Do you feel bad for all the things you did as a JW?

by rebel8 11 Replies latest jw friends

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  rebel8

  I do:

  • shunning DF/DA'ers and others I was told were "weak" or "bad association"
  • telling on fellow dubs to the elders
  • calling the RC church and being hostile/rude while demanding they remove my name as a parishoner
  • anything and everything I did in field service and informal witnessing
  • intentionally having a distant relationship with my "unbelieving" dad and other relatives
  • telling my relatives I was planning on going to bethel, which broke their hearts (of course I never went, because it was a LIE--my mom made me say that sh-t)
  • sitting during the Pledge of Allegiance/National Anthem or during prayers when attending funerals/weddings in other churches (IMO it's intentionally disrespectful--obnoxious--why make the point of being in the room and then disrupt--they should just leave the room if they can't be polite)
  • being judgemental
  • participating in the KH grapevine
  • obeying my jw whack mother's rules and all the other jw rules, and tolerating mental abuse--I feel guilty for not displaying basic self respect.
  • allowing my mother to continue spanking me until I was 18, again which showed lack of self-respect (LOL, on my high school graduation day, she tried to punch me and I held her hands back, said, "You are never going to hit me again." Younger sibs clapped!)
• 

  wannaexit

  I do feel bad for a lot of the same.

  The worst for me is the sense of superiority I and my family displayed as loyal Jws. How we thought we were better than our "wordly" relatives. How condenscending I was towards them. Now I realize my relatives were the superior ones. They put up with all our crap and listenened and faithfully came to all the memorials and truly respected us. But I can't say the same for me.

  I wish I could go back in time and undo all the damage that was caused.

  Wanna
• 

  Low-Key Lysmith

  I feel bad for pestering people in their homes on Saturday Mornings.
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  Dragonlady76

  • I was always rebellious, so I never shunned anyone.
  • I never told on anyone, although it happened to me several times.(got me into lot's of trouble)
  • Never gossiped as I was never a part of the in crowd at the KH.
  • I did go on field service and hated it, never did a good job at it, so I am sure no one is a JW thanks to me.
  • Never went to other churches.
  • As a young child I did not salute the flag, but as I got older I did salute, <---and I am proud of that.

  My one regret is having learned how to be judgemental, it's a hard habit to break.

  I never bought into the JW's org, as early as 6 years old I knew it was not for me.

  Dragonlady76
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  ValiantBoy

  I don't regret not celebrating holidays or anything else I did out of sincerity. What I do regret is how freakin self righteous I became before it was all over. I tried so hard to cover over and make up for my doubts that I became over zealous and inhumane.
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  Dustin

  I regret everything about my JW existance. I really wish I could go back and live it over knowing what I know now.

  Dustin
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  franklin J

  yes, most specifically the disfellowshipped ones that I "shunned" ( good JW; just like I was taught to do).

  HAH! "what goes around comes around".....

  I got it "both barrells" when I left....HAH!
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  Effervescent

  I regret having done all the above things in a seventeen year attempt to make my father proud of me. Too bad I didnt know at the time that he was just a image obsessed man who put his quest for power above the needs of his family and the love of his children.
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  jeanniebeanz

  I feel badly about the people that I hurt subscribing to the listed behavious/beliefs. However, I also recognize that hindsight is 20/20, and had I known then what I know now, I would not have behaved the same way at all.

  We can only base our decisions and behaviours on the facts as we understand them. We make mistakes and it's only evil if we continue the abusive behaviour once we find out the truth about the 'truth'.

  Jeannie
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  undercover

  There are some regrets...but there are also regrets from other parts of life also. You can't go back and change things. You learn from it and you vow not to do it again and you move on.

  I'm reminded of the movie, "The Big Kahuna" with Danny Devito and Kevin Spacey. I saw this movie as I was starting my exit away from the WT. A couple of quotes from this movie struck a chord with me. One applies here I think:

  "I'm saying you've already done plenty of things to regret, you just don't know what they are. It's when you discover them, when you see the folly in something you've done, and you wish that you had it do over, but you know you can't, because it's too late. So you pick that thing up, and carry it with you to remind you that life goes on, the world will spin without you, you really don't matter in the end. Then you will gain character, because honesty will reach out from inside and tattoo itself across your face."