lets get the elders stoned
by what_Truth? 25 Replies latest jw experiences
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Preston
why cant we just pelt them with tomatoes
- Preston
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Little Red Hen
Unless it is a formal white jacket situation, why waste the goodies on 'em? Thorazine, anyone?
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Abaddon
Monty Python's Life of Brian
Scene 3
- MANDY:
- Ohh, I hate wearing these beards.
- BRIAN:
- Why aren't women allowed go to stonings, Mum?
- MANDY:
- It's written. That's why.
- HARRY THE HAGGLER:
- Pssst! Beard, madam?
- DONKEY OWNER:
- Oh, look. I haven't got time to go to no stonings. He's not well again.
- [hee-haw hee-haw]
- HARRY THE HAGGLER:
- Stones, sir?
- MANDY:
- Naah. They've got a lot there, lying around on the ground.
- HARRY THE HAGGLER:
- Oh, not like these, sir. Look at this. Feel the quality of that. That's craftsmanship, sir.
- MANDY:
- Hmmm. Aah, all right. We'll have, uh, two with points and... a big flat one.
- BRIAN:
- Could I have a flat one, Mum?
- MANDY:
- Shh!
- BRIAN:
- Sorry. Dad.
- MANDY:
- Ehh, all right. Two points, ah, two flats, and a packet of gravel.
- HARRY THE HAGGLER:
- Packet of gravel. Should be a good one this afternoon.
- MANDY:
- Hehh?
- HARRY THE HAGGLER:
- Local boy.
- MANDY:
- Oh, good.
- HARRY THE HAGGLER:
- Enjoy yourselves.
I think something like STP (?), which is a bit like LSD but all in 15 minutes... or Ketamine... or PCP... nothing that could remotely be viewed as fun by any reasonable person.
But a laxative would be truely just; get the shit flowing both ends for a change...
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HadEnuf
I would choose a hefty dose of x-lax in his dessert. Or at least something that works really fast.
(Disclaimer: I have no recollection of making this post as I am on powerful narcotic painkillers and am not responsible for what my fingers may be typing).
Cathy L.
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curlygirl
That is the best idea I've heard in a long time! How about I make up a batch of my "special" cookies for the next quick build?!!
Cathy------ your posts always crack me up!!!!
curlygirl
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Nancy Drake
I would choose a hefty dose of x-lax in his dessert
Cathy,
Hmmmm, I seem to remember a similar real life situation? I think someone is a becoming a bad influence on you! LOL!!!
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ithinkisee
There is a particular elder that we like to give too much to drink to and then ask him what he REALLY thinks about different people in the congregation. It is pretty insightful (and funny!).
Another elder from my old congregation had too much to drink one time and he got really graphic about his wedding night. He went in to detail about what it was like to pull down his wife's panties for the first time, and how he barely got it "in the hole" before he was finished and how the next morning they were so sore from the rugburns, bruises, and chafing. Then he went into some of his wife's favorite positions and how certain ones she would come over and over and over. I was not yet married so I learned alot from this guy. Heheh.
Two days later he called each of us personally and apologized. Regardless, I could not look at his "Southern proper" elder wife again without thinking of her in some of those positions.
(I solemnly swear I am NOT exaggerating AT ALL ...)
-ithinkisee
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avishai
Another elder from my old congregation had too much to drink one time and he got really graphic about his wedding night. He went in to detail about what it was like to pull down his wife's panties for the first time, and how he barely got it "in the hole" before he was finished and how the next morning they were so sore from the rugburns, bruises, and chafing. Then he went into some of his wife's favorite positions and how certain ones she would come over and over and over. I was not yet married so I learned alot from this guy. Heheh.
Two days later he called each of us personally and apologized. Regardless, I could not look at his "Southern proper" elder wife again without thinking of her in some of those positions.
(I solemnly swear I am NOT exaggerating AT ALL ...)
So? He should'nt have had to apologize, that's man talk, dammit!!
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ithinkisee
I didn't think so either. It was GREAT!
-ithinkisee