You too?
How many of you were nervous?
by Confusedgirl 23 Replies latest jw experiences
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LittleToe
Gill:
Watch what you're doing with that tongue, missy. That could earn you a private reproof!
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Gill
Ooooh! Is that a threat or a promise?
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whyamihere
Being a JW is all I have ever known. I feel so lost, empty, guilty, alone and uneasy. I know how you feel. It has only been about 7 months when I chose not to go back anymore. It gets better then it gets worse and then better. I am still standing my firm ground and not going anymore because of certain issues. I am still learning and seeing how things go along as I continue not to go. I feel for you it is not easy. All I can say is that there are so many here that know what you are going through and have gone through it. It helps to talk it out because we understand. We have been in your shoes and understand. I hope for you it will get better and that you truly follow your heart to whatever it may lead you to. Good Luck
Brooke WI
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AK - Jeff
Don't underestimate how long it can take, though, nor harden your mind to what twists and turns it may career through.
Life is a rollercoaster, and meant for living...
Thanx for that LT - right on spot. I left with no illusion of ever going back, right at a year back. Though the doubts were festering for years before. One helpful x witness that I emailed suggested taking two years to let your mind rebound, while soaking in the facts of what you see in the organization.
It has been a year+ now, and the folks here have been a real help.
I agree with LT [at least I think he said it] - don't let God out of the picture, but stepping away from anything 'organized' has helped me. Just this week I started feeling drawn to a little country church 5 miles down the road. It may take a few more weeks, but I feel destined to draw up my courage and step thru the next phase.
This thing is a journey - not a moment. Welcome to the ride.
Jeff
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franklin J
yes; been there, done that.
Good news is that it is expected and natural given the evironment you are trying to get out of. Bad news is that you have to go through it ( but it will end). Everyone reacts differently to this sort of thing. I was a bad case.
I spent 2 years in therapy trying to screw my head on right after the emotional mess I became when I left that religion. Disowned by every friend I had.
But it can be done and we do move on to better times!
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prophecor
Don't underestimate how long it can take, though, nor harden your mind to what twists and turns it may career through. Life is a rollercoaster, and meant for living...
You may feel overwhelmed from time to time, the information requried to de-activate yourself from programming is often a difficult pill to swallow, much like that awful tasting medicine taken when we had an infection, it will cause you to feel better in the end, however.LT, I like what you said regarding concentrating ones focus on God as well, re-establishing a relationship with him as ones primary focus, though I cannot help but stress the importance of being informed as to the available literature, if nothing else at least reading Crises of Conscience, that's what was needed for me, though I try not to speak for anyone else.
I needed it to take down the wall of disillusionment, brick by brick as I was so pre-conditioned to believing that the WTBTS was the embodiment of God in the form of man run religion, imperfect men running the organisation, but still ultimately run by God. It took incredible amounts of energy to break down this belief system.
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Jaypeeto
Even after being DF'd 22 years ago, for the first four years afterward I would vehemently defend JWs and their beliefs to any of my friends who ridiculed them. Imagine! Standing up for an organization that had expelled me and shunned me. Then I read Ray Franz's CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE and lost my faith in the JWs. So I hung with the Mormons for a few months, and then left them too. At that point I started reading the New Testament by itself, came to the conclusion that historic Christianity was really true after all, and was baptized a Presbyterian in 1990. I was received into the Catholic Church in 1999 and finally feel "at home." But yes, leaving the WT, emotionally and mentally, can be very frightening and lonely. Keep your chin up!! Love, Jaypeeto
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AK - Jeff
Prophecor said;
LT, I like what you said regarding concentrating ones focus on God as well, re-establishing a relationship with him as ones primary focus, though I cannot help but stress the importance of being informed as to the available literature, if nothing else at least reading Crises of Conscience, that's what was needed for me, though I try not to speak for anyone else.
I needed it to take down the wall of disillusionment, brick by brick as I was so pre-conditioned to believing that the WTBTS was the embodiment of God in the form of man run religion, imperfect men running the organisation, but still ultimately run by God. It took incredible amounts of energy to break down this belief system.
I agree entirely - I have spent sooo much energy getting that illusion disassembled! I have read everything I could get my hands on - I recognized the need to import a variety of opinions and ideas into a mind that had been solely dominated by one source - the WTBTS. That is not to say that I accept all or even sometimes much of what I have read by certain authors - but it has helped me to 'open up' my worldview and get prepared to meet a world of ideas and philosophy that I never knew.
Kinda like a new birth -at the ripe young age of 50! But the journey has been worth all the work.
"Bondage seems acceptable until you glimse through the bars a free world." Jeff
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PrettyRed
OHMYLANTA!!!! DH you hit the nail on the head.
I mean honestly who wants to live forever?
and how do they know its a wicked world if they are "no part of the world?"