Those from the old school of JW training, do you remember the slogan, "Reach Out" or "Reaching" out? Reach out for priviledges in the congregation, Bethel service, be a Gilead missionary, a full time pioneer, 10 hr a month publisher, hmmmmm, publisher? Armageddon was coming.
Mind you, it was fun in them days, because, what else was there to do? Wow, has time changed the scenery, that is, the scene of the world.
Yeah, like any other youngster, I set goals, I reached out. But, what happened to me? Since I was a lover of baseball, my mom promised me that if I went to the Bible study I would go to the ballgame afterwards. As a kid, I was in my glory to hear this. Upon returning from the study, my brothers had gone to the ballgame without me. My mom didn't tell them to wait for me. I went into the bathroom and cried, cried, and cried. In fact, just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes.
To make a long story short, On SNG's thread, I 'listed' a number accomplishments in the course of my life. I learned at an early age not to wait on others and that to get things done, do it yourself! Be your own person! That was the begining of my journey.
In the years that I've been on forums of this nature, I've read plenty of negative posts. The org. has let millions down, but we gotta 'learn' to get beyond this let down. When I finshed crying, I set goals and I followed my dreams, so can you.
Yes, folks, 'reach out.' Set reachable goals, learn to let time be your friend. Learn to be patient, but YOU gotta reach out. As a professional sports player, keep in mind the following words, "No failure is ever final ... nor is success!
Golf
Reaching Out!
by Golf 10 Replies latest social family
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Golf
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prophecor
I'm listening Guest 77
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Golf
Good day Prophecor. Every morning I'm confronted with people's problems(in my community) and it makes me wonder when their going to take the time to solve their problems.
People gotta learn to grow up and take responsibility. Life has a lot to offer but people just don't seize the moment and opportunities. They remind me of a car in the mud, the only thing that is turning is the wheels, yes it's going/spinning, but, going nowhere
Witnesses can set goals because they've been trained to look to the future. They have this knowledge they can set goals. Now, just set 'real' goals.
Guest77/Golf -
squinks
Well Golf,
Thanks, you have given me something to think about today. I went through a similar painful experience when I was about 10. My mom had 2 pioneers come and study with us when we were little. They used the old Paradise Lost book. I became a very sincere young Witness. My mom was not. I started getting rides to meetings because no one else in my family went. I had recently been begging my parents to go out to dinner as a family. I had silly dreams of a wonderful family outing (silly me). anyway, one night when I came home from the meeting I found little packages of crackers from a restaurant laying around. I remember I felt like I had been hit with 20,000 volts when I asked Mom if they had been to dinner. She had a smirk on her face when she said yes. I cried my eyes out.
I didn't learn anything useful like you though. I just cried and grieved. Now I am 48 and my mom is in her seventies and just as cruel. I have stopped crying though and have taken my power back. No more spinning wheels in the mud for me!
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talesin
Golf,
This is something I struggle with -- the paralysis of fear, leftovers of trauma ... it's not all (or even most) JW-related, though the cult certainly groomed me to be a target for predators. That is a point to be considered ... what other factors am I dealing with (or not) that are contributing to my malaise?
As a JW and in my family, I was trained to obey. There was no realistic future, just a fantasy ... although I was highly 'functional' and financially successful after leaving the cult ... cognitive dissonance ruled through my 20s and into my mid-30s, till my system crashed ... and life went to hell in a handbasket ...
In another thread, I was just reading a 2002 KM on how to treat disfellowshipped ones. The discussion was partly about disinheriting DFd ones. How they could even cut me completely out of their lives if they were lucky. Unfortunately for them, I am ill and need their help ... I guess I am just a burden after all. This explains a lot of their behaviours of late ...
Once again, I was shocked and horrifed by the way they talk about people like me. I think "Is that how my parents really feel?" So, the retraumatization continues ...
Re the 'paralysis of fear'. Think of a bird, it's in your hand. If you touch it, it remains frozen in fear. If you leave it alone, it will eventually relax. Paralysis is a 'safe' fear response, remember fight or flight.
You are right that we need to do the work to move on. About 10 years ago, I visualized a healthy, strong me, and already have achieved 90% of that goal, now I'm working on the education. It still takes constant effort to remain focussed, but it's worth it!
Thought-provoking stuff ... I guess I've come a long way. Thanks for the shot to the arm! ;)
t
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tijkmo
its the fear of what comes after the doing
that makes the doing so hard to do
and yet the magic of facing the ensuing
is that almost always we can pull through...........tijkmo......
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Golf
Sqinks, only one word stood out as I read your post, 'cruel,' what was done to you was cruel. Why should a child have to be begging to go out to dinner with his family? I'm trying to comprehend the scenario. I end up shaking my head. As for crying, I cry for others. Glad to know your wheels are no longer spinning.
talesin, this gripping 'fear' is so controlling, as you well describe. Hey, glad to hear the news of achieving your goals, good for you, and I wish nothing but success. Ah, doesn't it make you feel good? What a feeling of accomplishment!
Thanks for sharing your experiences.
Golf -
jeanniebeanz
Helping others in worse shape has helped me to put my own issues into perspective, volunteer work has worked for me.
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Golf
Good for you Jeanniebeanz.
In my community there's a group that help people who are 'need' of help. No groups are excluded, name them, they help them!
They have walls of plaques and letters of thanks at their office from these groups. They deserve lots of recognition.
When you contrast this group with our local government, it's like night & day.
Golf -
minimus
GOLF---you're a profssional sports player???