I have been dating an unbaptized JW girl for the past 2 years. We are both 20 years old, and of course her parents did not approve of her dating me (they actually started out not minding, but have become more "spiritual" in the past years, and it then became a HUGE issue). The only way her parents would allow her to date me, and im using the word date lightly, is if i started attending meetings and moving towards becoming a JW. However, my gf also does not believe in what JWs teach, but is affraid to break away from the organization because of the reaction of her family. I have begun attending meetings, because its the only way i can keep dating my gf, but she is still not ready to admit to her parents that she does not want to be a witness. So thats my story!
My Story
by JohnZogby 5 Replies latest jw friends
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AuntieJane
Hi, and although you aren't new, Welcome and thanks for sharing your story. I enjoy getting to "know" people here through their bios and stories.
Questions: How many of her family members are JW? Has she ever been on this board, or checked out any other site like this? If so, what's her reaction/opinion to "apostate" information? Did you grow up in any organized religion yourself?
My daughter dated a JW which is what brought me to this board; I also have a couple of family members involved...and I needed to learn a LOT. I can relate to where you are coming from.
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Grace
Run like hell the other way. Trust me. Biggest mistake of my life is I did the same thing. Wish I had a second chance to run like hell too. No girl in the world is worth you getting sucked into this destructive cult. Grace to you.
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Black Sheep
Hi John,
Your prospective in-laws were very foolish in letting their daughter date you while they were ?weak in the faith?. Someone is going to have to pay the price for that foolishness. I?m not in a position to guess who that is going to be.
Run like hell has already been suggested, but I doubt either of you would consider that a suitable option at this point.
You could turn your brain off and become a Dubby and place yourself under WTBTS control for the rest of your life, or until her family becomes ?weak in the faith? again. This has its advantages. It comes with a built in social club (that works while you are strong in the faith) and you can wander into any KH anywhere in the world and find instant friends.
You could be a good little Dubby until you?ve tied the knot and then fade, but her family could shun you and your wife until they became ?weak? again.
You could accept a ?Bible? study with her father and really do your homework and not let him get away with anything shonky, making him prove everything that you know he can?t prove. Don?t be confrontational if you do this. The object is to plant ?seeds of doubt? in his mind, not to win every argument. This one is a bit risky. You may be seen as ?sent by the Devil?. Tread carefully and pick your targets well. You don?t have to debate every paragraph. The prime objective should be chipping away at the Faithful and Discreet Slave doctrine, and their honesty, as that is at the root of their beliefs.
Bear in mind that this religion can be very destructive of family relationships. If it is a large multi-generation family and you manage to get her parents to see through the WTBS, your girlfriend?s family may, in turn, be shunned by their extended family and you may not want that.
Whatever path you choose, I wish you and you girlfriend well.
Chris
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Dismembered
Take Grace's advice, only I'll add, get your sneakers on & go..............now.
Dismembered
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viewaskew
Don't run. I think some girls are worth it, and I think if you love this girl, you shouldn't abandon her to the 'truth.' Yes, it's difficult. I was in a similar situation, and even though I knew some of the negative aspects of the organization, a couple of years slipped by, we were feeling isolated and needy, and I almost got pulled back in. So my biggest advice to you is to continue associating with those who've been there and escaped, keep fresh in your mind the lives that have been destroyed because of arbitrary decisions made by some misguided men in Brooklyn. This life, if you choose it, probably won't be easy. Studying isn't enough. You will not be accepted by them unless you are completely assimilated. And you don't want that to happen, so it seems inevitable that your relationship with her family will be strained at best. As mine is.
Despite the hardship, for me it's been worth it. One of the ironies of this religion is that it produces good, kind people, evidence of which you'll find on this board. Good luck.