I left the Watchtower *after* I became an atheist, so my example probably doesn't count.
My wife, on the other hand, was always upset over what she felt was hyposcrisy. People would stand on the platform and tell the congregation about love and neighborliness and all that, but then she didn't actually see any. There is an artificial love -- the handshakes and hugs at the Kingdom Hall, the comradarie in field service, the get-togethers -- but there wasn't any actual stick-with-you-through-the-hard-times sort of love that she thought should be there.
Shunning people that are obviously repentant and trying to "return to Jehovah" always bothered her. (And me)
Gina has begun her search for God anew. She's poked into a few churches, read the Bible on her own, discussed other's beliefs with them, and she's coming around to a belief system she's comfortable with.
I told her that I now think the Bible can be used to prove or disprove nearly any doctrine you might want to have, and she seems to feel that's largely true. Even the apostles didn't speak of much doctrine, certainly not enough to fill an "Organized to Accomplish Our Ministry" book. They always focused on Jesus, even saying that if someone comes to you preaching Jesus, he's a good guy. Squabbles about celebrating certain days or eating certain things were discouraged, since they were viewed as of little importance. Let the one that celebrates, celebrate. Let the one that doesn't, not. No big.
I believe that the Watchtower sold us on the idea that there was One True Religion, and then sold us on the idea that they were it. Now that we realize they aren't it, we need to also question whether the "One True Religion" stuff was right. Most people feel that it isn't.
Hope your wife comes to grips with her faith. JW's "faith" is more based on fear than love. Fear of losing your "standing" in the congregation, fear of alienating your friends because they view you as a "doubter", and even fear of being DF'd for apostasy. Conformance is the order of the day. Real faith isn't based on fear. Have her investigate "grace". My wife has gained much comfort from learning about it.
Take care,
Dave
