Is Hatred Really Just "Loving Less"?

TMS

The Bible says the Jacob hated Leah, the gal he was tricked into marrying after seven years of hard work at minimum wage. For many years Watchtower publications have tried to take the sting out of Jacob's disdain for wife #1 by saying that he really didn't hate Leah, just "loved her less".

I think he hated her.

Its not that hard to understand. If a man works seven long years, each night going to sleep with visions of a certain bright-eyed girl and then gets stuck with her dull-eyed plain sister, resentment could build. After a grand total of fourteen years of hard labor, he finally gets his dream girl, only to find that her eyes have lost a little sparkle.

Yeah, he hated Leah. Almost as much as he hated Laban.

Why the unnecessary Watchtower spin? Is it because Jacob was one of the "good guys" and shouldn't be portrayed with such a negative emotion? The "Insight" book indicates that Jacob obviously did not "hate" Leah, because he continued to have sex with her. Is that enough proof for you?

TMS

ps Are we really to "hate what is bad" or simply love it less?

gsark

Yeah, TMS

If what the WT says is true, then why did Leah say in

29:32: and that now my husband will begin to love me

29:33 in that I was hated and so he gave me also this one

29:34 now this time my husband will join himself to me, because I have borne him three sons.

If the shoe doesn't fit, cut off the foot...

Life is a roller coaster. Get in, sit down, shut up and hang on!

wasasister

I've often wondered about this. If, as I have come to believe, these accounts were meant to teach us some lesson rather than being absolute historical accounts, what are we learning here?

From Leah's perspective, she really had a bad deal. The account never says she was ugly, just that Jacob did not have the lust/love for her he felt for her sister. This story is as old as time. (Most biographers conclude that Mozart was smitten by Constanza's sister before he married her.) Leah knew Jacob would eventually aquire the woman he really loved. She missed out on being with a man who really wanted her. How sick was Laban?

Thinking of the historical perspective, a man was required to produce offspring. Of course, alone in a tent with a willing partner, what able-bodied man would refuse to consummate a marriage, even where love was not involved? Can you even imagine what Leah was subjected to when Rebekah entered the picture?

You are right of course. Spin Doctors trying to make our "hero" look less of a cad. Does't work for me either.

NotBlind

I think if the Bible meant that Jacob 'loved Leah less', then it would have said so. It says he hated her.

Just another case of not letting the Bible speak for itself, even on something as mundane as the meaning of the world 'hate'.

Introspection

I don't have any thoughts about this particular account, but that's a good point about loving less, or not loving at all. Consider what happens when someone is disfellowshipped, you don't project hate, you just don't have anything to do with them, which certainly means not showing any love. So you don't have to hate anyone, but the end result is that the other person is hurt. Then there's the whole issue of hating the practice/message/whatever rather than the person, but it doesn't always turn out that way in practice.. Well anyways, is this kind of what you're getting at?

"Knowing others is wisdom. Knowing the self is insight. Mastering others requires force. Mastering the self requires true strength." -Tao Te Ching, Chapter 33

claudia

TMS, have you or anyone else reading this ever notice that a jw will

seldon admit that another jw has no natural love, it is

just their "personality". while someone in "the world" who behaves

exactly the same will be deemed as having "no natural love" Has anyone else encountered this?

messenger

I think if you check the account you will find he did not have to wait for 14 years to get the pretty girl nookie. It was shortly after the honeyommon with Leah, but he still agreed to work another 7 years. Just a minor clarification.

TMS

Enjoyed all the posts above.

Something else stikes me as unfair.

Jehovah "closes the womb" of Rachel because Jacob hates Leah, obviously denying him, for a time, offspring from his beloved. Now, if he wants kids, he HAS to get to KNOW Leah. She becomes sort of an unloved surrogate. Pretty strong punishment for Rachel, actually, just because her husband loved her more than the her sister substitute.

TMS

Introspection

Claudia, not that we need to get technical or anything but are you thinking of "natural affection" (part of the sign of the last days) as the NWT terms it? I suppose it goes back to the double standard thing, the brothers are trying despite being imperfect but people in the world are wicked or what have you.

Actually I think the distinction is important. If I had to look at myself in the area of romantic love, for example, I can't say that I really love every woman I'm attracted to. In fact, if that's all it is it's really a self centered thing on my part. In one sense I love all human beings, but the fact I'm sexually attracted to this person it just means I still have a little bit of hormones left, though I do think there is a feeling that's different in quality when you really love someone who you think is special. I suppose you could say both kinds of love is natural, but the fact I feel sexual attraction doesn't make me a special person..

"Knowing others is wisdom. Knowing the self is insight. Mastering others requires force. Mastering the self requires true strength." -Tao Te Ching, Chapter 33

wasasister

Messenger:
Again with the "pretty girl" innuendo! Where does it say that?

Yes, I understood, the union of the couple preceeded the additional years of servitude. What difference does that make?

I personally think Leah and Cinderella's step-sisters should co-author a book. It would be an entirely new insight on the "beauty" vs "ugly" battle.

Is Hatred Really Just "Loving Less"?

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