who here has gay children?

gotcha

...is it ok? did you try to stop them? (please consider coming from a very conservative background/culture)..relatives/friends talking about it, possible trauma which may be caused by society's discrimination...

Big Tex

If my son, or daughter, were gay I'd love them every bit as much. I would want them to be happy, and if they found happiness with someone, I wouldn't give a damn if that meant they were gay or straight.

Chris

kls

Okay now i see why the other post. Let me see if i am right ,,,,you just found out your daughter is gay am i right?

gotcha

i wish i could divulge more information...if you have some time to discuss more about this issue please pm me. thanks very much. hoping that others who find themselves in this kind of situation please pm me.

AlmostAtheist

We're in a society that's more open and tolerant than ever before. Challenging concepts are going to be discussed openly. Teenagers can't help but ask themselves, "Am I gay?" Moreover, the sexual experimentation that comes with being a teenager (caressing, petting, not all-out sex necessarily) may play itself out in some "gay experiences" without the person actually being attracted predominantly to the same sex. So if your daughter found herself in a situation where she kissed another girl, or thought about it strongly, or simply wanted to, she may be asking herself (and you), "Am I gay?"

But that doesn't mean she is. She may simply be experimenting, learning, testing, wondering.

Don't shut her down. "Don't you dare think that!" is a sure method to shut her up around you, frustrate her, make her feel guilty, do everything bad without actually helping her sort anything out. (Not that it sounds like you're doing that.)

"Gay" isn't "bad", and more and more research suggests that it's a physically-based trait. Left-handedness used to be looked upon as a problem that needed to be "cured". Maybe in 50 years, homosexuality will be viewed like left-handedness.

This must be strange and frightening for you. I have my 5-month-old daughter in my lap asleep right now. Get back to me in 15 years and let me know if my great advice worked! ;-)

Take care, good luck, and in the end don't sweat it too much. There isn't a wrong answer.

Dave

gotcha

maybe the society you're in is more tolerant but where im coming from is not...and will maybe take a long time before considering gayness as not something bad...but again question is who here has gay or bi children...? how did you cope with and how did your children come out to you..?

AlmostAtheist

Gotcha,

Here's a web site that might be helpful for you: http://www.bidstrup.com/parents.htm

The page says, "My Child is GAY! Now What Do I Do?" across the top.

It's not as useful as a forum for directly answering your questions, but it may contain something useful that you can bring back and discuss here.

Hope it helps,

Dave

holly

Hi

My ex husband is gay, now living with his partner and we are very good friends. we grew up together, got married young, had a child, then in our early 20's he told me he was gay. he had known from being a young teenager but thought it was just a phase he was going through, so married me to try and push it away. it didnt work.

you have to let your kids choose their own path and support them whatever they choose. well thats how i feel anway. My ex husband who has been living with his partner now for 15 years, says it is not an easy life, even in this day and age of acceptance. he loved being a family man and lost all that, which he will always regret. said he always wanted to fit it and now, much of the time, he doesnt, which makes him sad.

but he accepts who he is now and gets on with it - but he wishes things could have been different.

m0nk3y

Hi gotcha, I am gay and you are welcome to talk to me about anything you would like I will alway give an honest answer even if it is frank. Can I just point out that despite being in an environment which it is hard to be gay, it is still important that we are who we are, a lesson I learnt the hard way. Here is my story if you care to read it.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/54814/1.ashx

It isn't that hard to be who we are. It's harder to hide who we are. If you aren't yourself then why be here ? It's ok to be gay Kisses

Love Josh

JustTickledPink

My best friend has a gay daughter, she said she knew when her little girl was about 6 years old because she never was interested in anything girlie at all... and although the subject was never discussed when her daughter was about 16 she made it perfectly clear she was interested in girls only. My friend said she never did anything different that she didn't do with her other daughters, teach them about safe sex, morality, pregnancy, etc... never told her that her choices were wrong or right, just taught all her children to be responsible when it comes to sex. All her children were loved and accepted exactly the way they came out. She also has a deaf daughter, she didn't teach her that something was "wrong" with her just because she couldn't hear... it's the same principle. Just because you are different, doesn't make it "wrong" .

I think being raised JW as I was, that some JW parents really harp on sex being wrong and you grow up with different sexual hang ups, weird ideas that masturbation is wrong, or your thoughts are wrong and you end up with unecessary guilt. I can't imagine wanting to do that on purpose to any child, whether the child is gay or straight. Your job as a parent is to raise them up to be kind to humankind... according to the golden rule. It's no one's job to instill guilt, condemnation, judgement, etc on a person.

who here has gay children?

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