This is a long post, I dont usually post in these lengths so bare with me. I wrote the following letter some years ago for someone who was battling to see their children, parts of the letter became used in court cases, a lot of info is deleted but I have kept the drift...
Dear ***
I was asked to write to you and share a little about my experience as a Jehovah’s Witness, I hope the following will give a little insight and I hope you will find help from capable people as you pursue the rights to see your dear children.
As a former Jehovah’s Witness(JW) myself I can testify to the way the Watchtower society influences the thinking of young people and installs fear into them. Though I did not become active as a JW until I was 18 yr. old, I actually studied with them and was influenced by them from 7 years of age, reflecting back I can now see clearly how Watchtower leaders were able to cause us to become very distant from our family members who do not become JWs. For instance we were taught that all members of our family who were not JWs would be destroyed at Armageddon, they were ‘Worldly people’ and not part of Gods ‘ Clean organised people’..They were dirty and spiritually dead. God didn’t love them, they had a rebellious spirit!
In conversations and ‘Talks’ delivered at the kingdom hall, we did not here about our loving none JW parents, we heard them called ‘unbeliever’s’ who were not ‘of our sort’
Due to my indoctrination I learned how to view my father as my mothers ‘unbelieving mate’ (or ‘unbelieving partner’) not as my mentor or as my loving father! These terms are always used to describe the none JW husband/wife.
Being so young I had no idea of the battle we had began with my father whom I now know was really a devoted parent. Terminology such as that used by the Watchtower can easily influence young children to become distant from their parents, instead of being termed ‘devoted father/mother’ or simply ‘loving father or mother,’ none JW parents become ‘unbelievers’ or ‘worldly people’ void of any hope and doomed to die at Armageddon. It is hard to run and hug a father or mother who is viewed as being such a bad person, therefore any natural affection is stifled between children and none JW parents. Of course as a child it is difficult to understand why mommy or daddy is going to be destroyed at Armageddon, it’s a terrifying thought and causes horrid dreams, yet we were left thinking that they must be real bad parents, after all, Jehovah wouldn’t destroy anyone who was good.
Thankfully my mother and father were able to live through all those JW years (My mother has now left the Movement) it never led them to divorce, though it caused many arguments between them and a rift in their relationship. I cant even begin to imagine the horror that a divorce would have caused…as a young person I would have had to take my JW mothers side in the ‘child custody courts’ and defend the Watchtower. According to the Watchtower’s teachings all children must defend the JW parent (even if that meant lying to the courts to protect the Watchtowers reputation), either that or the child would be destroyed along with their ‘worldly dad’ at Armageddon. This is Watchtower psychology, its cruel to say the least.
The manipulation doesn’t just reach the home of the child, it also invades their school life. Apart from being forbidden to join in festive lessons (Christmas, Easter, Mothers day, birthdays…etc) JW children are forced to stand outside school assemblies and look different from all the other kids, it is often recommended that a JW parent go into the school during assemblies and sit in another room with their child and study a Watchtower publication, so while other children are probably clapping their hands to a friendly hymn or tune, JW kids are being taught about the dreaded Armageddon and some obscure passage from the book of Revelation!! After school JW children are still not allowed to associate with ‘worldly children’ "We do not want to be friends with the world" they are taught! All other children are called "bad association" and according to the Watchtower "Bad association spoils useful habits" The Watchtower applies this scripture to all children who are not JWS thereby cutting of any normal lifestyle for the JW child! This sort of odd psychology leads to a very isolated life for a JW child. As one author wrote, "JW children are subject to a rather cruel and unusual punishment"
Though I firmly believe that Jehovah’s Witnesses have the rights to choose their own religion, I also believe that the law and none JW people should have the right to investigate the Watchtower and speak out against the manipulation that it enforces on kids and even adults. I left the Watchtower when I was 27 yrs old, I feel my younger life has been stolen from me by a multi-million pound organisation, I did not have a normal view of family life because of earlier Watchtower indoctrination and therefore I believe children suffer greatly when one or the other of their parents become Jehovah’s Witnesses.
It doesn’t stop there, if the child reaches teenage years (If he survives the blood issue), and decides he/she doesn’t want to be a Jehovah’s Witness, he/she will lose every JW family member and every friend made during the years of growing up. I know this first hand as I was not allowed to see my own grandmother before she died. She being a JW left her with no choice but to shun me because I had left the Watchtower movement, in addition to this I often see my JW relatives in town, none of them have spoken to me for over 9 years now, the reason for them shunning me is simply because I left the Movement…a difference of opinion is simply not allowed in the Watchtower. Not one JW who I grew up with will say a greeting to me or acknowledge my existence simply because I decided that I no longer wanted to be a JW.
I wish now that people would take notice of the damage the Watchtower causes for children and teenagers alike, perhaps in your plight someone in authority will stand up and say "enough of this" the public need to be educated. I believe in religious freedom but not in the lies, manipulation and mental abuse dished out upon children by the Watchtower…I will never understand why governments protect these movements on the ground of ‘religious freedom’ and yet do nothing to help and protect the victims of such movements.
Children should be allowed to have normal family relationships and not be kept from their fathers (or none JW mothers) simply because they have decided not to become JWs, the law should be enforced here at any cost.
I am glad that I now have a normal relationship with both my parents, this simply would not be the case if we had remained Jehovah’s Witnesses. My regret is that my father had to cope with the changes that the Watchtower brought into his home and no one stood up to help him when the Watchtower caused his world to fall apart.
We are thinking of you as you try to combat the Watchtowers hold over your children and shatter the Watchtowers illusion that all none Jehovah’s Witness parents are a product of ‘the devil’! If there is anything we can do to assist you then don’t hesitate to ask.
Take good care
Keep in touch
PS, an update... a little over a year ago my mothers unbelieving mate died a terrible slow agonising death, the last time I looked on his suffering tired face I didnt see a worldy unbelieving man but the devoted look of a true loving father who had proven to his children that over the years and through every circumstance, love never dies, even when the body is faced with death. He was my dad, If I am never to see dads face again, then any hope I have is hollow.
I probably wont ever come back to this thread, I need to bury this stuff, but if it helps anyone in their understanding of what the WTS can do to a young mind then it serves a purpose, and if you are a dad/mother facing similar to what mine did, then I am sorry for you :(
Brummie