Shepherding Calls and Depression

KSJordan

When we lived in West Helena, Arkansas, the elders would only make their "shepherding calls" when the circuit overseer was down to visit. They would give my mom pat answers like "the new sytem will be here soon" and "you don't know what problems really are, my pipes busted last week", etc. One elder really did want to help us it seemed, but he was prevented by the other elders who told him "we knoe them better than you do, we will handle it". Even where we live at now, the elders do not come over to help, the only reason one is coming over now is to try to get me to renew my subscriptions to the Watchtower and Awake. They refuse to help us in any way, not even to get back to the meetings, which I no longer wish to attend anyway!!! But my mom says that God has rejected her because the witnesses rejected her. And when I try to tell her what the Bible says, she does not want to hear it.

waiting

Hello KS,

Nice to meet you and welcome to our forum - all kinds of persons here.

But my mom says that God has rejected her because the witnesses rejected her.

How long has your mom been a jw? It sounds like a jw - some of us tend to get what God says in the Bible mixed up with what the WTBTS says.

In my opinion (which means nothing 'cause I don't y'all), it would help your mother a lot to get to know other people other than jw's. Widen out her interests.

JW's are not known for helping weak ones get back to the meetings. They're more interested in getting new ones in.

Perhaps your mom would come on a forum and talk with others? If this forum doesn't suit her - there are others.

Take care.

waiting

KSJordan

She was baptized June 28, 1974. She has seen their hypocrisy, lies and bad treatment firsthand and she still won't admit they are wrong.

waiting

Howdy KS,

May I ask, how old are you? I'm much older, no doubt (50 shut up). Just so you know who you're talking with when you say "Oh mannnnn, an old woman!" Yep, a woman to boot. Just how boring can your life get, eh?

I was baptised in 1971, at the age of 21. May I ask how old your mom is? I've suffered from depression, and taken medication off & on for the last 30 years. Partly due to my childhood (father creep) and partly, I suppose, because of the imposed lifestyle of jw's.

I just never saw the negativity involved. I knew the "no this, no that, never - ever this!" But that's not why I left (another story).

I would suggest strongly that your mother read - read everything. History of the world, history of jw's. Geography, politics, anything. Get her mind going. If she's in a really depressed state, she might not want to read anything - period.

What your mother does is her life. What you do, however, is up to you. Are you in college? Got a job?

I have 3 kids - 30, (girl, df'd, getting married in Oct.) 26 (son, drift away, gay, in Law School), 24 (boy, drift away, starting college, divorced, living with a woman). Btw, I'm married to a jw who "slunk away" at the same time as I did.

Back to you!

waiting

KSJordan

My mom will be 56 next Wednesday. Her interests include police dogs. Anyway, I am 31 and am currently reading "Blood On The Altar" by David Reed. It is really sad how they can manipulate and suck in even highly intelligent people. I bascially grew up in it but saw the truth behind the curtain so to speak, and got out. They are a sad and beaten down people but they are too blind to see it.

waiting

Hey KS,

Her interests include police dogs

Watching, breeding, training, or using? I had a German Shepherd for a while, but he got sick. Beautiful dog - white.

Quite a few posters come onto our forum telling jokes - just to ease their way in. Does you mom like jokes? If so, there are numerous joke threads - such as the one with *my* name (I didn't start it though - but love it).

There are other joke threads also - just go to the joke section or do a search. Perhaps print some out, share with her, and then show her where she can find more? Caution - some are off-color (they tend to be my favorites, btw.)

The book "Crisis of Conscience" by Ray Franz is also an excellent book. I've heard of the book you're reading, but have not read it.

I just finished reading "The Red Tent" about Dinah (in the Bible). It's fiction based on the few statements in the Bible about her. Definitely slanted for a woman's reading. Perhaps she might like that?

It is really sad how they can manipulate and suck in even highly intelligent people.

Yeah, that description fits me to a tee!

waiting

Prisca

Hi KSJ and welcome!

I can relate to the problems associated with the elders calling, when they have no real help or advice to offer to those who are depressed and need help. I tried to explain what problems I saw in the congregation, as well as the ones I had, but they could not offer anything of practical or spiritual value.

I hope you are able to ease your mother into some interest to help her realise there are people outside the JWs that can be more caring. She sounds like she needs some outside friends. Are there any neighbours who could help you?

Waiting has given you some great advice. She's not too bad for an old chick - luv ya waiting!

individuals wife

I can relate to the problems associated with the elders calling, when they have no real help or advice to offer to those who are depressed and need help.

In total agreement with you there, had a sheperding call once when we were a bit irregular at the meetings - the elder came with an agenda all planned out, he had his article all ready to read and his comments laid out in front of him. He did not come to discuss any problems we might be having, he was only interested in delivering his little speech. After he left we felt very deflated and not at all 'spiritually fed'.

Anyway, good to have you here with us KS, it is a very refreshing place to be and you will find lots of support here.

stephenw20

Its really amazing how much an organization that "SELLS" the love theory amongst the group doesnt know how to show love.

Love is not about rules, its about listening , putting your self in someoneleses shoes , seeing their perspective to expand your own.
When issues arise the elders for the most part if they wish to retain their postion MUST follow the compnay line... if they OPENED their minds and other books to new enlightenment the SOCIETY could not handle it.

YOU see wit hthe UNITY of organization it is no longer doing the RIGHT THING and being one with GOD its being ONE with organization and PROMOTING THE SOULTIONS the GROUP HAS FOUNDED>

funny thing is love and GOD(one & the Same) existed well before any organization and will exist when its gone as well.

I know this does not hel the situation , but your recognizing the problem may as it will help you get peace within yourself knowing these folks cant provide any.

S

blondie

"Love throws fear outside."

JWs live in fear of doing the wrong thing in the eyes of the elders and others in the congregation. That's why they run to the elders with everything and the elders run to the CO, DO, and Brooklyn.

Also, we learn love by example and there are no good examples at the KH.

Shepherding Calls and Depression

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