Adam will turn 30 soon!

by PopeOfEruke 19 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • PopeOfEruke
    PopeOfEruke

    So, according to the great minds at Watchtower, and you all know we can trust them, Adam was created in October 1, 4026 BCE (morning or afternoon?) and he had a 6,000 anniversary in 1975. Correct?


    And Eve's creation would have marked the end of the 6th Creative day, correct? So there is an unknown period of time where Adam was alone, counting animals. before Eve was made.


    So that means this coming October 1, Adam will have been alive 30 years doing nothing, he couldn't even pick the fluff out of his belly-button.


    He's been counting lions, elephants and rabbits for 30 years all alone, watching them play, mate, have babies...... and he's got no partner.


    Man, his right hand must have been sore! Happy Birthday Adam!


    Pope

    PS I wonder if the sheep were scared of him?

  • Beck_Melbourne
    Beck_Melbourne
    Adam will have been alive 30 years doing nothing, he couldn't even pick the fluff out of his belly-button.

    What belly button ya noddy!!

    watching them play, mate, have babies

    I can't think of anything more erotic then watching dogs mounting each other and getting knotted together - yeah real sexy

    Hello Pope you son-ova-gun!

    ~Beck~

  • PopeOfEruke
    PopeOfEruke

    Beck,
    Forget about the belly button, how could Adam resist this beauty??

    Pope

  • Justin
    Justin

    OK, it's time to set a new date. After all, isn't 30 the age of maturity - the age when Jesus was baptized and when a priest could begin serving in the temple? Spread the word.

  • Preston
    Preston

    I wonder what Freud would think of Pope of Eruke's hat?

    - Preston

  • RunningMan
    RunningMan

    Back in the old days, whenever they had a chronological gap to fill, they used a "tarrying time". I believe it was based on the length of time between Jesus birth and the start of his ministry - 30 years. That's how they got from William Miller's failed 1844 prophecy to the date when Jesus invisibly sat down on his throne (the first time) in 1874.

    So, expect great things when Adam's tarrying time is up.

  • IP_SEC
    IP_SEC

    A brief history of the world according to IPSec

    I hope this is dogmatic and speculative enough for you

    If Jezzus Chrass had to correspond to Adam, then Adam was 30 when Eve was created (he could then begin to do gods will). Jesus was 30 when he began his life to do god's will (baptism) adam & Eve must have sinned 3.5 years later thus ending any possibility of perfect kids. Jesus died at 33.5 thus ending any possibility of having perfect kids of his own. That?s how we get saved because Jesus gave the right he still owned to have children to god so it could be applied to us.

    So... 1975+30= 10/1/2005 for the end of 6k years of rest.

    Now the wt says that each day was 7k years. Bullock! (did I use this word right?) The bible says a day is 1k years with god not 7k. Therefore

    3996 god enters his rest with the creation of Eve.
    3993/2 they sin
    2996 god exits rest and gets ready for a flood as a new work (New week begins)
    1996 god gets to know Abrahman and creates a new covenant (end day 1)
    996 (end day 2)
    5 AD god creates a new being in the womb of a virgin (end day 3)
    1005 AD (end day 4
    2005 AD The Big A comes with enough time for 1000 years of healing to get man ready for the next Sabbath since they missed the first one (end day 5)
    3003/4 The final test.
    3005 enter the second Sabbath since creation. (end day 6)

    3005 begins day 7

  • ezekiel3
    ezekiel3

    Cute IP.

    Doesn't this suppose that the creation account happened in a mere 6,000 years??? I don't think so.

    It doesn't matter, your dates make more sense than JW's do. Can I join your religion?

  • IP_SEC
    IP_SEC

    Yes but I'm sure that a little research would reveal that the Hebrew word for day in genesis is different from Ps 90:4. The genesis days were millions of years, but since man's creation each day is 1000 revolutions around the sun.

    Please send your one time membership dues of 666 dollars to:

    IPSec Ministries
    #7 Gentile Times St
    Babylon TX 144000

    We only disfellowship for apostasy. Oral sex is mandatory.

    IPSec

  • ezekiel3
    ezekiel3

    Trying to write the check and LMAO at the same time

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit