Cool stuff. Courtesy of google.
Adam & Eve, verb
Adam & Eve = believe.
apples, noun
apples and pears = stairs.
April, noun
April in Paris = Aris.
Aris is an abbreviation of Aristotle = bottle.
ball, noun
ball of chalk = walk. (It's time to take a ball down the frog.)
barnet, noun
Barnet Fair = hair. (It's time you went and had your barnet cut, mate.)
Barnett Fair was a popular fair held in High Barnet, now a borough of London.
barney, noun
Barney Rubble = trouble; a fight. (You are in some barney.)
battle, noun
battle cruiser = boozer, pub. (This place is quite a good battle.)
berk, noun
Berkshire Hunt/Berkley Hunt = c*nt.
Both Berkshire and Berkley are typically pronounced bark. In this case, the first
syllable is is pronounced birk. ('E's a right berk.)
boat, noun
boat race = face. (You've got a lovely boat, darlin'.)
boracic, adj.
boracic lint = skint, broke. (Sorry mate, I'm completely borassic.)
bottle, noun
bottle and glass = ass.
brahms, adj.
Brahms and Liszt=pissed, drunk. (Your china got right brahms the other night.)
bread, noun
bread and honey = money. (Got any bread?)
bricks, noun
bricks and mortar = daughter.
Bristols, noun
Bristol City = titty; tits, breasts.
Britney, noun
Britney Spears = beer/s. (Fancy a britney?)
brown bread, adj.
brown bread = dead. (That old geezer's brown bread now.)
bubble, noun
bubble bath = laugh. (You're 'avin a bubble, in't ya?)
butcher's, noun
butcher's hook = look. (Get a butchers at that.)
china, noun
china plate = mate; friend.
cobblers, noun
cobbler's awls = balls, testicles; nonsense. (What a load of old cobblers!)
Cockney, noun
a person from London, specifically from the East End of London.
cream crackered, adj.
cream crackered = knackered, tired, exhausted.
currant, noun
currant bun=son; sun; The Sun, a popular tabloid newspaper.
daisy roots, noun
daisy roots = boots. (That's a smart pair of daisies!)
dicky bird, noun listen to The Long Firm
dicky bird = word. (That bloke never once said a dicky.)
dog and bone, noun
dog and bone = telephone.
duchess, noun
Duchess of Fife = wife. ('Ow are you feelin' me old dutch?)
dustbin lid, noun
dustbin lid = kid; child.
elephant's, adj.
elephant's trunk = drunk.
frog, noun
frog and toad = road. (It's time to take a ball down the frog.)
ginger, noun
1. red-colored hair.
2. ginger beer=queer, homosexual. ('E's one of them gingers.)
gypsy's, noun
gypsy's kiss = piss, urinate. (Gawd, I need a gypsy's.)
half-inch, verb
half-inch = pinch, steal. (Someone half-inched a fiver out of my purse.)
Hampstead, noun
Hampstead Heath = teeth. (She's got a huge boat full of hampsteads.)
holy, noun
Holy Ghost = toast. (I'll 'ave a cup o' rosy and some 'oly please.)
jimmy, noun
Jimmy Riddle = piddle, pee, urination. ('Ang on, I need to go for a jimmy.)
kermit, noun
Kermit the Frog = bog. (I'm going to the kermit.)
khyber, noun
Kyhber Pass = ass.
lah-di-da/lar-dee-dar, noun
lah-di-da/lar-dee-dar = cigar.
laugh, noun
laugh and joke = smoke; a cigarette. (I'm just goin' fer a laugh.)
loaf, noun
loaf of bread = head. (It's time you used your loaf, me old china.)
mince pies, noun
mince pies = eyes. (Feast yer minces on 'er legs.)
mutt, adj.
Mutt and Jeff = deaf. (You'll have to shout at 'im mate e's totally Mutt.)
north, noun
north and south = mouth. (She had a right foul north.)
pen, verb
pen and ink = stink. (It don't half pen in there.)
Pete Tong, adj.
Pete Tong = wrong. (Things are going a bit Pete Tong.
pig, noun
pig's ear = beer. (Can I buy you a pig?)
plates, noun
plates of meat = feet.
pony, noun
pony and trap = crap, rubbish.
pork, noun
pork pies = lies. ('Ave you been tellin' me porkies again?)
posh and becks, noun
posh and becks = sex.
rabbit, verb
rabbit and pork = talk; to talk on and on in a boring or annoying manner.
raspberry, noun
raspberry ripple = nipple. (That shirt is so thin I can see her raspberries.)
raspberry, noun
raspberry tart = fart; farting sound, a 'Bronx Cheer' to New Yorkers.
raspberry, noun
raspberry ripple = cripple, disabled person.
Not very PC, but it is a term that is frequently used by the disabled themselves.
Richard, noun
Richard the third = turd, feces. (I'm going for a Richard.)
rosy, noun
Rosy Lee = tea. (Fancy a cup of rosy?)
rub-a-dub, noun
rub a dub dub = pub. (I'm going down the rub-a-dub.)
saucepan, noun
saucepan lid = kid, child.
Scotches, noun
Scotch eggs = legs. (She's got a lovely pair of Scotches.)
septic, noun
septic tank = Yank, an American. (A bus load of septics just stopped at the battle.)
skin, noun
skin and blister = sister.
sky, noun
sky rocket = pocket.
taters, adj.
taters (potatoes) in the mold = cold. (It's taters today.)
tea leaf, noun
tea leaf = thief.
thru'penny, noun
thru'penny bits = tits.
Thrupenny bits were old twelve sided coins whose value was three pence (or
thruppence). In the East End, th sound is pronounced f. Thus thrupenny is actually
pronounced frappenny.
titfer, noun
tit-for-tat = hat. (You've got a nice new titfer.)
Todd, noun
Todd Sloan = own, alone. ('E's on 'is todd at 'ome tonight.)
tom, noun
tom tit = sh*t, dump. (I'm off for a Tom.)
Tom Tit Tot is a character in the English fairy tale written by Joseph Jacobs,
published in 1890. Jacobs also wrote Jack in the Beanstalk, Tom Thumb, and The
Story of the Three Little Pigs.
trouble and strife, noun
trouble and strife = wife. (Sorry mate, can't make it. Got trouble at home.)
two and eight, noun
two and eight = state (of anguish). ('E's all in a two an' eight.)
two bob, noun
two bob bits = sh*ts, diarrhoea. (I got a bad case of the two-bobs today.)
whistle, noun
whistle and flute = suit. (Look at me in me new whistle.)
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