If there any single factor that I would rate as the highest priority in raising a child, it is this:
Teach them to be caring, loving adults who care about other people.
We've already noted, ad nauseum, how Witnesses are largely impelled by motives other than love in their "ministry". Beyond the
"pioneer stroll" and fantasies about who's-house-you-want-after-Armageddon, there is a further problem in raising Witness kids
that I list as:
3) Discouraging acts of charity, kindness and empathy - if the Watchtower believes that selfishness is the natural inclination
of youth, they have a responsibility to see that better motives are practised. Instead, picking up a hammer for Habitat for Humanity
or contributing to Amnesty International are seen as 'worldly' and a waste of time in a "dying world". Never mind that early Christians
gained fame by rescuing abandoned Roman babies - or that the apostles set up an internal charity for starving widows, as
"putting in your time" is given the priority. I firmly believe in the transformative power of hands-on work of caring for
others and its ability to change predatory attitudes into a caring outlook.
More than this, you parents need to consider the delicate and slender thread - that may keep your kids away from
trouble - the cultivated fear of hurting someone else. Let me tell you a true story:
I once knew a vivacious, attractive, single young woman in her 20's - who was intelligent, successful and independent.
Since she had a prominent job in the public eye, I once asked her why she didn't change her obviously 'ethnic' last name.
( as obvious as 'Scharwzenegger, you get the idea!). She replied, "I couldn't, it would hurt my father."
Having troubles in my own household, I nearly burst into tears.
Who knows what self destruction or horror your kids might avoid by the simple thought that their parents would be hurt?
How many Witness parents will shed tears because their kids react otherwise, being raised in a cold, legalistic, judgemental
cult? How many will suffer the dismissive thought that 'my parents are religious fanatics!' ( ask me, I KNOW!)
What do you expect from a religion that is far more skilled in the practise of shunning than any act of charity or care?
4) The effect of extremism - All kids will naturally rebel - that's just a part of growing up and testing the boundaries while
becoming an adult - but this process doesn't need to be amplified by Watchtower extremism! Can I join the football
team? No! Can I go to the prom? No! Can I go to college? (often no!) Do I have to go to 5 boring meetings a week? Yes!
Do I have to peddle magazines door to door? Yes! Is there any reason why we have to go to l-o-n-g t-i-r-e-s-o-m-e
days at the assembly, in which everyone else is half awake, anyway? Yes!
Now, continue the above process for about 15 or 16 years of your kids' life and guess what often happens?
The kid privately concludes "My parents are idiots. They are religious fanatics who are wasting their lives - and mine.
I gotta get OUTTA HERE!". At that moment of thought, the "baby gets thrown out with the bathwater". The future
Ex-Witness kid may end up worse than his 'worldly' peers because all of his parents advice is tainted by the organization's
extremism. Can you say "unintended consequences"?
Can someone tell me why the "Your Youth" book has two chapters against masturbation? Do any of you parents think
that there might be much bigger threats to your kids than a private 'bathroom' function? Like drugs? or drunken driving?
Hello?
I know an elder's wife who has privately wondered why the Witness kids she sees seem so 'socially inept'. Take all of the reasons
mentioned previously and wonder no more, sister!
Now, the final reason:
5) the cultivation of uncritical thinking and fantasy - The organization critically depends upon cultivating uncritical thinking and
acceptance of its demands. Nearly every Watchtower magazine, these days, is a showpiece of 'do as we say and don't ask
too many questions'. How else can you get 6 million people motivated after one hundred and twenty years of false
prophecy? That's quite a lot of history to ignore - did you ever get angry waiting for for an overdue repairman to come to your
home? Try ignoring that sort of delay multipied by a factor of thousands in the ceaseless promise of Armageddon Soon!
Did it help young Witnesses when the Society told them to avoid college because the End was so soon - in 1969?
( the May Awake of that year). Are those Witness 'kids' worried about retirement today?
As an elder, I constantly witnessed the fruits of uncritical thinking particularily in the sort of widespread health problems
that seem to ravage Witness congregations. Do have Candida? Multiple Personalities? Depression? Anorexia? Self Mutilation
Syndrome? Irritable Bowel Syndrome? The latest weird, Witness-trendy ailment that has few or no objective medical evidences
behind it? I'm not saying that they aren't really sick - far from it! They never seem to catch on that nearly any ailment
has a strong emotional component and your subconscious might be sending you a message that I've had enough of this
nonsense! I got tired of going out in service hearing about how "pollution" must be causing their running noses - despite
the obvious presence of nature's allergens and the absence of factories, long gone.
If you think thinking ability has any abundance among Witnesses, ask yourself why Sister Accountant can't handle the
congregation finances instead of Brother Fumble? Or why the elder who mumbles in a thick accent is chosen to deliver
critical annoucements? Or why no one can figure out why the sound system is screwed up? Or why the Society's songbook
was written by hacks? ( "molested bees"????) Or how they can spend thousands of hours to create one baptism?
Add your own observations here.
In summary, there are no guarantees in life or in raising kids. I know that some Witness kids will turn out OK inspite
of all of the above. Nevertheless, my opinion is that this organization is far too willing to label its youth as wicked and discard
them in the blind pursuit of extreme goals. I cannot tell you how many kids I saw ,as an elder of many years, who might have
turned out to be reasonably balanced, fufilled adults - if they were raised apart from the standards of the distant elderly ( and
almost entirely childless) men who run the Watchtower. Let me leave you with a true story that illustrates the problem:
Some years back, Governing Body member Gerrit Loesch was sent on a tour of branches in Europe and South Africa.
Therein, he was accosted by tearful Witness parents who asked what they could do about their families falling apart and kids
giving up the 'truth'. His glib response was to fire back "Read your Bible!". It's too bad that some sister didn't take immediate
offense and slap him good and hard. If someone had, perhaps District Overseers wouldn't have requoted this idiotic reply as
profound wisdom. Why didn't someone say, "What the hell book do you think we're reading? Do you think we never
heard of the 'Bible'? How about some specifics, such as Jesus might reply with, when questioned?"
The old men in charge are clueless. They don't know what to do. They don't know what to say. They don't want to think
that they are causing much of this exodus of Witness kids away from the 'truth' - and into trouble.
Consider the above and search your hearts, you Witness parents. One day, when you look with dimmed eyes out from
that nursing facility, you might appreciate a visit from a loving son or daughter - who never learned the pathways of a cold
religious extremism that bears a name usually associated with a prison camp:
"Watchtower"
metatron