I know that I asked before whether or not you thought I should talk to them again. But I can't help feeling so guilty as to how things were left. I know that they are at fault for us not having a relationship but I feel like the last words we say to each other shouldn't be mean just in case something should happen to one of us. I want to leave things on a better note but that doesn't mean I want them back in my life again because of their abusive behavior. What should I say to get that across? How do I leave it on a positive note. Below is a link that tells more about my original question if you're interested.
Should I write/ call my sisters?
by love11 10 Replies latest social family
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under74
I know know exactly what to tell you that you should write or say. But I can totally understand you wanting to taking the high road and letting them know that they hurt you but you love them unconditionally. Did you see crumpet's thread about her parents?
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love11
Ya I did. That was inspiring but I'm not sure I would have the same response as she did. Too much bad blood.
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under74
well...it's not all about response right? I mean I'm thinking that you laying out for them where you stand would be just that....and they cn take it or leave it but they'll know that you're there for them even if they aren' for you.....
But I know that's hard to do....Elsewhere posted a letter he had wrote to his parent's on lehaa's "austrailian media" just a couple days ago....did you see that? I really wish I could be more help to you... -
under74
Sorry I'm on a mac so it doesn't link (have to cut & paste)
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/88441/1.ashx -
love11
Thanks Love-
I read elsewhere's letter. Very touching.
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Crumpet
love11 - I just wanted to say that I would probably not contact my sisters. My parents are one thing - my sisters another. If my parents found me tryign to contact my sisters (who still live at home) I think they might close up shop.
Whilst I had a nice response - it only means the door is ajar for future gentle attempts at communication.
Have you decided what to do yet?
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Lehaa
why don't you just write the letter, but don't send it.
I have friend who has a lot of unresolved issues with her mother. Her therapist said write it all down in a letter to them. You don't need to post it but sometimes just writing it down helps.
Then later if you want to post it you can.
I just emailed my dub uncle a letter letting him know how i felt about how the have treated me. It was very therapudic 4 me
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4thought
Family doesn't always come in blood relation. I have a big family and I try my best to get along with all of them, but their lives are sorted and far different from my own. I have resolved myself to believe that I can find my "family" ties in places I least expected them. Friends that I dearly love, my own husband and children (of course), and my in-laws. I am close with my mom and can speak with my siblings on a limited basis, but I have solice in the fact that those that love me are there to support me and in turn receive my unconditional love and support, and those that are hostile are never going to be happy to any degree. Bitterness and self loathing are often projected onto those that are truly happy rather than dealt with as inner conflicts. It may be that your sisters have closets that are occupied and feel that they must put you down in the eyes of others because you have the happiness that they long for. I would not let them hinder your spirit, I would pity their lack of self worth and pull tighter to those that truly love you.
Life is what we make of it, not what we wait to be handed.
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love11
Thanks Crumpet & Lehaa- I haven't decided what to do yet, partly because I'm still torn on what I would say. It's not my fault that we do not talk, so why should I make the first move towards a relationship. I guess it's because I feel it's not right that our family treat each other this way. But I guess you can't make someone do what they don't want to do. I'm still thinking about it. You had a good point about writing to them but not sending it. I just am at a lose for words. I'm not angry, I'm not hateful, I just thought being family we should act like we are family, but they don't want to go along with it, so what do you do? I don't know, but I'm not going to throw myself at them. I guess it just means I won't have an extended family in them. Since I don't even know them anymore, maybe it's not such a bad thing.
"If you don't know what to do, don't do anything at all." - from my grandma.