry School) He had embezzled close to $100,000 from various sources. He then killed his family when he was close to being caught. I guess he was really good at lying, I guess that is one trait that JW have in common. It was weird to see how someone used the same advantage I felt had helped me get ahead in life, for embezzling and murder. I guess JW taught us to be "smooth operators".

  • frenchbabyface
    frenchbabyface

    Did you gain any good character traits as a result of being a dub?

    I don't know ... (but I guess it have been were (1) I've learned to read, talk in good manors and from that to write quiet good - I can tell that I haven't learn that at school or part of ... cause I have to go 4 months in Belgium were they talk Dutch of Neederland they didn't even bother to teach me anything they though I was from congo and used me as a monkey at school and then back to france when 3rd of class time was over ... I couldn't follow a damn thing !!! so dreaming was a good deal for me !!!)

    (1) Eddited to add : read from what (the materiel)

  • FairMind
    FairMind

    I believe that being a JW is what moved me from being a very bashful person to one who is confident in speaking to others formally and informally. Giving a speech was something that terrified me in school but the TMS training helped me to overcome that fear. Also, I quit smoking after becoming a JW and I don’t think I would have been motivated to do that otherwise. It is really hard to say how much benefit one gains from a religion as following a different road might have produced similar or greater benefits. Who knows?

    FairMind

  • Odrade
    Odrade

    I can hold my farts for two hours.

  • beebee
    beebee
    I can hold my farts for two hours.

    Odrade, I am laughing so hard....

    To everyone else, yes I recognize how hard it can be to distinquish exactly what we learned and from whom; did we get it from our parents, our friends, or is it just inborn? I can also see where some influences are universal but may be twisted just a bit differently given a background in a specific religion.

    For example, I have a controlling and abusive mother, I have certainly read about many who are similar on these boards, however the dub moms use the religion as their excuse for their behavior and use "Jehober will get you" threats to accomplish their goals. My mom doesn't have that luxury. She just bases her reasons on her personal paranoia (ANYTHING done that she doesn't like, done by anyone was indeed done explicitly to get her) and her internal belief that she alone holds the correct attitude and judgement on anything.

    However some skills may well be more closely linked to the org...ie. public speaking skills. Anyone out there making a good living selling door-to-door? Public speaking has also been mentioned. Perhaps the gift of discretion as well. Surely years of living a double life and protecting those you care about has taught you how to keep a secret, or for that matter, how not to when you want vindication.

    I notice in the few ex-dubs and one current dub in my life a greater tolerance for the differences in others (like race). Of course that tolerance and acceptance is greater in the ex-dubs rather than my friend the current dub, as I found out the hard way that the same tolerances extended to non-witnesses is NOT granted to EX-witnesses....tsk, tsk... Boy she blew me away! I saw a side of her I had no idea existed!

    Anyway..I just wanted to give people a chance to reflect on the positive impact even a negative influence can have and to also gain better insight.

  • one
    one

    Oro,

    But can one say whether he would be the same way had he not been a JW or can we say positively that being a JW TAUGHT him to be this way.

    As far as i know we are mainly a product of our ENVIRONMENT. jW religion is tight environment...

    What this is really is the age-old debate about personality and character and whether such aspects of such are the product of natural/genetic features, social-familial influences or learned from some more external source such as a religion.

    It might be and "old debate" but in general the studies and statistics should be evidence to demostrate what is the MAJOR factor, to show who is wining the debate. In this jw case for most of us, "social-familial influences" can not be separated from the "external" "religion" "source"..

    However, if an ex-Witness, or current Witness, can come to terms with reality--and that reality includes both the truths and the lies of the Watchtower, then what can result is a very centered person, one who is often more mentally and emotionally healthy than many a non-witness or other Christian.

    You can say that again.

    Uncle,

    G'day one, Are you the one from H20?

    Thanks, I did get to do very few posting at H2O but i dont think i used "One" as my id.

    I think there was someone else using "One" at H2O ,

    then when i came to this board (as One) i received a nice welcome that scared me to the point that i decided not to post for more than a year.

    For some reason the "welcome" thread are no longer availble for searching. In it "some" (wt style) insisted that I was the "One" at H2O and insisted that she/he could prove it and implied i owed an apology for some BIG mistake i (One) made.

    Of course your new clean christlike personality (also refered to as 'the mark on ones forehead') no longer wants to associate with worldy people including ones family and friends.

    it worked both ways, I could see that some stopped visiting just because jw relatives no longer enjoy smoking, telling derty jokes, playing lotto, drinking too much, engaging in some other "activities", politics. Therefore jw and nonjw relatives showed differents interest, setting them automatically apart. It also happens with just extreme different political inclinations.

    In fact most long time jw never get adjusted to the "world" and THAT is the main reason.

    doubt,

    I must work on this because I'm refusing people based on their outside appearance and that's not good at all.

    don't feel bad, not that we should "refuse", but extreme outside appearance is a clue to "something" else, usually.

    FairMind

    It is really hard to say how much benefit one gains from a religion as following a different road might have produced similar or greater benefits. Who knows?

    di you say "similar or greater"? statistically (jw) speaking, very low probability.

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