What do people do in a discussion that ticks you off?

by Terry 29 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Terry

  We all enjoy an interesting discussion. But, sooner or later it seem inevitable that somebody comes along and throws a monekywrench into the mechanism and the huge engine sputters to a halt.

  What do people do in a discussion that ticks you off and stops the flow of conversation and turns it from being productive to unproductive?

  Is it as simple as disagreeing with you?

  Is it having a strong opinion which you take as a personal affront to you?

  Is it making statements that are so firm and absolute sounding that they seem aimed at smashing you flat with hubris?

  Or, is it the sudden wisecrack and change of subject that sidetracks the whole thread?

  Is it the appearance of two people popping up and having a private conversation in the middle of a topic?

  WHAT TICKS YOU OFF?

  Terry

  [I must say for myself it is somebody who chooses to be offended when nothing personal was directed at them at all. Then you have to tidy up the mess.}
• 

  upside/down

  If I detect a "chip on the shoulder", my sphynctor tightens....

  u/d
• 

  BlackSwan of Memphis

  When people are so close minded that when a "taboo" subject comes up, they force their opinion on you as fact and then get in your face because you don't agree. I have had arguments with people on so many issues.

  It's tough because that is in a nutshell some key members of my family, so therefore

  1) I hate trying to hold a conversation with them

  and

  2) That's what I was raised around and I try so hard not to be like that, so when I find myself starting to sound like my mother I get incredibly depressed

  If I'm in a phone conversation that get's a little heated and someone hangs up on me.... grrr.

  peace

  blackswan
• 

  love11

  Judgement directed towards you or others. Hey, the jw's are good at that!
• 

  jeanniebeanz

  Is it making statements that are so firm and absolute sounding that they seem aimed at smashing you flat with hubris?

  I have to say that this is a major turn off for me. People who take on an elitist point of view and show open disdain for the opinions of others are just downright annoying.

  The worst, though, is the ad hominem attack which several uppity ones use to shut down an argument or silence those who oppose their point of view. I don't know how many times I have spent a lot of time and effort in putting together a well thought out reply to a question only to be shot down by the person taking the opposite point of view by having them point to a minor error and stating that basically I am not worth their effort in response since I made some minor spelling error or some other such nonsense.

  When I see this behavior now, I simply understand how weak their argument is that they cannot address the issues and choose to attack the person. But it used to majorly get my panties in a twist! (ouch!)

  The least annoying is the silliness that sometimes happens for a few posts in a serious thread as long as it does not get out of hand. Of course, I've never chosen to act in such a silly manner, but to each their own... You know who you are!

  J
• 

  EvilForce

  Anytime I see the word "Schzism" in a thread....NOT INTERESTED!!!
• 

  AlmostAtheist

  When someone says, "I don't agree with you" but won't say what it is they don't agree with or why. Disagreement, but no points to debate. Useless.

  Dave
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  Mulan

  I hate it when people don't give you the right to your opinion, and act like you are a fool to believe the way you do. And they laugh at you, as though you are so naive or ill informed. (which I am not...............I simply have a different viewpoint) Those people feel their view is the only one worthy of having.

  Or, when I talk about a commentator I like on TV, and they say they would never listen to a single word he says, and wonder why I do.

  Those kinds of things are insulting and are conversation stoppers, in my mind.
• 

  bebu

  When I was in college, I could not carry on a conversation with my mother. She'd say, "What do you think about xxx?" And after starting off with one sentence, she'd interrupt me and talk for 10 minutes. It didn't matter if we agreed or not, she'd always interrupt. I learned to just shrug and say, "I'm not sure," and let her vent (which is probably all she was really trying to do). I would not even pay attention to what she said, eventually, and just grunt agreement occasionally while I thought about other stuff. These days, I think she's not as bad, but I don't see her enough to be certain.

  My husband's 90-year old grandma is like this, too. We laugh about it, though. She'll also always ask us loaded questions which leave no way out except to point out the false dichotomy. Which she ignores. Sometimes when we decide to give a clever answer (for fun), she'll look confused, and then ignore what we said and just pick up where she left off. We guess if she can dish it out she should be ready to get it, too. Maybe that's naughty, but we only do it once in a while.

  One thing I dislike about some "discussions" is the atmosphere created by name-calling or ad hominem attacks. Even at JWD the questions can be very loaded, and it's usually clear by the thread title. I figure that the posters can vent to their hearts' content without me, even while I figure their venting is (hopefully) an honest expression... but I don't bother reading these threads anymore.

  I think that people can discuss a topic without needing to bash each other. I really have enjoyed some hot topic threads where respect was always accorded to those with differing perspectives. Those were the most productive, I think, in every way.

  bebu
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  freedom96

  I dislike it when some have to put down others who don't believe exactly as they do.