Update to Shawn's story

Shawn

Well here is todays update. We cannot be friends. She
came over today and said that she needs this to be
happy and I need to let her go. I asked her if it
would really make her happy. She started to cry and
said yes. I told her that I wanted her to be happy
more than anything and if that is what she wants than
I will do what I can. I told her that I am always
there for her and if she ever just needs to hear the
words "I love you" than she could call me. She started
crying more and said that she knows it is hard because
it is hard for her but she has to do it.

There is nothing more I can do right now. I am still
going to educate her friends and family but that is
all I can do. I am always going to be there for her
and I am going to continue with everything I have been
doing but she is making sure I cannot influence her. I
can't blame her. I am trying to make her unhappy in
her eyes and that is what I am sure she is being told
by others.

It is in God's hands alone now. I am not sure there
was anything I could have done different. She made
this up in her mind already I think. I planted as many
seeds as I could and hopefully after educating her
friends and family she will see that "happiness" isn't
available in the WTS.

bebu

Sorry that it happened, Shawn.

She didn't sound very happy to me, with all those tears.

Who knows what the future will bring for her? Keep in mind that there are a slew of folks here on this board who NEVER thought they'd leave the witnesses. But one day, they did.

Love always hopes.

bebu

Country Girl

S

I am sure it hurts, but I think you did what was right for you and your relationship.

CG

Seeking Knowledge

I agree, it sounds like you did the right thing, offering her to be there if she needs you was wonderful. I'm sorry it didn't work out better for you, but keep your chin up.

SK

Country Girl

Bebu--

that was a nice post. Your namesake would be proud of you. BEBU says hi.

CG

Hondo

Shawn,

I really hope it works out for you. In my similar situation (lost my wife of 20 years to the JW's. We were divorced in 2003) we made similar promises, as you, to each other; to stay in touch; to be around for each other if the need arose, etc. Guess What? I am just about totally shunned by her now. I try to stay in touch by sending her a "how are you card" every once in a while hoping for a simply reply that she is doing ok. I have also seen her several time (we live 15 mins apart) over past few months. In each case she avoided eye contact and ignored me as though I did not exist. I took all this to mean that as I am no longer her husband, I am nothing but worldly and satan controlled, as the rest of the 6 billion people in the world supposedly are. What is sad aspect of my situation, and a recent development, is that my daughter, although not a JW (I think and pray that she is not), and my Ex are very very close. I became a grandfather 7 months ago and have only seen my daughter and grandson once in this period (my daughter live with my ex, again, only 15 mins away).Trying to call here is difficult as well. And on, and on, and on...

Anyway, again, I wish you the best, and hope everything works out ok for you, but at the same time, don't be surprised if it doesn't. Your friend may now feel that because ties with you have been "officially" severed, she is free to expand her involvement with the WTS, which will mean her "WTS recommended" association with JW's only, which she may follow to the tee.

GB and the best to you.

kj

I'm sorry to hear that it ended up this way. You are doing the right thing, though. Just be there for her when she needs you. Educating her other friends and family is a great idea, too. I know this has to be hard for you, to just let it go for now. Just praying for her. You are a good friend.

kj

kls

Sorry Shawn but maybe in time she will see the wt for the cult it is but as for now ,just be there for her .

Right now this is her safety net and she is not ready to let go.

I hope you still stick around here cause i like your posts and you is funny to.

NewLight2

Shawn,

I'm so sorry for you. Keep your chin up. I know that this is painful right now, but in the long run, this may have been the best way for now. She is just following 'instructions' probably from an elder. No doubt they have 'encouraged' her to 'choose Jehovah' by breaking all ties with someone who she considers to be a 'spiritual danger' to herself. She is not turning her back on you as a person, but rather on what you represent ie 'THE WORLD'. In her mind she is choosing to 'follow Jehovah by turning her back on worldy friends'. This is painful for her too.

Even though SHE has choosen to abanden you, you do not need to abanden her or her child. I would wait about a couple of weeks and send her a nice card that says "To my friend". Choose one that is not too gushy but yet says "I care" or "Thinking of you". Hopefully she will send you one back. DO NOT mention anything about 'religion' when sending the card. You might want to send her son a small gift as well - ie a candy bar or something else he may like.

Please continue with your learning about the WT here on JWD and by reading books.

NewLight2

Shawn

NL2, you are incredible. You too kls. When ever I read something negatvie you guys are always there to help me.

I am not leaving this board. I am now trying to find out more about situations like this and I want to be involved in the counter-cult movement and ministry. This is a serious problem and no one knows about it.

Thank you all and I hope I have your continued support in everything. She is still my friend and I am going to make that last as long as possible. I will always be there for her and her family.

Update to Shawn's story

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