My kids are all grown but I do have grandchildren and the answer to your question is NO WAY !
Do you let your dub relatives watch your kids?
by avishai 25 Replies latest jw friends
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FreudianSlip
Yes I would absolutely let my JW parents and brothers watch my children (when I have them). In fact, if I ever move back home, I hope that my mother will be my children's daytime caregiver when I am at work. I certainly trust her far more than strangers, she raised me well. Since I don't want them indoctrinated in the JW belief system I will simply require that my family not take them to JW meetings or in field service nor talk to them about religion. It's not a big deal. If they don't follow those simple rules then they will only see the children while supervised. My family is not sneaky nor would they disrespect me as a parent. Besides all that I don't feel like my religious upbringing was some horrifying experience and even if my children learn about the JWs I already plan to have an open-minded, humanist foundation for them to build on. Most often grandchildren open the relationship back up. Yes, some parents are stupid for cutting off their children, but most of us followed the exact same belief system until we were given a good enough reason to bend and then eventually break the rules. Grandchildren can be a way to regain what was lost.
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Aphrodite
I think it depends on the situation. I trust my MIL not to preach to them, my FIL is a grumpy old bugger who would only turn them off of religion anyway. I do not trust my mother though. She's a died in the wool 2nd gen witness. Now that she won't speak to me she will not see them, if she comes back onto a more even footing as she does from time to time, then that will be OK.
Mostly though I am teaching my kids to have analytical, critical thinking skills. To see the sides of every story and not to take anything someone says as fact, but as their opinion and to do their own research.
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carla
Fruedianslip, you really need to read these boards for a few years if you think you can trust your family with your children or that they will ever honor your wishes re: jw's. Story after story after story of grandparents who covertly try to indoctrinate grandchildren. That's if the grandparents even want to waste their time meeting these grandkids who will never make into the 'new system'.
I can count the times my husband has been alone with our kids since all this jw crap started in my house. Those few times only include short distances in the car to get a movie or something. Each and every time I give the same advice to my kids, 'don't let him preach at you'. Because my jw has acted in such slimy, disgraceful, dishonest, and unethical ways attempting to indoctrinate my family members nobody leaves their kids alone with him. If he is seen even walking with a niece or nephew someone is quick to go join them to moniter his activities. It's a real shame because he used to be the fun uncle. He cannot be trusted nor can any jw, ever. I don't care what you have to give up to protect your kids from the potential physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental abuse the jw's hand out on a daily basis, never ever leave a child with a jw. Sometimes you have to put your career, a fun night out, and even your life on pause to protect your children. No babysitter is worth the very life of my child.
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Happy Harvester
Hell, No. Not any more.
My mom had to put a hatchet through the bedroom door when she was fighting with Dad over controlling my daughter (or something) before I finally began to come to my senses and realized they are just as crazy as their religion.
No need to expose my kid to anything crazier than me.
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FreudianSlip
Carla- I have been df'ed for 7 years and was a very prolific poster on this for years so I know many of the stories. I'm not a "newbie" in the traditional sense. Still, everyone is not the same. My parents and I have a strained relationship and I made it more strained by moving out of state. My mother is eager to become a grandmother and she's never been pushy to me about returning. I've already told her my rules about contact with my future children and she has agreed. She will not take the chance of not seeing her grandkids, especially since I am the only married child and the most likely to have any kids soon. Also, like I said before.. if she did pray with them or read them Bible stories, it wouldn't be the end of the world. My experience as a JW was not horrifying. This is a bit dramatic, "I don't care what you have to give up to protect your kids from the potential physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental abuse the jw's hand out on a daily basis, never ever leave a child with a jw. Sometimes you have to put your career, a fun night out, and even your life on pause to protect your children. No babysitter is worth the very life of my child." I did not have ANY of these experiences as a child of a JW couple. My parents were NEVER abusive in ANY fashion. I'm sorry that you have gone through that. I was raised by my parents, not you. They in no way abused me and I have no reason to believe they will be less of a grandparent because they are JWs. Also, I believe in the benefit of the doubt. If my kids come home asking about Jehovah I'll sit them down and explain things, then I will give my parents an ultimatum. I used to be a JW, apparently some around hear have forgotten how they used to feel about the df'ed and da'ed. My parents are the victims of a form of brainwashing and although they haven't treated me the best way in the past few years, I DO understand.. I used to shun people too.. even close friends. So, if they want to see my kids, I think it will benefit all parties involved. My in-laws are Muslim and they are very good parents. I'd let them watch my kids too.