can a person be disfellowshipped without knowing?

by Crooked Lumpy Vessel 18 Replies latest jw friends

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  diamondblue1974

  Definately and in the experience of a close friend they dont even have to try and contact you...then again the PO was biased and had personal reasons for making sure the Disfellowshipping went through.

  DB
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  kwintestal

  We often wonder if we have been disfellowshipped since we don't hide our actions from JW family members. We have been shunned by different ones in the hall too, so no idea.

  Kwin
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  kwintestal

  Maybe we'll just show up at a meeting one day and start chatting to people. If we get told, "We can't talk to you, you're disfellowshipped" then we'll know. Actually, I don't think I really care that much.

  Kwin
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  Quentin

  My mother was DF in the early '70s for smoking. They called all the smokers in and gave them six months to quit. She was unable to attend meetings on a regular basis. At the end of six months she was disfellowshipped, never a word from anyone. My brother, who was ir-regular at the time as well, was told at a meeting he attended.

  It's not like my mother was hiding, at work, or home, they all knew were to find her. So much for Christian love.
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  sweet tee

  I didn't know I had been disfellowshipped until I spoke to an elder in the grocery store and he looked like he was about to bolt! I assumed the obvious.

  I did write the elders in my former congregation a scathing letter telling them they could have at least let me know. I wasn't ever going back to that mess anyway and they knew it. Such vindictiveness from 'God's loving people'. Would Jesus do such a thing?
• 

  IT Support

  You can be shunned without being disfellowshipped.

  Blondie's spot on. This is perhaps what has happened to CLV. The Pay Attention book, page 100 says

  If the sinful conduct is known only to believing family members and no congregation action is taken because of the factors outlined above, believing relatives will likely determine to curtail family association severely, viewing the relative as bad association. (1 Cor. 15 :33)

  The elder body is required to try and contact you by phone and if you can't be reached that way, by registered letter 3 times before they go ahead and DF a person.

  This is, I think, slightly less clear. The instructions are, no doubt deliberately, vague and imprecise. As an aside, it's the judicial committee rather than the elder body as a whole that deals with the matter (a fine distinction, I know, especially in small congregations with few elders).

  The Pay Attention book, page 110 says:

  Do not send an individual any kind of correspondence that directly accuses him of specific wrongdoing.

  It is best for two elders to speak with the individual and invite him to meet with the judicial committee .

  Suitable arrangements should be made as to the time and place of the hearing.

  State what the person's course of action is supposed to have been.

  If it is necessary to send a written invitation, you should

  simply state what the individual's course is alleged to have been, the time and place of the hearing, and how the person can contact the chairman if the arrangements are inconvenient for him.

  However, the Pay Attention book, page 110 says:

  If the accused repeatedly fails to come to the hearing, the committee will proceed with the hearing but will not make a decision until evidence and any testimony by witnesses are considered.

  The committee should have at least made "repeaded" attempts to contact the accused.

  Remembering, of course, the number of times that committees are either unaware of, or choose to totally ignore, such instructions, it is still quite possible that someone could have been disfellowshipped without having been notified.

  Of course, the judicial committee can instead decide that, by one's actions, one has disassociated oneself. According to the Pay Attention book, page 102:

  Those who disassociate themselves should be viewed and treated the same as disfellowshipped persons. (w85 7/15 pp. 30-1)

  The judicial committee is still supposed to have two witnesses to these actions. However, they can decide a person has disassociated himself and announce it to the congregation without meeting with the alleged offender.
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  FairMind

  The elders in the congregation can also break the rules and do whatever they want. There are the written rules and then there is what actually happens.
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  love2Bworldly

  I did not even know about this until the last couple weeks when I started reading this website regularly. I guess I did not get disfellowshipped after I became inactive because my loyal jdub sister still speaks to me.
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  african GB Member

  Sometimes the DF'ng take place while someone lies in a hospital recuperating after having a lifesaving surgery that involved a transfusion.

  african GB member