This thread is bringing back some very unconfortable memories. I remember giving talks and going on "autopilot" when talking about the paradise. All the while thinking to myself WTF. How the hell do I get out of here without losing my family and my sanity.
That was 10 years ago, have not been to a meeting in about a year. Still have my family - I am on a very uncomfortable truce with my wife. My sanity is still questionable.