Anyone Experience Something Similar After Exiting (page 2)

swiftbreeze

No man, no organization can come between you and your relationship with God. Jesus died for all of our sins he didnt say oh if your disc'd then there's nothing for you. In fact i feel when i pray now that God hears my prayers. When i was a JW i felt a void. No matter how hard i prayed i felt nothing. It's different now.

orangefatcat

I agree with several of you. especially the last poster who said no man or organization can seperate us from praying to God. I went through this stigmatism where I believed as some of you said that there was something blocking us from praying to God. I was confused as to what to call God too. So I just decided to call Him God and Jesus Jesus. Prior to becoming a JW I was an Anglican Church of England. I was taught to pray through Jesus Christ as our mediator between Him and His Fathe God. I pray today to God through Christ.

I must admitt I have sometime had a difficult time in praying to God, because of the guilt of thinking God doesn't listen to the prayers of the unrighteous. But I am not unrighteous, all I am is a sinner in need of forgiveness in which God has already done. I know that now. God has subsquently answered my prayers.

But yes indeed I felt that wall at one time. As of late though I am finally feeling more comfortable talking to God. No one and no man made organization can seperate us from God's great love and mercy. And it wasn't until I finally realized that it is by the grace of God we recieve salvation. Nothing to do with so called faithful and discreet slave and their teachings. which are man made.

I thank God for having been patient with me as of late. We need him and his son in our lives to balance out our lives.

Some will attain their own spirituality with out the use of prayer to God and Christ and that is fine to so long as they have some kind of spiritualness.

love Orangefatcat

Frog

Yep, every time I remember this experience very clearly...an elder who was a family friend told me after I found out I was to be disfellowshipped that I should continue praying to Jehovah...I thought this was completely bizarro since I'd always been told that there would be a "cloud" between my prayres and Jehovah. I haven't thought about this for such a long time, now I just feel like vomitting to think that the WT org really wanted us to believe that our only way back to god is through them!! It's so twisted isn't it, I litteraly feel natious. I no longer have a belief in god, but I often find myself out of habbit saying an ultra quick prayre of thanks before mealtime, but then chuckle at myself wondering to whom am I actually expressing my thanks too?!?

Cat-er-daynightfever

I remember the few times that I really did feel a block between God and myself. In one instance, I was deeply angry and hurt and could not forgive certain abuses that I went through. I had to continue to pray for God to help me to forgive. It was very difficult. When I got Dfd, I was also told by the brother that if I got so bad that God wouldn't listen to my prayers anymore. I tried to reassure the brother that I was getting married very quickly in order to stop any of that sin to return, but he just hammered me and freaked out that I went to live with the man I sinned with. Anyway, there was certainly no one listening to the fact that I was a complete wreck because Ifelt like I had to be just perfect in everything that I did and said just to get an introduction to someone. I have had much fear in trying to find a JW mate because his expectations would have been ridiculous. I have clinical depression. Anyone who's been in the truth coudl tell you that there is something really wrong with you if you are not happy and perky all of the time. Personally, I would tend to think that person would be entirely delusional. Anyway, I left because I felt unloved and unwanted. I personally felt that I would never get over my paranoia at even meeting a brother. I also felt that I could never tell anyone to join a group of people who state that you can find happiness as a JW because, frankly, I was always miserable. I was so socially neglected it was pathetic and I was the one who wanted to do the right things. I guess the heart is always the last thing measured by humans.

But I have been praying a lot lately that God reveal all of his truth to me. I can't handle feeling like I know absolutely nothing about God and that I can never get to know him. I have been fuming out the lips about the things I was not told and lied to about by the Org. It feels like I have been religiously raped and told that it was okay and that I should just do whatever they tell me. I have been having crying spells because I'm so angry. I have even cussed and spewed and fumed in chicken language because it is not "christian" to cuss and I didn't want to take it out on my husband. I'm sure there are several out there that can identify with the pushy mate that pushes you into researching,plus the numerous years of abusive speech that tells you that you are from a stupid cult. It is hard to even admit to myself that JWs may indeed be a cult. I am in the process of working through this issue. I just can't handle anymore. I have a really difficult time expressing my anger in the right way. It always seems to come back and hit me instead of what I am really mad at. I have this whole self-blame thing going on. I want to scream. I hate what has happened to me. I need help. Would you pray for me, too?

Cat

Shania

Wow, Quotes, I can't believe I read that stuff and felt "Yep thats right if you are worldly or DFed, God is not listening to your prayers". Oh please forgive me for that thinking. After reading Qoutes post, I see why I felt that way. IT IS JUST PLAIN WRONG FOR THEM TO THINK AND TELL US WHO GOD WILL LISTEN TO AND WHO HE WON'T. I am so sad that is the way I felt.......................it is only Jesus we need in order to talk to our Heavenly Father. I do remember the elders saying to the congregation we are not allowed to pray for DFed people..........at the time I aways prayed for my Brother because I loved him no matter if he was DFed or not............who are they to tell me, a person in good standing with God, who or what my prayers could consist of? See friends everyday we learn something here, that is why it so important to read others reasoning on matters and do some soul searching and you sadly realize how very wrong we were-------------------how dare they come between people and their prayers. If we are not suppossed to pray for DFed ones, then how come the ELDORS can, they are doing something wrong aren't they? IT IS ALL HYPOCRITICAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tijkmo

i remember going on holiday by myself to see if it would cheer me up any.....it didnt--holiday resort with families and couples enjoying the sun and sand and sea....anyway day came to leave..and as i was still kinda praying i remember automatically asking for a safe journey home....then i thought why...we always ask for a safe journey when we go somewhere and say thanx for a safe arrival..but jws still die in car crashes etc even on the way to meetings or conventions and despite having their blood documents in order....so i prayed for the plane to crash and put me out my misery....didnt answer that one either..the irony

Satanus

When i left, such a huge burden was lifted off me, that, for several months i felt like i was floating. I concluded that i must be anointed. The mind is powerful.

S

MerryMagdalene

Oh, the irony, indeed (((tijkmo))) !!! Makes me feel a bit sad and contemplative...thinking about prayers past and present, thinking about a Divine Presence, thinking about the movie The Ruling Class where the schizophrenic Earl describes how he first became aware that he was God/Christ...something about when he prayed he realized he was talking to himself...

~Merry

love2Bworldly

Cat-er-daynightfever--I will keep you in my prayers. I have suffered from depression since I was a little girl and being in the JW's really enforced the negativity and bad feelings and low self-esteem. I am doing much better now that I am on medication and out of that stupid religion. I really fought the medication thing for years, but when I don't take them--I am on the verge of nervous break-downs constantly. You really ought to try them if you suffer from true depression, some people go through just a time period of depression--for others it's a lifetime of suffering like a disease or illness.

greendawn

I never experienced that sense of being blocked that you describe but I am sure when it happens to people it's due to the long years of mind conditioning and nothing else. That blocking is an illusion not real.

Anyone Experience Something Similar After Exiting

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