My bit of an introduction

Thinking

In a very short time here I have truely appreciated the openess of the people that post here. The ability to share thoughts and feelings in a most respectful and honest way. I have been thankful to be validated with alot of what I was feeling and thinking with some things regarding the JW experiance.
At this time I am sorting out my thoughts and feelings. I love to hear about others but rarely tell about myself.

I thought it was only fair and time to tell a bit about myself. I was baptised in my late twenties. I was in a horribly abusive marriage with little support from my family. I was looking to God for answers and started to read the bible not understanding much of what I read. I was raised Catholic. I began to reach out and go to various churches. They all seemed a bit nuts and could not answer my questions. One day I got a knock at my door and had a very nice discussion with a woman who was very knowledgable and I agreed to a bible study weekly. I asked....."What religion are you?" Jehovah Witnesses she said. I said.....you could have told me you were any religion but JW's I have and Aunt that is JW, and we always thought she was a bit strange. So, I am one of the rare ones found door-to-door.

I bought in to everything. When I did have doubts, my teacher would encourage me to go on with the lesson and wait for all the puzzle pieces to fit. So, trusting her I did.

To keep this from being a book, I will skip all the DF part and me working my way back. Although, the experiance of being DF made me realize that elders were just imperfect men and not the GODS they are portrayed to be and I never looked to any humans as I once did after that.

I worked very hard out in the world and found out I was not going to be the scum from the bottom of the earth that I was told. That all morals would go out the window. I found out I was very decent and my standards were high.
Although, I did enjoy drinking and partying alot....hehe....but I am sure that is the result of unhappy marriage and newly divorced.

Now all these years later I am back and of course it is different. I do and always find very loving people in the org. Only a very few that are real people though. Recently, I was sitting in a meeting and looked around and the people there and thought to myself, If these are the people I have to be in paradise with ......I don't want to be there!!!! So, I thought ..Ok Widen out. Well, by doing that I have now mostly stopped going to the meetings. It was better for me to have my little fantasies of how perfect everyone was.

All the things you bring up here I have thought about. The blood issue.
I did not give it a great deal of thought till they did the blood fraction thing. And I was like ...How crappy is that .... to change the view. I never knew one thing about the 607 date thing but find that enlightening too.
I have order COC book and it should be in soon. I am anxious to read it.

I have many things going on. Elder friends that are dropped out of the truth completely. My daughter is in counselling, she will no longer go to the meetings. I will say this, there was a time when she was reaching out in the congo for friends. An elders niece especially. My daughter kept saying ........Really she does not want to have anything to do with me. Later I found out her father said not to associate with my daughter. My heart dropped and I never made my daughter go back. I find the way the youth is dealt with so treacherously very treacherous....lol. I think if a kid is at a meeting, you should bang the drum, sound the horn and be thankful they are there, no matter what they wear or even if they seem to wonder off in their thoughts, I mean afterall they are supposed to be where the holy spirit is and if Jahs spirit is really there, why would saying hi to another youth be bad association. Where else but the hall could you be the most protected from wickedness?

I have much to be thankful for concerning my witness experiance. But even this week I find it odd in my search again for GOD. Of all places a bailbonds business( I hade to bail someone out this week) I was in a discussion with a very humble man with huge knowledge of the bible and was reminded of God's love ......his unconditional love for us (mankind) and felt the heavy burden of what I feel at the Kingdom Hall lifted. I would love to be with a man like him in Paradise. He is married with 5 kids and was not cunfused at all about his beliefs and love for his fellow man. He did not need any organization to tell him what to think or feel or believe. And I feel certain he did not talk to me untill 2am so he could turn in time.

Thanks again for letting me be here. My personality is mostly to observe. I don't think I am a troll. I am not as smart as most here and I am not making a stand one way or another.. I am a person first and only wanted to find a place of peace and love. I am still searching and hopefully still growing in that direction.

Love to all who are true to thierselves as that is the only way to find the answers.

One more thing this bailbondsman told me.......I told him that no one was very happy I was getting this person out of jail. He said Unconditional love is never popular. Something to thing about.

IP_SEC

Thanks for sharing!

I am not as smart as most here

Ya you are.

IPSec

:)

Golf

Greetings Thinking. Thanks for sharing a part of your life. Yes, you gotta be your own person.

Now that you know how thinks work here, feel free to jump in anytime and share.

Golf

Big Dog

Welcome aboard Thinking, please do plenty of that, thinking that is. I think you will find alot of people much like yourself here, and I can guarantee you you'll find a few unlike any you have met before.

jgnat

Welcome, Thinking. I knew God gave you a brain for something. I am sure you will enrich and broaden our board experience.

Sunspot

I bought in to everything. When I did have doubts, my teacher would encourage me to go on with the lesson and wait for all the puzzle pieces to fit. So, trusting her I did.

Hi Thinking!

I left the Catholic Church at 28 and began to study with JWs. I remember being told that so many times. You nailed that whole scene very well!

I was so braindead that I stayed a JW for 30 years. I was never very good at putting things together that would cause me to doubt that I had "the truth" (gag) and I just sailed along in my own world until too many things became SO apparent that it was NOT God's only approved religion.

I think our common motto is, HOW COULD I BE SO STUPID!

hugs,

Annie

jeanniebeanz

Welcome, thinking. It's nice to have you here.

J

Taylor S.

Thinking ~~

That was a most heartfelt intro. (*** Yeah I got a little misty, so what ! ***)

It was a pleasure to read, and I couldn't agree more about the class of people here. As much as I rave & fume about the dubs, I knew some truly great people there ... some wretched ones too, but overall, some really kind hearted souls who have no idea what's really going on. That's the sad part.

By what I read ... I think you've already found some of what you're looking for.

taylorS

wanderlustguy

Welcome to the board, I look forward to reading more form you.

HadEnuf

Welcome to the forum Thinking!

Recently, I was sitting in a meeting and looked around and the people there and thought to myself, If these are the people I have to be in paradise with ......I don't want to be there!!!!

I really had a chuckle when I read that because that is EXACTLY (and I'm not kidding you here) what I used to think and then say to my husband. Everyone was always so cold and judgmental. They weren't even people I would choose to be friends with...I was forced into it.

I agree with the other poster's here...don't belittle yourself and say you aren't as smart as others on this board. Everyone here has something to contribute and IQ tests are not required. From your posting I think you sound like a very intelligent and caring person. And that is smart.

Cathy L.

My bit of an introduction

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