Were you criticized for being outspoken & lacking tact?

LongHairGal

I seemed to have a problem with the people there because I am outspoken. (And this was all before I had any clues to how bad the whole thing was.) I am just an outspoken person in general and my family (not dubs) are also outspoken.

I had several problems over the years with "friends" because something I said always offended somebody. It got to the point that I used to keep my mouth shut in car groups, etc. We used to hear how "we should season our words with salt" etc. I know we should be tactful but what I noticed with them was they were always ready to use your tact against you. Tact only works with other persons who are tactful. If a tactful person goes up against a person who does not have tact the person without the tact would run over the tactful person like a bulldozer.

I came to the conclusion there that truth in any form (religious or otherwise) cannot be tolerated by many people there because it would shatter their bubble of fantasy. But there was only so much of being phony that my personality could tolerate.

LHG

rebel8

No way! I had the opposite experience. My old cong had some of the rudest people on the planet. They had no idea what etiquette, tact, and manners even are. They were hateful, verbally abusive bullies who loved to sit around and rip people to shreds, whether they were present or not. In their eyes, everyone else was to be made fun of. It was a constant choice of either joining in the self-righteousness or being a victim of it. Everything from people's driving skills and mannerisms to their choice in clothing was critiqued in a very mean way. A pioneer got reprooved for it and ended up stepping down for refusing to stop. That didn't seem to discourage anyone else from doing it.

Part of my self-deprogramming was to study etiquette and interpersonal boundaries, so I would know how to act in society. I had few people skills when I left the dubs because I had little exposure to anyone who acted normally.

iiz2cool

My ex was often criticized for being outspoken and lacking tact. Because of this the elders counselled me because they decided she wasn't "in subjection" to me. Of course, the counsel didn't work because I liked her that way. I'm a very "shit or get off the pot" kind of guy and I have little use for people who can't be straightforward with me.

Walter

whyamihere

Hey I was criticized for everything My Hair and Clothes...and yes my Mouth. All those Sisters hated me. I don't know why?

I am a nice person I just have mean things to say!

Brooke

TooOpinionated

Oh yes, constantly! Hence my username, since that was always my heinous "crime". It also got me into trouble when I said the 2 witness rule for child molestation was a farce, and let everyone know. I was apalled that families of young children could not be warned. I have always stated my opinion, and before I was baptized I had one elder say that he thought one day my outspokeness and trouble accepting a "woman's role" would get the better of me. After almost 3 years of thinking THEIR opinions of me were right and that there was something wrong with ME, I found this site and everything magically fell into place.

FairMind

I was not criticized, I was hauled into the back room and chewed out by a red faced elder. I am still outspoken but more careful as to whom it is with.

Is anyone besides me having a problem with quotation marks and apostrphes being changed to question marks when their post is submitted? I'm having that "problem".

upside/down

Who you callin outspoken you F*ckin Dub whore?

Tactless too.... ain't dat da "shit"?

u/d (of the some people have no class class)

LongHairGal

Rebel:

You mentioned people who were rude and nasty and ripped people to shreds. I wonder if any of them were elderly pioneers or anointed? It seems that nastiness will be tolerated from certain people as though age has given them the privilege. There is a certain brother in my hall (I can't give too many details). Well, he's not all there if you know what I mean and I was out in a car group with him and he said some nasty things to me which confirmed my suspicions that I was talked about and being panned by the busybodies there. Of course, he, being stupid gave it all away. I told him off and I would never speak to him again. What I really can't forgive is the mean spirited gossip that is all pervasive there.

LHG

Elsewhere

I was counseled for being too smart. The elders literally ask me to "dumb down" my vocabulary.

LongHairGal

Elsewhere:

I also had a similar problem to yours. When commenting at the bookstudy or WT meeting I sometimes brought out a point or fact related but not mentioned in the paragraph. This seemed to piss some people off as though they resented me for being too smart or well-read. Once, years ago a sister asked me if I did a lot of personal study or did I have this knowledge before I came in! I guess she was trying to determine what category to put me in!

My biggest problem though was the fact that some people were threatened by my brain and my mouth. I tried to analyze it once after a particular situation years back and surmised that some people may have an agenda (in other words they are full of you-know-what) and I guess they are afraid I will expose them, or not be in sympathy or something.

LHG

Were you criticized for being outspoken & lacking tact?

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