i don't know. i think one can force oneself not to have romantic feelings for the other friend. so it seems like an exception to the rule situation. but i would say that subconciously one probably has much more interesting thoughts about one's friend.
Platonic Friendships....
by diamondblue1974 31 Replies latest social relationships
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Terry
Our liminal self is hidden from our conscious self; our reptile brain lies curled with one eye open at the world.
When we least expect it there is lightning and thunder.
But, whether it rains or not is entirely up to us.
Then, it is a question of how wet do you want to be.
Terry
Translation of the above: When your nature meets what it really wants; STAND BACK! Something powerful is about to happen. Only supreme willpower and lots of repression can prevent what happens next. NOT going for it is what is unnatural and not the other way around.
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sf
do you think a man and woman can be just friends...?
Absolutely. Especially when great sex is involved. Those are the best friendships. Knowing exactly where you stand too, is a relief. Then the sex is even better because there is no baggage involved; expectations and such.
sKally
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Sith
no offense to the split-tails, but why would any straight man in his right mind want to spent time with a woman if there is no probability of sex? Most of them don't like football, can't shoot hoops and only bitch about the skeeters when they go camping. As my ol' grandad used to say, "If they didn't have a snatch, there'd be a bounty on their heads." Just kidding, ladies
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talesin
Yes, my friends are guys and gals. With the guys, I just don't 'go there'. Often, they are men who had crushes, realized nothing sexual was ever gonna happen, and liked me enough to be a friend.
I had a best best best friend. When he was in his early 30s, he finally settled down. His soon-to-be-wife gave him the ultimatum - her or me. She was not comfortable with our friendship as long as I was single. So, he gave me up. I understood, but it hurt. Every once in a while, we will bump into each other at an event (we are both into activism), and we have a meal, he shows me the latest pic of his little girl. But that's it. I respect him greatly for this decision. I think his wife was absolutely right, because although I would never cross the line with him, he was in love with me for many years. She doesn't need to live with the knowledge that I am always around.
I agree with LT when he said this,
I do have the ability to segregate my friends, in my mind.
Those who are already in relationships are in a box marked "off-limits".Right on!
I also agree with sKally, but find that most men (and I'm talking friends who know you already and care about you) can't have sex without getting too emotionally attached. I remember saying to my buddy "I just think of myself as one of the guys". He replied "No, every time a guy looks at you, he knows you are definitely a girl. Sorry, but you will never be one of the guys". *sigh*
t
loves-football-power tools-and-getting-dirty klass
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sf
but find that most men (and I'm talking friends who know you already and care about you) can't have sex without getting too emotionally attached.
Well, I appreciate that. Yet, it isn't the case in my life experience. I've had many, many friendships with men. Some, no sex was involved. Some, there was a great deal of sex involved. Either way, the friendships have lasted through the years.
As far as any man getting to emotionally attached to me:
sKally
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Preston
Terry, please translate your translatons next time....
jus kiddin
- Preston
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talesin
sKally, I believe you, and wish I could see more than a red x in your pics this time!
It's probably a matter of me sending mixed messages, hey? In my younger days, I was very skittish of LTRs, but still looking for that emotional connection. That was my past, anyway, so I can't blame the guys for reading the messages I was sending out, can I? You're a smart womin, sf!
tal
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Charisma
I actually had several male friends while I was a witness. We were as close as my real life brother (maybe closer) and spent time even alone together.
However, any platonic friends that ended when I stopped being a witness male and female (those who were witnesses that is).
Now I am rebuilding friends and I once again have both male and female friends. Although my morals have changed a little. Some of those friends have become friends with benefits.
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sf
Oh darn, the red x's are yahoo emoticons. One is smiley face rolling on the floor laughing. The other is a "oh shucks, that's just silly" type emote. They are funny. Wish you could see them.
Well yes, I'd equate mixed messages with the type of baggage I refer to.
Just be honest at all times. If you have a male friend that you truly trust in yourself in that you are able to have a great sex relationship along with a great friendship then TALK ABOUT IT. I feel it's best to always be open and honest in our desires with others. Make it clear that if he steps over the boundary, he will be sorry and regret it.
sKally