by Noumenon 33 Replies latest jw friends
I once heard about a sister that was having a lot of trouble with demons, and apparently she had a bad demon attack in the kingdom hall.
Anyone else heard of such a thing? So much for the house of Jehovah being some sort of refuge.
I have also heard of a witness who still experienced a demon attack despite calling out Jehovah's name aloud.
I heard a smurf got up and walked out of a kingdom hall....
I also heard of people having demons in there house but it took elders to figure out where the demons were coming from and get rid of the satanic piece of furniture before they were rid of the demons.
she probably fell asleep in the meeting and has sleep paralysis, lol.
I have also heard of a witness who still experienced a demon attack despite calling out Jehovah's name aloud.
what is jehovah's name? it's not jehovah!
Perhaps it was the drugs?
Lots of stories circulate as part of the mythology and superstition that surrounds the cult called Jehovah's witnesses. Kinda like the old telling of ghost stories around the campfire.
I think most are Urban Legends, IMHO. Used to hear a lot of them
Jeff
At the last meeting I attended, I was attacked by demon hordes. I was immediately called for an elder's meeting. The most spiritual one must have weighed over 300 pounds. He was well trusted because several of the thinner elders had committed adultery with the pioneer sisters in years past. They called him a "heavy".
He started sweating and would intermittently wipe his face with his sleeve as he prepared to remove the evil from our midst. I became transfixed on his large puffy tie knot and imagined helping him learn a proper windsor. But, I knew that was just the demon influence. I immediately regained my composure and paid attention to the more important things. I found my body being levitated after I said something about UN involvement. By this time the few strands of side hair that had previously been so carefully and humbly pulled over the crown of his smooth head was hanging to the side and was wildly swinging each time he commanded the hordes to come out. I can still hear it:
"In the name of the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society, I command thee to come out!"
My body started contorting, and it took three elders to hold me down. The "heavy" climbed on top of me, ripping his polyester pants in the process and another elder lost his pocket pen protector as he reached for a Watchtower bound volume. My voice became deep and gutteral as I writhed in pain. I hawked up green bile as I struggled and another elder told me not to worry about it because he was a janitor by trade and "could get it up later".
By this time the walls of the Kingdom Hall were shaking and the brother giving the instruction talk lost his place in his script. A child raised her hand and said "Jehovah". Everyone started clapping and the brother giving the talk found his place again and resumed, thankful that he didn't need to think or say something that might not be in line.... all the while pretending not to hear the demonic protestations coming from the library. The audience started underlining each and every paragraph to show their obedience as they whispered the name of "jehovah" repeatedly under their breath.
Finally with my head being pounded with a bound volume, the hordes eventually came out just as I was about to breath my last breath due to the tremendous weight placed upon me. I stayed still for a few moments as the elders discussed what they would eat after the meeting. It was quickly narrowed down to chili cheese fries and cheese nachos with loads of sour cream washed down with a couple pitchers of beer.
I slowly walked to my car and have never been back to a meeting since.
Perry, Thanks for the giggle!
I once heard about a sister that was having a lot of trouble with demons, and apparently she had a bad demon attack in the kingdom hall. have also heard of a witness who still experienced a demon attack despite calling out Jehovah's name aloud.
This was probably due to the fact they forgot to take their Prozac that morning; Or maybe Prozac hadn't been invented yet.
Perry . . .the exact same thing happened to me !
They should keep some salt at the hall.
