Andy Rooney's tips for telemarketers

by xjw_b12 10 Replies latest social humour

  • xjw_b12
    xjw_b12

    I'm going to try some of these.....

    Three Little Words That Work !!

    (1)The three little words are: "Hold On, Please..."
    Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.

    Then when you eventually hear the phone company's "beep-beep-beep" tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task.

    These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting.
    (2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end?
    This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone.

    This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a "real" sales person to call back and get someone at home.

    What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible. This confuses the machine that dialed the call and it kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their system any longer !!!
    (3) Junk Mail Help:
    When you get "ads" enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return these "ads" with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their own junk mail away.

    When you get those "pre-approved" letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the return envelope.

    Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right?
    It costs them more than the regular 37 cents postage "IF" and when they receive them back.

    It costs them nothing if you throw them away! The postage was around 50 cents before! the last increase and it is according to the weight. In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little, postage-paid return envelopes.
    Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express. Send a pizza coupon to Citibank. If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them their blank application back!

    If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them.

    You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to keep them guessing! It still costs them 37 cents.

    The banks and credit card companies are currently
    getting a lot of their own junk back in the mail, but folks, we need to OVERWHELM them. Let's let them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best of all they're paying for it...Twice!

    Let's help keep our postal service busy since they are saying that e-mail is cutting into their business profits, and that's why they need to increase postage costs again. You get the idea !

    If enough people follow these tips, it will work----
    I have been doing this for years, and I get very little
    junk mail anymore.

  • talesin
    talesin

    LOL! And thanks, I will definitely start mailing those envelopes.

    BTW, here's a good way to protest junk mail. We don't have to pay postage on correspondence sent to our MP. So, save your junk mail for a week, a month, or whatever, wrap it up and send it along to your MP --- no charge!

    t

  • poppers
    poppers

    Great ideas! Thanks.

  • xjw_b12
    xjw_b12
    So, save your junk mail for a week, a month, or whatever, wrap it up and send it along to your MP --- no charge!

    and just think of all the recycling we don't have to haul to the curb, just drop into a mailbox

  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu
    and just think of all the recycling we don't have to haul to the curb, just drop into a mailbox

    When me and my buddy went to Thunder Bay years ago, we used mailboxes for our trash. We threw chocolate bar wrappers, empty cigarette lighters, burger wrappers and slushy cups in there.

  • cab1000
    cab1000

    Talespin, whats an "MP" ?

    Just wondering....

  • talesin
    talesin

    cab, it's Member of Parliament, which is our Federal legislative body. So that would be the local representative in Ottawa (the capital).

    Hey, I have e-friends up there in Indy. *waves*

    XJW_B12

    hehehe, oh yes, it's one of my favorite forms of 'civil disobedience' cause you can't get caught!

    tal

  • Eyebrow2
    Eyebrow2

    tooo funny!

    I try to shred all the pre appoved card and other crap I get in the mail...but I was just tossing the envelpoes...may mail a bunch just to have some fun MUAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

  • prophecor
    prophecor

    Finally, a truly brilliant idea from the mind of Andy Rooney.

    I will start mailing junk mail back right away.

  • cab1000
    cab1000

    talesin, thanks for clearing that up for me......

    ~cab

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