the wedding industry in New York is outragous.
But I do think that every bride should feel beautiful on this day and that it should be everything she wants.
As a groom it did not matter much to me. My wife, however, had other ideas.....
Going into debt too pay for a wedding
by unbeliever 26 Replies latest jw friends
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RebelliousSpirit
My husband and I paid for our wedding ourselves. We had a lovely wedding, and a beautiful reception (about 90 guests). Everyone raved that it was the best wedding/reception they'd been to - we specifically had no alcohol at our reception, but you'd never have known it. lol! At any rate, the wedding/reception cost us a grand total of $2,000. Heck my wedding dress only cost $99 - I'm not a frilly kind of person. Bottom line is we did not go into debt for our wedding (nor did our families have to). We've been very happily married for 6 years (together for 8) - and I forsee many, many more (forever would be nice!).
My JW sister-in-law on the otherhand - my inlaws paid for her wedding (at least $10,000 ... if not more) - and as it is she only got married (to a guy she barely knew) because she apparently got "wedding fever" watching me plan our wedding. That point was proven when her brother and I had been planning our wedding for 6 months - SIL met a guy, and they decided they would get married - 2 weeks before my wedding. ::grumble:: Oh, did I mention her JW husband has been cheating on her for the last 3 years of their marriage, is an abusive @sshole, and just disassociated himself and filed for divorce? Heh. The sad thing is ... everyone told her not to marry him, her parents even offered to call off the wedding - but no, she was 19 and she knew better than everyone else. ::shaking head::
And just to throw more JW crap into the mix - he admitted to infidelity a few years back, and she forgave him. Now everyone knows he's up to his old tricks again, but he refuses to admit it knowing that she can't get a scriptural divorce out of it if he doesn't. A man can physically and emotionally abuse his wife for 6 years, and she can't scripturally divorce him. He can admittedly have phone sex and be @ss deep in pornography, and she can't scripturally divorce him. AND he can committ adultery to his heart's content, but if she can't prove it - she can't scripturally divorce him. If it were me, I'd be telling them where to stick their scriptural divorce.
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Es
Hey all,
I am getting married in Nov this year. Even tho my fiance's parents insisted on paying for the recpetion, we have still come out of it really cheaply. We will have everything paid off by the wedding just by some good hard saving. Our ceremony and reception is being held at the royal botanical gardens in Melbourne Australia. Ceremony and recepetion costing about $4400. Photographer $759, flowers $560, car $260 and hair and makeup $200.
I also thought i'd do a nice thing and I paid for all of my bridesmaids dress's, shoes and flowers only asking them to pay for makeup and hair.
es
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DaCheech
Gotta blame TV, (example: the Bachelor) people are drawn into the
fairy tale script, and are drawn to think that this is the only way to go!
We had amoderate one, but after inviting a few people..... the total including the honeymoon cost $8,500.
People's gifts, including family returned about half the cost
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jgnat
Hey, before TV there was Cinderella.
Our family joke is that we all eloped. My favorite was dad's second marriage, where he and Myrna took off for a holiday in the Yukon and then sent everybody the wedding announcement after-the-fact. We arranged a huge BBQ when they got back. We all chipped in and got them the BBQ. That was fun.
I guess none of us bother with the frippery and the fluff.
Me, I gave the poor florist 24 hours to arrange my wedding bouquet. She wanted me to flip through this huge book. I said, if I am getting married tomorrow, don't I have to pick from the flowers on hand? I don't like silk. The flustered girl agreed, and we picked a few flowers from the cooler that looked happy. Within hours of my arriving home, she called me to check if I wanted ribbon or not. "Look," I said. "I am a supervisor and I am used to having talented people arrange things for me. You do this sort of thing for a living, why don't you put something together that you know will look nice? I promise I will be happy with whatever you decide."
I don't think I acted like a regular bride.
The bouquet was lovely.
We had no debt.
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heatherg
My hubby and I wanted it to be small and fun. We spent only $2,000 on our wedding which we paid for ourselves. Family members chipped in small ways by making our invitations, and making food. My bridesmaids dresses were only $70 bucks apiece and were the kind of dress you could wear again somewhere. I let them pick out their own shoes or wear what they had, no one was gonna look at them anyway. And I paid for hair to be done, and we each did each other's makeup. It was a lovely simple wedding in a church that was nondenominational so only cost a few bucks. At our reception we had a friend DJ and everyone brought their favorite CD's. Three other family members got married the same year as us and spent way more, but everyone said that ours was the nicest and most fun they had had at wedding. I wish I could do it all over again my hubby and I had such fun! hg
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bikerchic
Her reasoning is that she will only get married once so she wants her day to be memorable. I bet she will have a memorable day when she gets back from her honeymoon and comes home to all these bills that she cannot afford to pay.
Better that she makes her marriage memorable, but then again she is defining it by debt. I have a feeling long after the I do's the only thing memorable about this marriage is bankruptcy, divorce and she'll probably find some sugar daddy along the way.......
Her focus is clearly in the wrong place. Here is the wedding she should have: (IMHO)
Down at the local courthouse, wear a "nice" dress, him a "nice" suit, bouquet of flowers purchased at Safeway, his boutonnière a flower from her bouquet, Mom and Pop taking pictures from the courthouse steps. Small cake and punch reception in a park. Maybe M-I-L could bake the cake eh?
But then I'm old fashioned and would be way more concerned with the hereafter and the stresses of that then adding to the stress with all those bills.
Kate