That situation is found in a cult.
Do You Miss Any Of Your JW Friends???
by minimus 64 Replies latest jw friends
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Sassy
I totally disagree with the idea that those who would not stay our friends even though we exited the borg were not really true friends and.... those that stated that should know better.
The fact is.....when someone who cares for us or loves us shuns....is not because they do not love us, miss us, think about us, and long to see us agin.......it's because they truely believe it's wrong in gods eyes to do so and in the long run it will benifit them to obey. Their brainwashed....remember?
Do you honestly think that a mother or father who truely loves their child who is married and has kids but is disfellowshipped does not grieve and long to be with them?
I really strongly agree with Gumby on the above statements.. I realize once we are really outside the box we see how ridiculous a JWs thinking is, but have we been out so long we don't remember why we ourselves made some choices? I am not talking about the blanket harsh shunnings, because everytime I comment on why someone does avoid association or shuns to a certain extent, someone comes in behind and says they NEVER shunned.. like they are self righteous or something about it. I NEVER shunned outright myself when I was in. If I saw a dfd person at a convention or on the street, I smiled at them with a look that said I am happy to see you here and at times even said hello. I still went and saw my sister who has been dfd since age 14, because she is my sister. no we didn't go to the mall or to a movie together but I didn't outright shun her either. I called her and went to her home to see her and she always knew my love...
but the point being.. if we were raised as dubs, we were conditioned with that mentality (you may call it brainwashing), that if we truly LOVE these people, we will set and example and show them how important Jehovah was to us. sure that thinking was way way off base.. but that mental conditioning had it making sense in our minds at the time..
I know that even the meanest of my JW (past) friends reactions to my stopping my meeting attendances, only did it because of frustration, worry and love for me.. Misplaced? Hell yeah.. but to them it was honest.. I know my friends have cried tears for me.. I know they miss me.. I know my mother, although she sent her recent official shun letter recently cries buckets of tears for me.. no matter how long I am out of the box, I will never doubt her love..
we all made bad bad choices while under the influence of the WTS. but we forget sometimes..
I hate the WTS's influence and it is them I blame.. but in my heart, I will still miss those people who loved me.. even if their friendship was on the condition of religion.. because I know in their heart.. it is that love for me that sets that condition, because they honestly think that if they can obey the WTS (in their eyes Jehovah) that it might make a difference for me to return and still save my life..
I know it is messed up.. but at least for those I loved.. I do honestly believe they care.. and they hurt.. and miss me too
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liquidsky
Very interesting forum name there "liquidsky", I noticed you are from Washington, does the name have anything to do with the band Queensryche?? I`m a HUGE fan!!
It has nothing to do with Queensryche. Good band though! I saw them live a loooooong time ago. They opened for Sky Cries Mary.
I actually don't remember where I got the "liquidsky" name. I've been using it as my email and in forums for years.
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starfish422
Yep, I miss Michael. :(
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Big Dog
There was a guy that I grew up with at the hall and was as close as a brother to, I mean we were as tight as two straight guys could get. He was always adhered more to the faith than I did but it never came between us. As teenagers when I really started pulling away he was okay with it but his family had a problem with it and tried to limit our time together. At that time he fell in love with a girl from high school, they dated for like 5 years and to this day he says she was the love of his life. But he wanted to remain in the borg so he forced himself to fall in love with a girl from the hall. At this point our paths really started to diverge, I was headed to college and he was as the cliche goes starting a career in the service industry as a janitor. The girl friend came from a really flaky family, the mother and father were serially df'd for screwing around. They got married and the new wife hated me and pretty much shut us down for years. Fast forward about 5 years and we get back in touch, JW or not I really missed the guy. His zeal it seemed had cooled a little and the wife no longer thought I was Satan incarnate. So we start the friendship back up though it was never quite the same and certainly not as frequent, we would get together once every couple of months. About two years ago he comes home from work and she is gone. Three weeks later he gets a letter from California, she met another and thppppt she was gone. Then she proceeds to just torque him through out the divorce. He was just sick about it, 15 years he gave it, and at the cost of the woman he said he still thought about all for the sake of the Borg. He just couldn't get past the divorce, it haunted him, his blood pressure got out of control though otherwise he was in excellent shape. Two weeks ago he has a stroke, 41 years old, semi paralyzed and in rehab now. He had been a good athlete and serious weightlifter. It just makes me sick. And of course given my view points, I lay that one at the Borg's doorstep, or at least a good part of it. JW or not, he was and is a friend, and whether or not he stays in the Borg is unimportant to me, I am just going to try and help him get back on his feet (literally) and be a friend. A bit windy and I'm sorry but I just needed to get that one out. The short answer, missed him like hell, glad to be seeing him again.