A short while ago, Maximus and a few others were discussing the ethics of tying to influence another regarding their belief system. Many came down on the side of caution, if not downright abstention. If a person lived in a vacuum, I might be inclined to agree. In fact, most of the time, I do agree, and it is not often I bother trying to engage another in a conversation or debate about their belief system or religion. Frankly, I believe most people are literal sheep and just want a nice easy and comfortable place to go, where they don't have to make decisions for themselves, and where they can avoid responsibility and conflict. So most believe as their parents and family do, and never question what they've been taught or the group into which they've been inculcated.
But none of us live in a vacuum. We almost all have friends, family, coworkers, acquaintances, and/or some type of social circle. We spend time with these people and interact with them, and we all interact in some way with society at large and the world as a whole. As part of various social groups, our belief system is going to affect the way we view the world, how we interact with the world, and who we choose to interact with. It can shape the decisions we make regarding education, career, medical treatment, and much more. Our belief system is, in effect, the lens through which we view the world.
Some belief systems and/or the organizations that sustain them can be harmful. There are a plethora of such systems and organizations. Most people on this board were members of just such an organization.
But determining the relative good or bad of a religion or organization is a difficult and highly subjective thing. Thankfully we now have a lot of information and resources to help with the process, but it's still a difficult and daunting task.
For a interesting article regarding "Sowing the Seeds of Doubt," see the following article that I believe Kent of JanH already posted:
http://secularsouth.org/show.php?column=facts_for_thought&story_id=19
Even more difficult still is determining if changing someones belief will, in the end, result in a greater good for that person. I remember as a child in middle school, receiving visits from former drug addicts who had given up their habit due to the proselytizing efforts of a conservative Christian group. Listening to their testimonies, I could only think that they'd given up one addition for another; their dependence on drugs had been replace with a dependence on religion. Where these former drug addicts better off? I think they were, but I believe they could have been better still with a more balanced perspective.
Anyone thinking of trying to change anothers beliefs has much to consider: Will a greater good be done? Are they trying to change the person's belief out of a sincere desire for the other person, or from an ego-driven desire to prove themselves right? Is there some sort of support system to help the person through the transition should they need it? Can you offer the person the tools, people, help, skills and so forth to make a decision for themselves regarding what they want to do after finding error in what they currently believe or to help them form new views? How will changing the persons beliefs affect their social circle and their relationship with family? Is the person capable, intellectually, emotionally and pschologically, of dealing with any adverse effects from friends, family or society at large that may occur due to evolving or changing beliefs? Are you sure their belief system is really that bad? Who are you to change another's cherished beliefs?
These are not questions easily answered, and this is where my hesitation comes from. As humans, we all grow and change throughout our lives. We mature, we learn, we experience life in all the many ways it manifests itself to us. But none of us knows all or has all the answers. Some of us need to learn the hard way, while for others a simple illustration will do. Some learn quickly, while others take longer. Part of life is this process. By trying to influence another persons beliefs without their having asked, you may be interrupting their natural progression and growth as a human being. You may be causing them problems with friends, collegues and family. No one can possibly know exactly how our efforts towards changing someone else will turn out. In some areas the answers are fairly clear cut, but when it comes to religion and belief systems, the answers are not so clear cut.
My personal situation does not allow me the luxury of just being and let be. My wife is a JW. We have a child together. Therefore, I have to think not only of my wife's well being, but my son's as well. I can see the harm my wife's beliefs do to her -- the emotional, pschological, intellectual and social dependence the organization creates in her, the irrational fears and phobias that plague her, the intolerance towards others, and the secondary ways these manifest themselves (nervousness, depression, panic attacks, reluctance to engage socially with those not of her kind, an inablility to make decisions for herself, and more). But given that alone, I hope she would, on her own, come to realize the role her belief system plays in this. I am not a pschologist and therefore unqualified to evaluate how best to help her. Being emotionally involved with my wife, further disqualifies me from making certain decision regarding her well being; It's often difficult to separate oneself completely in an unbiased way to help another when you are personally involved with the person. For that reason, it is unethical for doctors to treat members of their own family.
There are probably many others like me. I have to weigh the good of my wife, along with the good of my son, not to mention my own good, and try to find some sort of balance that does the least harm and the most good. It's not an easy task by any means. However, as my wife doesn't live in a vacuum, and her participation with JWs does our relationship harm, and will do harm to our son if he is indoctrinated, I have been forced to make a determination about whether I will try to influence and change what my wife believes.
In my best judgement, she needs to change her belief system for the greater good of our family. If we didn't have a child, my decision might be different. For while I am an object of her intolerance, even though she doesn't realize this or admit it to herself, my options are many without our child and I am capable of finding my own way through life. I don't need my wife's approval, even though I hope I have it on some level.
My son is another story. He is still very young and entirely dependent upon my wife and I for all his needs. As well, as a parent, I believe it is my duty to prepare my son as best I can to be an independent human being, to give him the necessary skills and abilities to allow himself to find his way in the world, and to provide the means to do so. It isn't my duty to inflict my own personal viewpoint, opinions and prejudices upon him, but rather to allow him to develop his own while being there for him when he fails, and to help him up when he falls.
I have, in a way, been forced to take a morally abiguous decision to try and help my wife to change her views. It's something I would much rather avoid, but something I've been forced to confront by circumstances, circumstances I am partially responsible for, as I will be responsilble for whatever comes form my efforts.
CPiolo
The worst vice of the fanatic is his sincerity. -- Oscar Wilde