by Englishman 21 Replies latest jw friends
Usually confession just gets you in trouble. Seriously though, I used to feel like I had to confess all the time, and always make sure I had a clear conscience about everything. But I got sick of always feeling like I needed to do that. Now I just bottle it all up, and let time take care of it. No need to tell everyone all my problems and sins.
Dustin
Confession is good for the soul only in the sense that a tweed coat is good for dandruff--it is a palliative rather than a remedy. -- Peter De Vries
Telling a group of folks (e.g., elders) that I hit a car and didn’t report it to the owner, serves little purpose other than giving the elders power over me
That’s my thought as well. Confession to the elders has in my experience always brought on punishment and given them leverage to make my life miserable. I believe though that confession of a serious sin is a firm step toward not repeating the sin and if we want to please God that is our real goal.
FairMind
Religions instill the feeling in people that they need to be allowed certain things and therefore have to confess if they do "wrong". Religions treat people like kids. Me personally feel only bound to my countrys laws and - when it comes to relationships - to my own conscience.
I can see nothing wrong with telling someone you did something bad and just getting on with it...a good priest or friend would tell you how to fix it...if they didn't they would niether be your friend or a real priest, just wanking multiple chains for no reason and participating in your own delusion.. . Just my 2 cents.
Sincerely,
District Overbeer
If it's a cop, yes!
u/d
The idea of confession is that the Elder/Priest is supposed to represent Jesus and that in the confession there is a chance to educate and provide support for the sinner and begin the process of repentance (inner change). Disfellowshipment or excommunication is a merciful thing in that the individual with a serious sin is not held by covenants that might otherwise condemn them ( a little like declaring bankruptcy - so you can start again with a fresh sheet.) Of course that is the theory - when foolish men misunderstand the process it ends up causing a whole world of hurt.
Englishman - that is a really interesting comment of yours -
In fact, it can even negate useful remorse, that period of discomfort we get when we've done something bad.
I've always wondered why I feel the urge the confess whenever I do something wrong - an urge almost as strong as the urge to conceal and cover up. I always knew my motives weren't entirely pure, and now I know why.
Having said that my primary reason for confessing to my boyfriend is that I would hate to lie to him and him not to know who the real me is and that he should have the choice to continue as my b/f based on knowledge of all the facts.
and him not to know who the real me is and that he should have the choice to continue as my b/f based on knowledge of all the facts
No no, that's a witness conditioned response. It's like saying if you know what I'm really like you won't want me. You're in effect replacing the org with your boyfriend. In other words, the need to be 100% pure and clean in order to survive armageddon etc is still there but because the org is no longer there to give you it's OK, your sublimating it's judgementalism and passing it on to your boyfriend. If you can't confess you can't feel good is quite a problem for many ex's.
Englishman.
No no, that's a witness conditioned response. It's like saying if you know what I'm really like you won't want me.
Englishman - I'm not going to say that there isn't an element of that there, but I haven't replaced the borg with my boyfriend - and he'd do his nut if he thought that.LOL. (I have replaced by father with him in part tho - I'll concede that much.)
The reason I dispute your analysis in my particular case is this: as a witness I had no desire to confess at all and my life was filled with lies and secrets and cover ups. So if there is any witness conditioning - it is in that I want to be exactly opposite to everything I had to be as a witness, ie I don't have to lie anymore and also because I get a kick out of being forgiven by my boyfriend because I come from the unforgiving JWs.
However I haven't had anything to confess to him for years (other than the favourite wine glass I broke last night - oops there goes my confessional instinct again!) I think I wanted to test him and our relationship a lot in the early days and that was definitely because I had/have serious trust issues, having been let down so hard by my family. (God that feels cool to say - let me say it again "LET DOWN BY MY FAMILY"! - not me letting my family down!)
