Have you noticed how self proclaiming Jdub trolls sanctimoniously post on this site? Why do you think this happens?
Why remember the bad treatment?
by Joker10 35 Replies latest jw friends
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Doubtfully Yours
Joker10,
You have a healthy attitude. Unfortunately, yes, many people here just love to marinate in misery. It's just not constructive at all.
These people will be stuck with bitterness for life and never be able to be happy themselves or make somebody else happy because of this regressive demeanor.
I once saw an Oprah show in which they explained how we cannot change the past, therefore, we must accept it happened but it's over. The person must resolve to release it and be happy.
DY
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iiz2cool
Why do you think this happens?
Over the course of 20 years, the JWs, by their example, taught me how to be critical of others. It's what they do best, so now it's what I do best. So now that I'm a prideful apostate? I take every opportunity to ridicule the Watchtower society and its foolish adherents.
Walter
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Brummie
Remembering it does not mean we are still living it. Reflecting back is a social thing on this board, we relate by articulating feelings from the past that people are coping with today. In this way we become greater enemies of the WTower since they want all ex's to live miserable painful lives, but by sharing past experiences many heal and move on to live productive lives. You gots to give exjws some credit for helping so many through the turmoil. Exjws have a great support system, take this board for instance..
Brummie, "waiting for the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind" class.
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doogie
Give advice and listen....Don't judge.
great advice.
joker, i don't know if you're currently a JW or not, but i felt as you apparently feel last summer soon after i found this site. this stuff was eating me from the inside out and coming here and reading about JWs everyday was killing me. at the time, i didn't understand how people could keep thinking about the JWs without being swallowed by a life of bitterness. so i stopped coming here for awhile. now i see that it is possible to think about the JWs from more of an academic standpoint and offer a unique perspective to others that are going through the same things that you've successfully beaten.
also, i've realized that it's none of my friggin business what people want to think about or what sites they choose to frequent. and it's not certainly not my place to judge others as "marinating in misery" and "unable to make anyone happy." emotions are what they are and we all do what we need to to get along. it's only when we are unwilling to accept our own emotions that we truly lose ourselves.
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Gopher
WHY remember the bad treatment? Are we supposed to erase everything in our memory? That doesn't help us move on to a productive life.
It takes time to vent and freely express oneself. It can be overdone, of course. But a certain amount of reflection on why the organization of Jehovah's Witnesses is not the "loving worldwide society" that you can truly trust is healthy. It helps us to put our past in proper perspective.
Once that perspective is gained, then the memories of the bad treatment can become less emotional, and looked at from a more "academic" angle as Doogie correctly stated in the post prior to this one.
I'm not angry about my JW past any more. If I spent the rest of my life stewing in that type of upset feeling I had when I first found out I had been conned by religious charlatans, what a waste that would be. Life is short, and I intend to squeeze the most out of it that I can. If that includes throwing an occasional jibe at the Watchtower Society here or in real life, I will do it.
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Valis
Other people need to be warned as well. Why remember the bad treatment? Because it happened. If the Witnesses lived in a real "spiritual paradise" maybe there wouldn't be so many people pissed off, regretting they ever became a JW, seeking support users on this forum. If we were all homogenous beings the healing process could be measured, time assigned to "get over it" and then viola'! Problem solved..
BTW, I would imagine the Jokers and slimboyfats of this forum still enjoy this forum much more than the driveel encountered on "pro JW" websites. As a matter of fact they come here and spend so much time they want us to accomodate their own version of "get over it" so their own squirming will stop...
Sincerely,
District Overbeer
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Shania
Though I can appreciate your point, you must understand by sharing experience good or bad it is all part of the healing process . Please be patience with us as we might not be up to your level of tolerance. Also keep in mind you are among ones that have given life, blood, and soul and family for 20, 30, 40, 50 years and that is not an easy fix emotionally. As you are aware in Organization you are told not to complain, even if a wrong has been commited against you, you were not to talk about for it could divide the congregation, so you had to suffer in silence and rely on Jehovah to fix it......yeah right! So please my friend, since you are blessed with erasing the past,that is you,and God Bless you for that gift, but not all are able to move on as quickly as other.
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stevenyc
Please check this posters pervious topic posts. They are loaded questions from a JDub.
Joker appears to be the teenage Joker who farts in the elevator and jumps out as the doors are closing.
Reader Beware.
steve
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love11
My landlord is 89 years old and he still talks about WWII and how his buddy's were shot and he received a "Dear John" letter.
Some other people stopped talking about the war the minute they stepped off of the plane to go home.
Others only will talk to their very close family members about it.
Losing your religion is a major life altering event. Different people handle things differently. For me... I've kept quite for 10 years, and now I can't shut up about this forum. It's been the most freeing experience, just getting it out of my head and onto the computer. For others, it may just be rehashing bad memories that they would rather forget. But for myself, I could not forget, until I sent it out of my head and became exposed for all of you to see.