Do you let JW's make you feel insignificant?

Dragonlady76

I have read so many posts and topics about how people are treated after leaving the org. so I would like to share with you my take on this.

I cannot help but notice that most people seem to feel that they are looked down upon by the JW's. Whether it be from shunning: a mean look,comments, avoiding someone etc..

I can honestly say that I have never felt this way, and I have run into several JW's since I left. I was raised a JW but never baptized just so you know.

I actually pity them, I feel superior to them, because I know the real truth and it has set me free. I live a great life, free of rules, guilt and control.

I laugh my a** off when I see them on field service shlepping out in the hot sun on a beautiful Saturday, while I drive myself to the spa, or think that I, as a woman can make important descisions without consulting or needing my husbands permission and that he admires me for my brain as well as my looks. Every day that I get up, I am thankful not to be a JW. If a JW should try to make me feel ill at ease I smile, and I know that I am the one who gets to look down not them, maybe they don't know or don't get it, but I do and that's what counts. Keep your chin up folks, you are the lucky one!

Dragonlady76

Country Girl

For me: there is the subject of "secret superiorty."

CG

rebel8

I feel the same way, dragonlady....but I too was not DFd...just faded, after being forced to be a JW and be baptized as a teen. Didn't even break any jw rules when I stopped associating, yet they still shun me. I'm glad they do. I have nothing to say to them, so I shun them too. Walk away when I see them.

I always had good self esteem though. I never believed that men or older women were superior to me, nor did I believe that I was superior to non-dubs...in other words, a balanced view of myself. Then when I left, I developed a sense of right and wrong inside myself. It didn't take me too long; I think I was unusual though.

Generally, I think the dub cult breeds low self esteem, and when they get the courage to leave, they feel even worse about themselves. Other people's opinion of them matters to them. They learn to not trust any of their own thoughts or feelings, always believe what the wts tells you to think/feel. Me, I just feel sorry for them. They are so pathetic.

iiz2cool

Even when I was a JW in good standing they tried to make me feel insignificant with their constant criticism. Eventually I realized that the things they were criticizing, like a good job and continuing education, were things they lacked or were afraid to pursue.

Most JWs are little people who, outside of their respective congregations, are uneducated, powerless, and insignificant. That's why they gossip about people or criticize them. It makes them feel important. It's also why they zealously endeavor to climb the theocratic ladder. Where else can a toilet cleaner gain respect and power over others?

Except for my mom, I have no desire to speak to a JW. We had little in common when I was one; we have nothing in common now.

Walter

IP_SEC

No one can demean you or make you feel insignificant with out your permission. Do not allow them to demean you and you will not be demeaned.

Sorry if this is an over simplification, I've never been in the situation, so I may not completley get it.

jeanniebeanz

not since i told them where they could put their religion!

when i was a witness i was very worried about what others thought of me, and was a cold un loving insecure person.

now that i am not a witness, i am a warm loving secure person.

they can just bite me if they don't like it.

J

Dragonlady76

Ip_Sec,

No one can demean you or make you feel insignificant with out your permission. Do not allow them to demean you and you will not be demeaned.

Exactly!

Dragonlady76

franklin J

I have been away from them for 20 years. My life is at a point where I can look back, from a point of comfortable security both emotional and financial, and laugh at them and their dsyfunctional lifestyle.

I do not allow them to talk down to me. EVER. When I encounter any old "friends" I am always friendlly and cordial and they just do not expect to see an XJW doing so well. I am expected to be a down and out drug addict ....a loser for "turning my back on Jehovah".

Nothing could be farther from the truth.

Most of my contemporaries growing up as a JW have been married ( at a young age) and are now divorced. They are still plugging away at meetings and their menial jobs.....I do not--never have been threatened by them, and now actually am beginning to pity them.

I never try to hide when I see one coming in a public place. But if they see me they cross the street to avoid me.

Good riddance....my life will go on with out them.

Dragonlady76

Rebel8,

Other people's opinion of them matters to them

Liz2cool,

Most JWs are little people who, outside of their respective congregations, are uneducated, powerless, and insignificant. That's why they gossip about people or criticize them. It makes them feel important. It's also why they zealously endeavor to climb the theocratic ladder. Where else can a toilet cleaner gain respect and power over others?

I think the above lines offer some insight as to why some people feel looked down on, as a JW you learn & yearn to look for acceptance and respect form the others in the cong, and what people think of you becomes an unhealthy obsession that is hard to let go, being out on your own without the people who you have come to love or respect is difficult, but what about when those same people you loved and respected, shun you or just treat you like s**t?

I think that is what makes it so hard. Letting go of that judgemental/what will people think of me reasoning. Until you can let that go, you will continue allowing yourself to feel bad. Dragonlady76

whyamihere

I have felt lower and less of a person with all the people in the Congregation!

My Dad was not an Elder!

My mother did not Pioneer(6 kids)!

We stopped going to the meetings for a short while(My brother at the age of 14 had a Tumor in his head and both my parents were at the Mayo and my Sister of 16 me 13 my younger brothers 11, 9, 8....all had to take care of each other for about a month.) When we all got back they treated us like crap because we didn't go for awhile. I don't remember anyone helping us but some people from my Mom's work. I cooked all the meals and took my brothers too school. I was 13 and I did everything that my Mom did. My sister only drove us places thats about all she did. Oh yeah we took care of this elderly man next because he had no family and I cooked and cleaned for him too! No help from the Congregation!

My parents did pretty well and we had a few new cars and they treated us like crap because of it.

Now I don't care...I tell everyone off ..but in a nice way. One Elder came up to me and said Hi...I looked at him like he was stupid and said"I have nothing to do with you now please walk far away and never EVER come up to me or my child!"

I tell people like it is I don't care if they don't want to hear it. If they see me and start walking away and walking very fast with their head down acting is if they don't see me(we all know what I am talking about) I yell out their name and say "Hey I know you know I am here ....Have a Great Day" Stuff like that I make a joke out of it. I like making people uncomfortable!

Brooke

Do you let JW's make you feel insignificant?

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