dats MS BIATCH to you gumsumbitch........... harumph pass me da big fatty, willyaz?
Jewish sperm had mostly males in it.
by gumby 32 Replies latest watchtower bible
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Carmel
Abraham also had a son by Katura!
carmel
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FlyingHighNow
I haven't read this thread yet. Some sharp lady probably already said it. Oh well, here goes my response to your thread idea:
Think of all those lucky Jewish ladies with all those extra men running around. That must have been cool having to beat them off with a stick. You'd open the door and see a line snaking down the block and around the corner. It would go something like this: (Knock on the door.) Oh hi guys. Gosh, so many men, so little time. Well, tonight I only have the patience for one of you. (Mass sigh of dissapointment) Let's get down to business. Jedidiah, hhhmmm. No. Oberdiar, ummm no. Zorkerdeader. Uh definitely a BIG NO..... (They all walk away, dejected. Heads hanging low. Bottom lip poked out. "Bummer, man.") Finally, here comes Tom of the Jones tribe. (He really looks and sounds just like Tom Jones, even does the hip action for your approval) *Swoon* (Grabs Tom by the arm and jaunts off down to local restaurant and theater. Later there's a late night walk under the stars way up on the hill with the sheep.......Ah, romance in the golden olden days of Israel.
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gumby
Tom Jones? TOM JONES? !!!!!!!!!
Oh gawd Heather.....at least you coulda said Paul Anka or someone. Tom Jones expects ladies to throw their underwear at him ya know? Can you imagine 100 or so desert dwellin jewish babes throwing their underwear at poor Tom......why.....it would prolly kill the poor guy! pa...huuuuuuue
Gumby
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FlyingHighNow
Oh gawd Heather.....at least you coulda said Paul Anka or someone. Tom Jones expects ladies to throw their underwear at him ya know? Can you imagine 100 or so desert dwellin jewish babes throwing their underwear at poor Tom......why.....it would prolly kill the poor guy! pa...huuuuuuue
Gumby
Noooooooooooo, not Paul Anka, Gumby. Paul Anka wrote that disgusting song You're Havin' My Baby. He wouldn't have lasted 3 seconds at my door. He's a major dork. Majorrrrrr.
Now, I don't think Tom EXPECTS the panties or anything like that. He's very happily married to his childhood sweetheart.(For real) Besides, Gumby I'm not sure Jewish Babes really wore underwear per se. I think they had those long sheet thingies that wrapped around them about thirty times. And remember, there wouldn't have been 100 or so Jewish babes watching Tom because they all woulda had their own snaking lines of suitors. But Tom would have been in my line.
Heck, if I had been a Jewish Babe and Tom Jones had showed up in my line of suitors, I think I'd have skipped the long sheet thingy. You know what I mean?
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FlyingHighNow
Hi Stinker....if your correct, that would make the bible a lie ya know?......... and all the other books that put men before women in this manner.
Let's face it, with straight men, the real power in this world is the vagina. Those holy book writers just can't stand the power that this one little part has over them. (Oh, and don't forget the boobs!) So they make up all these religious books and laws dominating women and keeping them subservient. They fear that without these books, women will run down to the local toy store in hoards to replace their men. Then get jobs, run for political office and annoying stuff like that. Then they'll stop making the morning coffee and washing men's socks. They'll start making laws that liberate women. Then it won't be so easy for the men. They'll have to hire maids. Like Neil Young says, "A man needs a maid. Just someone to keep my house clean, cook my meals, then go away." They'll have to start looking at porno and going to strip clubs and taking care of their own business because the ladies will be hip to their jive.
Here's another thang: men like their women perty. Women don't look so perty with black eyes and teeth missing. It's also a major inconvenience to visit the wifey in the village stocks. So hey, some major genius came up with a novel idea. Let's tell women that GOD wants us in charge. Let's scare the pants off them (literally.) We won't have to beat them into submission. We won't have to arrest them for disobeying us. They'll control themselves because they'll be skeered that GOD, we'll tell them GOD is a dude, will burn their perty little a$$es forever in hell if'n they don't obey us.
The genius' friend said, "Hell, I think we should at least give it a try. Ya never know. It just might work." And it did.
Why do you think those Muslim nations are so scared of being westernized? They don't want their women getting wind that GOD is not necessarily a dude and that GOD really doesn't blame women for the world being in such crappy shape. Their women might get the idea that the Koran is possibly a bunch of bogus bull ca ca. Then those women might start showing up in public with their faces showing. *Shriek!*
All that said and done: I like men. I love men. I think men are just adorable and precious. It's jsut real cute when even the "hip" guys let those holy books influence the way they view women. Gosh, darn it. Men, it's just nice having them around when you need someone to blame the seat being up on.
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jeanniebeanz
nealy ever instance of a birth mentioned in the bible was a boy?
Women do not matter to most zealots. Never have, never will.
Jeannie
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kaykay_mp
ey, bisous bitch doll. i get wot your sayin bitch.....but peoples ave to know why da bible is writtun by geeza yous check? it is a massiv thang if your goin to elp them sista.......you dig wot me is sayin?
Gumayayayay
It's a funny thing: I'm black (well, mostly), and I didn't understand a single word of this. laters kaykay_mp
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Big Tex
Well since the Bible was written by penis people, and in a society that valued penis people far more than non-penis people, it's not surprising that they would ascribe to God their thoughts and values.
The Bible is more about beliefs, than facts and the choices we make about which belief to subscribe to helps define who we are.
I for one cannot believe in a God who loves penis people more than non-penis people. I see God as inclusive, not exclusive.
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xjw_b12
Big Tex. I'm confused. Is this a penis or a non-penis person?